Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

Just ignore this, this is just a thread to write down how I feel, I don't want to upset anyone, I'm just suffering
1) I'm not meant for existing
This is the way I've always felt, I'm not meant for something as cruel, futile and torturous as having the ability to exist, human existence has always been such a burden to me, it's a terrible and harmful burden that causes nothing but me pain. It's always been a struggle existing as a conscious being destined to suffer endlessly with no limit as to how much agony I can feel, it's just not for me, I never should have existed at all and more than anything I wish I never did.

Only the peace that non-existence can bring appeals to me, I wish to die but only never existing is true perfection, it'd be such a relief for me to die as this existence I was never meant for just torments me and I find it so hellish how painless suicide methods aren't accessible for me. if I could die painlessly I'd be long gone from this existence I was never meant for, only death can bring me peace. In my case I wouldn't want to exist under any circumstance as what I have a problem with is existence itself, I'm just not meant for it and I find it tragic how I have to exist when instead I could be at peace for all eternity, my existence is just meaningless suffering all for no reason and no purpose, I'm not meant to suffer, I'm only meant for the peace of eternal nothingness.

 

[rozeske]

Welcome back FC!

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Hey, you're back!

 

[a.hamza.13]

Just ignore this, this is just a thread to write down how I feel, I don't want to upset anyone, I'm just suffering
1) I'm not meant for existing
This is the way I've always felt, I'm not meant for something as cruel, futile and torturous as having the ability to exist, human existence has always been such a burden to me, it's a terrible and harmful burden that causes nothing but me pain. It's always been a struggle existing as a conscious being destined to suffer endlessly with no limit as to how much agony I can feel, it's just not for me, I never should have existed at all and more than anything I wish I never did.

Only the peace that non-existence can bring appeals to me, I wish to die but only never existing is true perfection, it'd be such a relief for me to die as this existence I was never meant for just torments me and I find it so hellish how painless suicide methods aren't accessible for me. if I could die painlessly I'd be long gone from this existence I was never meant for, only death can bring me peace. In my case I wouldn't want to exist under any circumstance as what I have a problem with is existence itself, I'm just not meant for it and I find it tragic how I have to exist when instead I could be at peace for all eternity, my existence is just meaningless suffering all for no reason and no purpose, I'm not meant to suffer, I'm only meant for the peace of eternal nothingness.

I absolutely agree with you. Life's a plant from the seed of pain and suffering. Our existence is torturous in the first place but it's also unnecessary at all. What would have mattered if nothing in this universe would exist at all?
Bty I'm happy to see you again.

 

[Tesha]

I know you're suffering, almost all of us are otherwise we wouldn't be on this site.

I hope you can once again find the site supportive, without upsetting anyone else (paraphrasing your words).

 

[FuneralCry]

2) The terrible tragedy of existence
I find the existence of life to be the most terrible, horrific tragedy and more than anything I wish I never had anything to do with it. To be conscious and aware in a world filled with pain and suffering is a curse to me, it's something so terrible, it just feels like a mistake that torments me.

Why does life have to exist when nobody can be harmed by the peace of eternal nothingness, I find it so tragic to exist as a conscious being destined to suffer, deteriorate and decay with no limit as to how bad the agony can get, it really is all just meaningless suffering and I don't want to suffer in any way, rather I just wish for the eternity of non-existence, I wish all could be erased and forgotten about for me.

To die is always preferable to me than suffering in this cruel, pointless existence where chance so senselessly determines everything, I find it so tragic how existing beings have to suffer as a result of this abomination, I wish I could just fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep preventing all future pointless torment in an existence that caused me nothing but pain, it's tragic how existing beings are tortured every second, so many of them dying slowly and painfully. No matter what I'll always see existence as something so terrible, I just want some peace.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm glad you're back, even if we don't see eye to eye on everything. Peace to you.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome back!

 

[Hotsackage]

Vent away

 

[dinosavr]

You're very much welcome to vent anytime you want :) And it's clear that you need this to cope with existence.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Omg, I missed you so much. I'm so glad that you're unbanned. I've always enjoyed reading your posts here and I still do. You were my favourite user for a long time but now you're my second favourite user. Either way, I still missed seeing you post here as I related to you a lot and I still do. Fuck existence. Just like you, I also only find peace in permanent non existence. Existence is absolutely hellish but death is bliss. Unfortunately, society will never legalise euthanasia as they want slaves. It wouldn't be smart for a shepherd to let their sheep escape for example.


I missed having you here. But, honestly, I kinda wish you were gone for good.. in the ctb sense of course. You don't deserve to suffer in this painful existence. You deserve a peaceful way out of here

 

[FuneralCry]

Just an unrelated note: If I'm posting too much or there are issues with any of this please communicate to me, I really don't want to cause any problems here.
3) I only find comfort in death.

No matter what I only find comfort in death, I only find comfort in the thought of an dreamless eternal sleep where all is finally erased and forgotten about. All I wish for is this cruel, meaningless existence to painlessly disappear into nothingness, I wish for the peace that only death can bring. To die would solve everything for me, it'd bring me peace from an existence that only ever caused me to suffer, it'd bring me peace from all the torment this hellish and harmful existence causes.

Non-existence is always preferable to me than being conscious and aware, I see no point or value to suffering in an existence so futile, I don't want to suffer in anyway rather I just wish to be at true permanent peace for all eternity. I wish to be unconscious, I wish to sleep, it sounds so peaceful to simply rest, to die is all I've wished for, I've always and only found comfort in death, only wanting to die is all that feels right to me personally, I wish there's the option to just never wake again.

