Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
Starting to feel sick from the anxiety. I wish the phenibut would start working.
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IWTD
Who knows.
- Jun 24, 2020
- 124
I think we all here understand you
I have my sn ready too, im just waiting that my town is out of quarantine bc I want to rent a place close to the sea to do it, Im certainly convinced that I wanma do it but sometimes I feel really nervous thinking about it
I hope you start to.feel.better, try to control you breathing and clean your mind of thoughts
wisshjng you the best
I have my sn ready too, im just waiting that my town is out of quarantine bc I want to rent a place close to the sea to do it, Im certainly convinced that I wanma do it but sometimes I feel really nervous thinking about it
I hope you start to.feel.better, try to control you breathing and clean your mind of thoughts
wisshjng you the best
Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
I'm feeling a little calmer. Maybe the phenibut is kicking in.
nightnightnitrite
baby blues
- Apr 17, 2021
- 483
I'm sorry life has led you to this outcome. I wish you nothing but peace and tranquility<3
Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
Feeling very anxious again.
Birthinjune
Member
- Jan 31, 2021
- 37
Maybe just rest tonight? Try not to feel rushed because of circumstances of your mom being out of the house
Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
I don't know if I can do this. No I have to. I have to get over this and do it.
nightnightnitrite
baby blues
- Apr 17, 2021
- 483
You don't have to do anything! Don't feel pressured to do anything you are comfortable with! Be safe lovely<3
demuic
Life was a mistake
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,383
Please take your time and wait if you don't feel like this is the right moment. There will always be another time to CTB, but once you go you can't come back. I wish you well in whatever you decide.
Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it. I hate myself so much. I'm such a coward. I thought it would be easier now that I have propranolol to make it more comfortable. It eased my mind somewhat, but not enough. I'm sorry. I just made an ass of myself all over again. I'm so stupid. I don't know what to do now. Sorry.
it's_all_a_game
I remember...death in the afternoon...
- Nov 7, 2020
- 356
Don't beat yourself up, death ain't goin' no where 
avoid_slow_death
Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
- Feb 4, 2020
- 1,358
You're definitely not a coward. Just not at peace with the idea and that is fine. You take your time to think and/or talk. Do what you need to do for you. That's the most important thing right now.
ThrownAwayTom
Experienced
- Oct 3, 2020
- 276
You did not make an ass of yourself. Go hug your cat :)
DunnoWhyButYeah
~*-*~
- Apr 3, 2020
- 396
You are not stupid or coward or anything like that! No need to feel like this.
I'm sending lots of warm hugs to you.
Is there something that you can do now what makes you feel better, cuddle with your cat? And talk about your feelings to us or someone else if you feel like it.
Noting to feel bad about. This is a safe space to talk.
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,082
Sending you hugs. I would do the same probably. It's not easy. Love you.
Im so glad you decided not to go through with it as it sounded very clear you were unsure. Your no coward. Don't underestimate the stress you've just been through wrestling with the thoughts and reality of ending your life. Be kind to yourself. I'm sorry your suffering so much.
DeadButDreaming
Specialist
- Jun 16, 2020
- 362
Wishing you the best, Rue89. Looking forward to seeing you around in the future.
catch99
Member
- Apr 18, 2021
- 62
Its probably for the best. Would have been pretty traumatic for your brother to find you dead
Thanatonaut
My time is coming.
- May 17, 2019
- 264
Never apologize to a group of strangers for choosing not to CTB. You're not being held to any expectations. You are not stupid. You are not a coward.
Quinlor
The stranger
- Feb 21, 2019
- 1,063
Next time try to shut the cell phone and only mentalizing about your life and what you really want to, hugs from Brazil
.You are not a coward, you did not make an ass of yourself and you're not stupid. We all understand you and you did the right thing, if there is any doubt at all, you should always postpone. SI is a bitch ... the mind is a bitch ... trust me, I know all too well as I think most of us do. No matter how bad we want it, it's incredibly hard to complete it. I'm hoping to ctb this month, but I may have to postpone due to some personal issues. I have no idea how I will be in that moment or if I will be able to go through with it even if things fall into place. Just know we understand you and support you whatever you choose!
OMG.. please don't be sorry. The last thing you need is to feel pressure to do something you're not ready for . You did NOT make an ass at all of yourself..
we all experience that struggle.. there wouldn't be anyone on this forum if it was easy.
On a side note.. don't take that phenibut.. stuff is nasty for the brain.. so many horror stories of withdrawal and making anxiety worse.. have u been taking it often or is it a special occasion thing?
Natural Medicines - Phenibut warning
Natural Medicines, the Authority on Integrative Medicine
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EraseRewind
Circling the drain
- May 13, 2020
- 225
Please don't be sorry, it's totally fine that you changed your mind. Maybe now was not your time, you sound as though you have so much compassion. I hope you can be kind to yourself and let the self hate subside.
You made the best decision for you today. I wish you the best.
You made the best decision for you today. I wish you the best.
RainAndSadness
Administrator
- Jun 12, 2018
- 2,166
I guess I'm a bit late but I'd still like to point out something very important.
I'm not quite sure what threats you're referring to but if you're talking about the pro-life crowd, don't worry about them and please don't let their abuse and bullying get to you. You shouldn't give them that much power over your life, they don't deserve that. They can't do anything to you, they know that and there is no reason to fear them. They talk big online but they're just weak, pathetic individuals enjoying a power trip, that's it. These threats are empty. These people should be your last reason to end it all and you didn't do anything wrong in the first place. They're just looking for scapegoats to blame their own bad parenting on, I'd recommend you just ignore these people and let them scream into their empty void. You shouldn't take any of their threats seriously. They're also sending threats into my direction regularly but they can suck on my balls. They'd surely love to take me down simply because I'm a moderator who believes in the right to die but I'm not going anywhere. When I told Kelli via Twitter to sue me if she really believes that I'm breaking any laws, you know what she did? She blocked me. That's how much power they have over us. It's all talk, no action. They're cowards.
I'm not quite sure what threats you're referring to but if you're talking about the pro-life crowd, don't worry about them and please don't let their abuse and bullying get to you. You shouldn't give them that much power over your life, they don't deserve that. They can't do anything to you, they know that and there is no reason to fear them. They talk big online but they're just weak, pathetic individuals enjoying a power trip, that's it. These threats are empty. These people should be your last reason to end it all and you didn't do anything wrong in the first place. They're just looking for scapegoats to blame their own bad parenting on, I'd recommend you just ignore these people and let them scream into their empty void. You shouldn't take any of their threats seriously. They're also sending threats into my direction regularly but they can suck on my balls. They'd surely love to take me down simply because I'm a moderator who believes in the right to die but I'm not going anywhere. When I told Kelli via Twitter to sue me if she really believes that I'm breaking any laws, you know what she did? She blocked me. That's how much power they have over us. It's all talk, no action. They're cowards.
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Next time try to shut the cell phone and only mentalizing about your life and what you really want to, hugs from Brazil
I agree, that should be a precious and intime moment, not something to share with the world, that only leads to unnecessary pressure and anxiety
Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
I woke up feeling terrible. Awful headache and so much regret. Fuck, am I going to let my anxiety control my life forever?
ThrownAwayTom
Experienced
- Oct 3, 2020
- 276
Regret for not going through with it? Regret of making this post? SI is a bitch.
When you say (or anyone else here feels like) they've failed or made a chump of themselves by making the thread and not going through it it - remember the only people reading the thread are people who haven't managed it either. Nobody who is reading the fact you're still here has had the balls to go through with it either.
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