Goodbye. Taking SN in 4 hours.

[skylarwhiteyo104781]

Hi guys,

I haven't posted much on here but I've been pretty active on here for the past few months. After a few failed attempts this is my final goodbye thread.

I am going to CTB via SN. I have
- 100 mg obtained from CCS
- 4mg Zofran
- Tylenol

I am roughly 65 inches and 170 pounds, so am planning on mixing 25 grams of SN into around 50 ml of water.

Also started fasting at around 5 PM - so around 7 and a half hours by the time I CTB

I'm finishing up writing out my letters to loved ones and hope they will follow my wishes of releasing my death as an OD. I've been exhaustingly suffering for a while now and am praying tonight is the night I can finally CTB.

It's around 8:30 PM for me (I am in EST) and I am going to drink my SN at around 12:15 AM EST. No one will look/ find me for around 7 hours so hopefully that is enough. I will keep checking and updating this post as long as I can.

This is a nice community with nice people. Somehow is a space where awkwardness doesn't exist and everyone looks out for each other. I wish you all the best.

Also, I will make sure to come back and tell you guys if the SN attempt didn't work and why it didn't - I know that infos valuable around here.

Feel free to pm me with anything! Suicide is quite lonely, makes you dream of a world where it wasn't looked at so negatively so you can leave surrounded by those you love.

Update: It's 11:32 PM and I'm waiting for my roommate to fall asleep (our rooms are seperated by a flex wall so I don't think she'll be able to hear anything. The soonest I'll be woken up will be 8 hours from now.). I have a few more notes to write to people but am feeling so exhausted. I am about to take the Tylenol which will mark 1 hour until I drink the SN. As I said I'll keep updating you guys and thanks for all the kind wishes.

Update 2: It's 12:37, just finished my notes and swallowed Benadryl instead of Tylenol because one of you guys showed me it's better. Feel pretty calm and am going to be taking my Zofran (closest thing I could get to an Antiemetic) at 12:50. Just watching The Truman Show now. I am a little behind in things, but I should be unconscious an hour from now

Update 3: Taking Zofran as I type this. Starting to mix the SN mixtures.

Update 4: 1:46 AM, going to drink th SN soon.

"The Manipulated Living will do anything to save themselves from Oblivion." - Donnie Darko

 

[thereisnomeaning]

I don't even know how you must be feeling right now, hope you get better and are able to not suffer anymore, whatever that means to you

 

[Dead Meat]

So sorry to see you go @skylarwhiteyo104781 and am wishing you a very pleasant and comfortable journey and may you have eternal peace and serenity you Beautiful Soul

 

[SatouR]

Wishing you a peaceful journey.

 

[Touhou]

Farewell, I hope the bus ride's smooth & you're able to find what you've been searching for postmortem.

 

[skylarwhiteyo104781]

Farewell, I hope the bus ride's smooth & you're able to find what you've been searching for postmortem.

Thank you. I have no idea what's going to happen and all you can really do is hope and pray it's better.

 

[jan]

Goodbye,I wish you a calming journey <3

 

[Myforevercharlie]

A little candle burns for you, may it lead your soul to love and peace

 

[wanttodie]

good luck

 

[Covalite]

I wish you the best and hope you leave this world in peace.

 

[wtg]

I hope you find peace

 

[BabyCamus]

I hope you find rest <3

 

[zxcvb278]

Have a peaceful rest man

 

[WorthlessCoward]

We can be suicide besties then

 

[locked*n*loaded]

May your troubles be gone and peace be yours.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Bon voyage - I wish you the best

 

[ExistHarm]

rest in peace

 

[GrazieMille]

See you, buddy.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Godspeed.

 

[i honestly gave up.]

Goodbye. I just wanted to say that we all love and care about you. No matter what. Some people struggle to express it while others struggle to absorb it. I love you, man. Tell my friend Legend V. Carley I said hey. I miss him so much.
You should go outside for one last time. In your last breaths.

 

[qwerty1969]

Good luck

 

[Dominicka]

I hope you find much deserved peace.

 

[skylarwhiteyo104781]

I hope you find much deserved peace.

You too.

 

[i honestly gave up.]

Goodnight, sleep well.

I genuinely/personally mean it to you. Goodbye.

 

[Challu]

I'm here with you, @skylarwhiteyo104781 remember that you are not locked into anything. None of us are expecting you to do anything. If you havent yet weighed out the decision, its ok to do it now. If you choose, you dont have die

 

[general bacon]

May you find peace my friend.

 

[RoundaboutResolved]

Wishing you a successful & peaceful journey to whatever comes next!

 

[hellispink]

Best of luck. Going soon too. May you have a nice way out

 

[Sammie_com.sanrio]

Best of luck! Great job, you showed how it is possible, I hope you can rest

 

[i honestly gave up.]

Best of luck. Going soon too. May you have a nice way out

How do you plan on going out? I severely need a single bullet (I'm not asking you for one, I was just saying how I plan to).