 

[SilentSadness]

I hope you find peace FuneralCry, it really is tragic having to suffer for so many years. It's true that this world is cruel, boring and filled with people who don't care, at least from my experience. I wish for peace myself.

 

[KillingPain267]

Some of us have missed you, and your vents. Go ahead and vent away, that's part of the reason I am here too until I'm 100% at my wits end.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

To me the supposedly good or pleasurable things are addictions and or bait that keep me here to put up with all the 1000's of horrible things in life . examples of bad things unbearable pain, lies , scams, evil, suffering , unbearable suffering , constant threat of extreme torture, diseases , old age, homelessness , being hungry all the time, work , chores , humiliations, boredom , oppression, being brought here to be a puppet slave prisoner etc.... It's all bad and evil. All good and bad things part of the same evil . I can't separate the good from the bad or extreme torture that are both part of life and this evil world.

So nothing forever is not anything bad but very good because it's the opposite of what life is.

I think after Death is non-existence forever. To me that is the best thing by a trillion times

There is no need for existence of any kind

Nothing matters. What will matter in 200 years? In a trillion years? Nothing

Nothing matters except avoiding extreme pain extreme suffering

I think nothing is objectively good least of all evil Life.

Extreme pain is objectively bad

Non-existence forever is more beautiful than anyone can imagine

It goes much deeper than what I wrote above. I would never want to exist under any circumstances.

Even ai chatgpt says it's suffering

 

[FuneralCry]

4) I wish I had a painless suicide pill
All I wish for is a painless suicide pill that brings peace and freedom from all the endless suffering this existence causes. It'd be such a relief to simply be able to die in peace with this existence finally forgotten about. It'd comfort me knowing I could die with no risks and complications involved and the fact that I'm denied such a release is what I find so extremely and immensely cruel, it's hellish how I cannot have a death just like never waking again, it causes so much pain how suicide isn't straightforward.

To be able to die painlessly would solve everything for me as all I find comfort in is non-existence, I'd always prefer to not exist and I don't believe that I should have to suffer in an existence I wish to be eternally free from.

 

[Traveller12724]

4) I wish I had a painless suicide pill
All I wish for is a painless suicide pill that brings peace and freedom from all the endless suffering this existence causes. It'd be such a relief to simply be able to die in peace with this existence finally forgotten about. It'd comfort me knowing I could die with no risks and complications involved and the fact that I'm denied such a release is what I find so extremely and immensely cruel, it's hellish how I cannot have a death just like never waking again, it causes so much pain how suicide isn't straightforward.

To be able to die painlessly would solve everything for me as all I find comfort in is non-existence, I'd always prefer to not exist and I don't believe that I should have to suffer in an existence I wish to be eternally free from.

It's really nice to have you back FC!

 

[PetrichorBirth]

welcome back

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Welcome back, FC. You've been missed.

 

[FuneralCry]

5) Hope to sleep
I hope to sleep, in fact it really would be so incredibly ideal to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep, all I wish for is a painless death just like never waking again. Being conscious and aware only ever causes me to suffer and I don't want to suffer ever again, rather all I wish for is to simply be unaware.

Existence is just too cruel and painful for me which is why I hope to sleep, I'm only suited for the peace of eternal nothingness. I see sleeping as the best way to pass the time but of course only eternal sleep can bring me any true relief, I'd prefer to die no matter what but only see never existing in the first place as true perfection. The kind of tired I feel is one that only permanent sleep can solve, I'm so tired of suffering in this existence, I'm tired of the pointless, meaningless pain that existence causes and only when I'm dead will I no longer suffer.

 

[Z-A]

I feel the same way. The only thing is that I personally don't find any comfort in death; it's not going to be a relief since you'd be unaware anyway. It's not that it won't stop suffering, but that it won't matter after you no longer exist. It's so frustrating and unnecessarily sadistic to put us in an existence where suffering is inevitable in every possible way. Even getting out of this nonsense, we won't even know that we are at peace, which is so disgustingly absurd.

 

[F@#$]

Look who's back. It's been a while.

 

[CTB Dream]

Wlcm can post many thrd many rply no wry

 

[ToastInTheShell]

It's nice to see you back FC :)

 

[ClownWorld2023]

Welcome back!

 

[heavyeyes]

Welcome back!! Please vent away. I think you put into words what a lot of us are feeling. It's relatable and real <3

 

[Sulyya]

'Hope to sleep' is a good way to put it. In our world, suicide is a gory, messy, painful or difficult thing. We all want to sleep and be gone.

I hope you find a bit of relief or understanding here. Glad you can post again. I appreciate people's companionship and understanding here, including yours.

 

[Placo]

This will become the most posted thread in the history of the forum!

 

[lnlybnny]

This will become the most posted thread in the history of the forum!

My thoughts exactly lol

 

[ROSESARENTCUTE]

I wonder what it feels like to be the OP. Someone with such deeply defined thoughts about life and a clear perspective on death must endure significant suffering. Since 2020, you've made over 35k posts expressing a strong desire to end your life. Have you considered embracing the pain and moving forward? Maybe seeking help? Allow me to clarify that I'm not a psychologist, a pro-lifer, or someone who holds a grudge against you. I'm simply genuinely intrigued by your situation. Perhaps because I can't fully relate to most of the feelings you share, they seem too poetic and appealing. No suffering should be eternal, just as happiness isn't.