Story Goodbye thread, SN method

[whywere]

Always around if you want to talk, as it is NOT going anywhere, and remember one and done.

Walter

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope your bf can pick you up. Don't be too hard to yourself now.

 

[cheese.out]

Please you dont have to apologize, we are here for you. Sending you lots of hugs

 

[razahcareca27]

go be with your bf! so sorry for u and no need to worry. be well

 

[Placo]

I tried to sent you a dm, but I don't see it when I submit it
I wanted to say that there's no problem if you change your mind.
It is really scary, only the though it is for me.
Feel free to talk, if you need that

I think we need to overcome this fear if we really want to be at peace with the idea of death and be ready, in any case I respect the OP's decision, it is a pro-choice forum after all.

 

[Ash]

No need to apologise. Hope you're home and warm now. Do not beat yourself up for this xx

 

[MidnightDream]

Proud of you for listening to yourself, takes a lot of courage to change your mind. We're all here for you as long as you need us

 

[iloverachel]

I cant do it i really cant im panicking so hArd and its cold i wanna be in bed :( im calling my bf if he can pick m up i cant bicicle home ik so sorry for worrying everyone

It's okay. We are here for you

 

[Orangee]

That sounds really scary. I hope you are safe and comfy right now and I'm proud of you for listening to your wants and needs. Take all the time you need to recover, sending hugs your way ♥

 

[J&L383]

J, I'm glad you listened to your heart and changed your mind. Something was telling you that there's still a reason to live. Life is precious even though it's shitty for a lot of us, including me . But once you choose to end it, there's no guarantee there is anything after that. I don't know you, but I share many of the things you mentioned and I can at least relate to what you're suffering is, even though only you know exactly what it's like to be you. Death will always be there for you one way or another, sooner or later, it's your choice, it's always your choice.

As you can see, you will always have friends here. Stay warm, enjoy your bf, your music, and the little things.

 

[heavyeyes]

No need to apologize. It's important to listen to yourself. Please take care friend <3

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

I cant do it i really cant im panicking so hArd and its cold i wanna be in bed :( im calling my bf if he can pick m up i cant bicicle home ik so sorry for worrying everyone

Your good dude!! I was in your exact same position like a week ago and made the same decision to back away. It's perfectly normal (and honestly good) that you had doubts and didnt go through with it. I hope you have a good day with your boyfriend and you're able to cool off and get comfy <3

 

[hopeless08]

Today is the day I'm going to try and end it all. I tried before multiple times, but it was always on impulsive while not being myself. (luckily?) I always managed to stop. I wasn't prepared anyways, and it was my biggest reason to not do it yet. But now im fully prepared. I got my method ready with the supplies needed, got my notes, my stuff is in order. Even mentally im ready i think, even though im scared of whats going to happen, but i think thats normal.
It still must be better than the alternative: I have been gaslighted and manipulated into becoming "the perfect son/little brother" by my family, which caused me to have my entire life wasted with no true identity, all the social workers and therapists have abandoned me, my home situation became unbearable and am at risk of becoming homeless, and its impossible to move out, When I enjoy myself im quickly overwhelmed by negative thoughts, being a very tall trans emo girl thats gets laughed and bullied daily by strangers, being very late diagnosed autistic and getting no help... Idk there is so much more happening i can no longer take it.. I tried to recover a lot but it all keeps getting worse :(
There are things im really going to miss. Especially my bf.. Hes the only light in my terrible life who has always been good to me and made me better. He made me pull me away from my family so i could life my live a bit on my own way. I would end up way worse if I didnt had him. And i feel so bad for having to leave him, but he knows of the pain im in, its no secret to him since im pretty open about everything.
I would also miss music a lot. Not a day goes by without listening to it for hours. If there is an afterlife PLEASE let me have access to my spotify >.<
And of course i am going to miss everyone here. Sasu is such a great and open place where you dont get judged. You people are so friendly and caring... I love all of you <3

And now my plan: around 7 pm gmt + 1, or like 6 hours from posting this, im going to take SN, with paracetamol and quetiapine 1 hour before. I also got weed im gonna smoke hours before that, and a couple of cigarettes in the meantime. Im gonna spent my last hours at a nice little pond not far from home listening to music. Luckily the weather is pretty ok today.
Im gonna document everything in this thread. Right now im gonna finish everything up at home and of course remove anything sasu related from my pc.

Goodbye my friends <3

So sorry for everything you went through but you seem to be at ease now with the whole process which is a good thing and I'm glad you found some solace on this site . Good luck may you finally be free of pain and have eternal peace

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Wish you to finally find peace

 

[Zanmato]

I cant do it i really cant im panicking so hArd and its cold i wanna be in bed :( im calling my bf if he can pick m up i cant bicicle home ik so sorry for worrying everyone

Hope you're feeling better now
Take care and rest!

 

[justcallmeJ]

Thank you so much for the support everyone, and im so sorry for making everyone worry. I just woke up, i slept immediatly when i got home.
When i finished making the sn i was panicking so much, my heart was pounding loudly, i couldnt breath, i couldnt stand up even, and i was freezing since the weather suddenly became cold, I could also barely read my scale anymore. i just couldnt do it, i never felt that misserable before. I called my bf and when he arrived i collapsed in tears. I confessed what i did and fortunatly he forgave me. Hes so glad i didnt do it but he wants to talk this weekend about our future. Hopefully it isnt gonna be a bad thing...
Im gonna seek help again, i might aswell try to recover if i cant ctb. First goal is i NEED to get out of the house. My mom is the biggest blockade atm.
Thank you once again everyone <3

 

[rozeske]

Am glad to see you doing ok. Your b.f. sounds like a sweet person, am glad you had him by your side. Good call on the need to move away from the things that give you problem and drain your energy. Take care of your mental health. Whatever you may endup deciding, i wish you all the best in your future journey

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm glad you are ok today. Good luck! I really hope you can find a way out of your misery and I hope your bf supports you as best as possible!

