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creationisdeath

Specialist
Oct 20, 2018
359
Actually you can eat your own poop and be ok due to your body being use to your own gut bacteria. Unfortunately you can't eat someone else's without risking getting ill.
Unfortunately?

You guys are hilarious
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
Travel to North Korea and throw holy water on Kim Jong Un.
 
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Norest4thewicked

Norest4thewicked

Losing it
Nov 4, 2018
270
Tell some feminists that they look fat and you support Trump. That'll do it
 
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Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
Post some videos presenting yourself as a pro-life anti-suicide activist. After getting a following : live stream your suicide.

:pfff::pfff::pfff::pfff::pfff::ohh:-_-
 
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C

creationisdeath

Specialist
Oct 20, 2018
359
Join ISIS and blow up

(wait that might actually be an option. 'accidentally' blow up too early..)
 
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G

Goldie

Specialist
Sep 6, 2018
307
Goddamn. I'm an old fucking clueless dinosaur. Lol
It's ok I wouldn't expect anyone to know about git unless they were in the IT industry.

A git could also be what Rimmmer calls Lister ;)
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
Comitting suicide while doing a git commit.
I looked up "Git commit" and I think I must be too old or too tech unsavy because I couldn't follow the explanations!
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
I looked up "Git commit" and I think I must be too old or too tech unsavy because I couldn't follow the explanations!
sorry, I see I'm not the only geezer on here. Read your other explanations!
 
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S

Sadgirl19

Member
Jul 18, 2018
21
OP, your last one reminded me of a billboard I saw this past summer that made me laugh:
It was an anti suicide billboard, put up allllll over my city. It had a date for "suicide awareness/prevention" for August 25. I have PTSD and August 25 is a very,very, very "bad memory day". Every time I saw it I instantly became actively suicidal, but it also made me laugh just due to the irony.
"Girl with PTSD sees suicide prevention billboard posted all over city, with date posted which then triggers her suicide."
I'm already actively suicidal so posting it right now is whatever, but when I wasn't, seeing it would instantly put me in this mindset. Just funny to me. I burst out laughing nearly every time I saw it.
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
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OnlyMercy

OnlyMercy

No More
Oct 23, 2018
190
Ctb at an actual funeral or memorial service where family is present.

Leave a note along the lines "I tried my best to make this as convenient for everyone"
 
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C

creationisdeath

Specialist
Oct 20, 2018
359
OP, your last one reminded me of a billboard I saw this past summer that made me laugh:
It was an anti suicide billboard, put up allllll over my city. It had a date for "suicide awareness/prevention" for August 25. I have PTSD and August 25 is a very,very, very "bad memory day". Every time I saw it I instantly became actively suicidal, but it also made me laugh just due to the irony.
"Girl with PTSD sees suicide prevention billboard posted all over city, with date posted which then triggers her suicide."
I'm already actively suicidal so posting it right now is whatever, but when I wasn't, seeing it would instantly put me in this mindset. Just funny to me. I burst out laughing nearly every time I saw it.

Haha yes. These are all fake anyway. They're just trying to turn you into a useful slave. Pop some pills in, watch some "celebrities" and work until you die.
None of those really care about you as a person. You're just a paycheck.
 
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hikikomori

hikikomori

Attention whore and regular whore
Oct 23, 2018
209
laughing Gas asphyxiation,n, worldwar three, tipping a vending machine, methane asphyxiation, auroerotic asfixiation, emphasis on erotic, basically asphyxiation
 
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hikikomori

hikikomori

Attention whore and regular whore
Oct 23, 2018
209
gasses are funny
 
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hikikomori

hikikomori

Attention whore and regular whore
Oct 23, 2018
209
oh shoot yourself At a funeral or an nra meeting
become a shrink and do it at graduation or at some award thing
 
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hikikomori

hikikomori

Attention whore and regular whore
Oct 23, 2018
209
put some food ferrets like up your ass let the ferret up there and have him eat your insides until you're dead
no joke there's an actual thing of putting ferrets down your pants. it's called ferret legging. it started with poachers and now it's a thing. male genitalia have been shredded.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferret-legging
 
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Dead Meat

Dead Meat

DOOMED
Oct 10, 2018
18,395
Lock yourself in a room and listen to nothing but Barry manilow until you rip out your own skull.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,971
I'm a big fan of Volatile's idea of eating so much albacore tuna that you die of mercury poisoning. I would love to be found sprawled out with a million cans of tuna all over the floor and reeking of pussy. People would just be like "what... the... fuck... "
 
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Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
Actually you can eat your own poop and be ok due to your body being use to your own gut bacteria. Unfortunately you can't eat someone else's without risking getting ill.

Fuck! That is unfortunate. Just another reason to CTB.

;-;
 
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starcrossedfate

starcrossedfate

Passenger
Sep 24, 2018
240
Surfing (and getting eaten) in shark-infested waters, while you have headphones on playing the Pulp Fiction theme at full volume.
 
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Trashcan

Trashcan

Trash
Aug 31, 2018
1,234
@Volatile the master of funny methods
 
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G

Goldie

Specialist
Sep 6, 2018
307
Ctb at an actual funeral or memorial service where family is present.

Leave a note along the lines "I tried my best to make this as convenient for everyone"
Hahaahah very funny.
You could even try to pre-order the undertakers "whilst you are here guys... Would you mind getting an extra coffin and meet me here in 30 mins?"

If I was not living abroad right now I might actually consider something like this. I would love to ctb in some form of funny way. But as my Mum (only other person on my 'family') is not here it would be pointless to spend the effort to ctb in a funny way.

OP, your last one reminded me of a billboard I saw this past summer that made me laugh:
It was an anti suicide billboard, put up allllll over my city. It had a date for "suicide awareness/prevention" for August 25. I have PTSD and August 25 is a very,very, very "bad memory day". Every time I saw it I instantly became actively suicidal, but it also made me laugh just due to the irony.
"Girl with PTSD sees suicide prevention billboard posted all over city, with date posted which then triggers her suicide."
I'm already actively suicidal so posting it right now is whatever, but when I wasn't, seeing it would instantly put me in this mindset. Just funny to me. I burst out laughing nearly every time I saw it.
Yes I always hate things like that. It always reminds me of my unhappiness.
 
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Jai

Jai

Specialist
Sep 23, 2018
384
This is partially a joke thread - I'm not going to suggest anyone use a method discussed on this thread. I was thinking of what would literally be the funniest or most humouress way to ctb? A way that would be so weird it would make the news and the reporter would have to discipline themselves to not laugh at it.

The closest I can think of are:
  • Ctb at a comedy film premiere by smuggling in some laughing gas.
  • Ctb at an actual Exit International show in front of everyone. "this is boring I'm gonna do it now byeeee!"
  • Ctb at some sort of anti-suicide event.
Stand on a train track in a superman costume with your hand up in a confidant posture smiling
 
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Jai

Jai

Specialist
Sep 23, 2018
384
This is partially a joke thread - I'm not going to suggest anyone use a method discussed on this thread. I was thinking of what would literally be the funniest or most humouress way to ctb? A way that would be so weird it would make the news and the reporter would have to discipline themselves to not laugh at it.

The closest I can think of are:
  • Ctb at a comedy film premiere by smuggling in some laughing gas.
  • Ctb at an actual Exit International show in front of everyone. "this is boring I'm gonna do it now byeeee!"
  • Ctb at some sort of anti-suicide event.
Play Russian roulette solo with all chambers loaded
 
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F

Finallyhere

Student
Oct 30, 2018
139
Stay in a trash can on pickup day and get crushed by the compactor
 
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