Goodbye SaSu

[absolute failure]

I hope you got all the peace in the world

 

[yume_]

Descanse em paz

 

[Defenestration]

Paradise

 

[muu]

hi dewd, i don't know if you're still here. you said you'd be offline after making your goodbye post, so i just want to come here and say something

i didn't get to know you very well, which is unfortunate. you were always a blast to talk to in the chats even if it was about really depressing topics. you're very intelligent, especially about what you're going to do.

i really do wish you peace. i hope that you have a good time up there. bye-bye. let's do something fun when i get up there.

 

[dewdfish]

I am at the hospital, again. I thought I was safe and had time because I was alone at home… everyone was out for work and school, but something happened and my brother came home a couple minutes after I kicked my chair. I feel awful, I thought this was it and it was over. I genuinely don't want to be here anymore and I hate that I was saved instead of left hanging to die. My neck is bruised, I've got a horrid migraine right now and again wires attached to my chest, I feel so frustrated and most of all, I am desperate. I hate this, I hate that I am alive, I hate everything as of now.
I don't know when I will be out but thankfully I am not going to a psych ward as they don't take you involuntarily in my country, so when I'm out, I will be booking a hotel and taking my SN, I am not leaving this up to the universe to decide anymore :(

 

[AntarusDragon]

I am at the hospital, again. I thought I was safe and had time because I was alone at home… everyone was out for work and school, but something happened and my brother came home a couple minutes after I kicked my chair. I feel awful, I thought this was it and it was over. I genuinely don't want to be here anymore and I hate that I was saved instead of left hanging to die. My neck is bruised, I've got a horrid migraine right now and again wires attached to my chest, I feel so frustrated and most of all, I am desperate. I hate this, I hate that I am alive, I hate everything as of now.
I don't know when I will be out but thankfully I am not going to a psych ward as they don't take you involuntarily in my country, so when I'm out, I will be booking a hotel and taking my SN, I am not leaving this up to the universe to decide anymore :(

Dont worry about that *hug*

 

[dewdfish]

Dont worry about that *hug*

Thank you! You guys are the family that I don't have irl I am really grateful for all that.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

I am at the hospital, again. I thought I was safe and had time because I was alone at home… everyone was out for work and school, but something happened and my brother came home a couple minutes after I kicked my chair. I feel awful, I thought this was it and it was over. I genuinely don't want to be here anymore and I hate that I was saved instead of left hanging to die. My neck is bruised, I've got a horrid migraine right now and again wires attached to my chest, I feel so frustrated and most of all, I am desperate. I hate this, I hate that I am alive, I hate everything as of now.
I don't know when I will be out but thankfully I am not going to a psych ward as they don't take you involuntarily in my country, so when I'm out, I will be booking a hotel and taking my SN, I am not leaving this up to the universe to decide anymore :(

Aw I'm so sorry :( The hospital is never a fun place to be in any circumstance...

 

[dewdfish]

Aw I'm so sorry :( The hospital is never a fun place to be in any circumstance...

I hate it here, I hate how everyone looks at me and treats me. This is a horrid place, especially them knowing what I tried.

 

[krsm98]

I am at the hospital, again. I thought I was safe and had time because I was alone at home… everyone was out for work and school, but something happened and my brother came home a couple minutes after I kicked my chair. I feel awful, I thought this was it and it was over. I genuinely don't want to be here anymore and I hate that I was saved instead of left hanging to die. My neck is bruised, I've got a horrid migraine right now and again wires attached to my chest, I feel so frustrated and most of all, I am desperate. I hate this, I hate that I am alive, I hate everything as of now.
I don't know when I will be out but thankfully I am not going to a psych ward as they don't take you involuntarily in my country, so when I'm out, I will be booking a hotel and taking my SN, I am not leaving this up to the universe to decide anymore :(

dang... i'm sorry for your circumstance, being in the hospital is horrible especially with how they are treating you like u mentioned :(
Im sending virtual hugs over for u m8

 