 

[J&L383]

 

[bipbapbop]

Thank you so much for the support everyone, and im so sorry for making everyone worry. I just woke up, i slept immediatly when i got home.
When i finished making the sn i was panicking so much, my heart was pounding loudly, i couldnt breath, i couldnt stand up even, and i was freezing since the weather suddenly became cold, I could also barely read my scale anymore. i just couldnt do it, i never felt that misserable before. I called my bf and when he arrived i collapsed in tears. I confessed what i did and fortunatly he forgave me. Hes so glad i didnt do it but he wants to talk this weekend about our future. Hopefully it isnt gonna be a bad thing...
Im gonna seek help again, i might aswell try to recover if i cant ctb. First goal is i NEED to get out of the house. My mom is the biggest blockade atm.
Thank you once again everyone <3

Im glad to hear from you and glad to know you are seeking recovery on your own terms. Your bf sounds lovely and I hope the conversation goes well. Take care of yourself, you deserve it.

 

[Ash]

You and your bf sound like a well made couple. I hope everything works out for both of you. You definitely deserve happiness and a future of your own making. And yeah, getting a place of your own is a an excellent first goal.

 

[melancholymallory03]

Today is the day I'm going to try and end it all. I tried before multiple times, but it was always on impulsive while not being myself. (luckily?) I always managed to stop. I wasn't prepared anyways, and it was my biggest reason to not do it yet. But now im fully prepared. I got my method ready with the supplies needed, got my notes, my stuff is in order. Even mentally im ready i think, even though im scared of whats going to happen, but i think thats normal.
It still must be better than the alternative: I have been gaslighted and manipulated into becoming "the perfect son/little brother" by my family, which caused me to have my entire life wasted with no true identity, all the social workers and therapists have abandoned me, my home situation became unbearable and am at risk of becoming homeless, and its impossible to move out, When I enjoy myself im quickly overwhelmed by negative thoughts, being a very tall trans emo girl thats gets laughed and bullied daily by strangers, being very late diagnosed autistic and getting no help... Idk there is so much more happening i can no longer take it.. I tried to recover a lot but it all keeps getting worse :(
There are things im really going to miss. Especially my bf.. Hes the only light in my terrible life who has always been good to me and made me better. He made me pull me away from my family so i could life my live a bit on my own way. I would end up way worse if I didnt had him. And i feel so bad for having to leave him, but he knows of the pain im in, its no secret to him since im pretty open about everything.
I would also miss music a lot. Not a day goes by without listening to it for hours. If there is an afterlife PLEASE let me have access to my spotify >.<
And of course i am going to miss everyone here. Sasu is such a great and open place where you dont get judged. You people are so friendly and caring... I love all of you <3

And now my plan: around 7 pm gmt + 1, or like 6 hours from posting this, im going to take SN, with paracetamol and quetiapine 1 hour before. I also got weed im gonna smoke hours before that, and a couple of cigarettes in the meantime. Im gonna spent my last hours at a nice little pond not far from home listening to music. Luckily the weather is pretty ok today.
Im gonna document everything in this thread. Right now im gonna finish everything up at home and of course remove anything sasu related from my pc.

Goodbye my friends <3

Wishing you love and peace on your journey,I'm sorry it came to this amigo. May you have eternal peace and freedom from you're suffering ~

 

[cheese.out]

Im praying for you good luck with your recovery

 

[Meteora]

I m glad you are safe and I truly hope you'll recover from what burdens you so much .

 

[Dliena]

No pressures OP! It's not easy at all and whatever else you decide we'll be right here with ya to support you!

 

[Nephis]

I hope for you, peace~

 

[whywere]

Thank you so much for the support everyone, and im so sorry for making everyone worry. I just woke up, i slept immediatly when i got home.
When i finished making the sn i was panicking so much, my heart was pounding loudly, i couldnt breath, i couldnt stand up even, and i was freezing since the weather suddenly became cold, I could also barely read my scale anymore. i just couldnt do it, i never felt that misserable before. I called my bf and when he arrived i collapsed in tears. I confessed what i did and fortunatly he forgave me. Hes so glad i didnt do it but he wants to talk this weekend about our future. Hopefully it isnt gonna be a bad thing...
Im gonna seek help again, i might aswell try to recover if i cant ctb. First goal is i NEED to get out of the house. My mom is the biggest blockade atm.
Thank you once again everyone <3

You are a very GREAT spirit. You and your boyfriend will do GREAT. It takes time and effort BUT YOU will do GREAT things in life, I 100% firmly believe it.

I slept great last night knowing that you are here, it would have broken my heart into a million pieces otherwise.

You and your boyfriend BOTH will be so darn good.

Just focus on getting better and knowing that you are loved and cared for here.

Lots of HUGE hugs, love and have a weekend filled with vibrant blue skies with your boyfriend.

Walter

 

[splitsvillaseason15]

hey u still there?

 

[canterye]

hopefully your bf isnt selfish in his reaction. i hope things work out the way you want them to.

 

[eatantz]

Good luck! wishing you peace