[dewdfish]

dang... i'm sorry for your circumstance, being in the hospital is horrible especially with how they are treating you like u mentioned :(
Im sending virtual hugs over for u m8

Yeah, they never treat you well when they know you attempted to CTB. It's insane, this is like the moment when you most need support and they act like you don't matter at all. I just wanna go home :/

 

[krsm98]

Yeah, they never treat you well when they know you attempted to CTB. It's insane, this is like the moment when you most need support and they act like you don't matter at all. I just wanna go home :/

honestly thats just pretty bad, it sucks that after such an experience u have to deal with that and not being able to do much about it till discharged :(

 

[dewdfish]

honestly thats just pretty bad, it sucks that after such an experience u have to deal with that and not being able to do much about it till discharged :(

I'm alone in a shared infirmary with plenty of people. Have a heart monitor and everything beside me. This is so annoying… I genuinely feel a lot worse than I did before attempting :/

 

[krsm98]

I'm alone in a shared infirmary with plenty of people. Have a heart monitor and everything beside me. This is so annoying… I genuinely feel a lot worse than I did before attempting :/

man that honestly sucks :(
i remember when i had a similar experience (maybe not due to ctb) but regardless its always ass being there and with your context i can imagine how shit it must feel being there rn
all i can do is send u my support with hugs from here and hope that soon be able to leave there

 

[dewdfish]

man that honestly sucks :(
i remember when i had a similar experience (maybe not due to ctb) but regardless its always ass being there and with your context i can imagine how shit it must feel being there rn
all i can do is send u my support with hugs from here and hope that soon be able to leave there

Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. Yeah, once I'm out I will plan thoroughly the next one, I've got my SN as my backup anyways and just need to book a hotel and get it done with. It was unfortunate that my brother was home right as I was doing it

 

[krsm98]

Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. Yeah, once I'm out I will plan thoroughly the next one, I've got my SN as my backup anyways and just need to book a hotel and get it done with. It was unfortunate that my brother was home right as I was doing it

ofc man with pleasure
and i wish you the best man even if im quite new around here haha
i hope that with whatever happens, you are able to find peace and for all to go well :')

 

[Macedonian1987]

Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. Yeah, once I'm out I will plan thoroughly the next one, I've got my SN as my backup anyways and just need to book a hotel and get it done with. It was unfortunate that my brother was home right as I was doing it

This is why SN is my way of ctb. I tried hanging and no matter how hard i tried i couldnt pass the exploding head feeling, and there is a risk of me be found. With SN there isnt exploding head feeling and even if im found right away in Macedonian hospitals there is no antidote for SN.

Yeah, they never treat you well when they know you attempted to CTB. It's insane, this is like the moment when you most need support and they act like you don't matter at all. I just wanna go home :/

I wish i could teleport somehow and comfort you in these dificult moments

 

[dewdfish]

This is why SN is my way of ctb. I tried hanging and no matter how hard i tried i couldnt pass the exploding head feeling, and there is a risk of me be found. With SN there isnt exploding head feeling and even if im found right away in Macedonian hospitals there is no antidote for SN.

I wish i could teleport somehow and comfort you in these dificult moments

It was my main method but I've always been attracted to gorey stuff, so I didn't want to go out in a rather peaceful way, yk? My family is never home at the time that I tried yesterday, so I thought I was safe. It took me some time to kick the chair but once I did, I didn't feel anything at all, I lost consciousness, but apparently my brother came home earlier as he was dismissed from the rest of his classes yesterday, so that was really UNLUCKY.
A hug would be nice right now, I feel so small in this hospital, even the way they touch me to administer my benzos are quite rough and mean. I wish he just left me there, but he didn't and I hold some grudge on him now, though I know it was just his compassionate nature.

 

[pax420]

I hope you finally find pain free peace

 

[panhandle5363]

Sinto muito, espero que dê tudo certo com o SN!

 

[dewdfish]

Sinto muito, espero que dê tudo certo com o SN!

Muito obrigada, eu espero também. Espero que o que eu comprei aqui seja confiável ‍