Venting Fuck life and everything about it

[EmptyManForever]

Just like many of you I'm sick and tired of life, I hate breathing, the only time I feel okay is when I'm asleep but then I have to wake up from sleep and come back to the real world and face the bullshit in life, I hate living like this but I'm also scared to ctb, another reason I don't have the courage to ctb is because of my parents. They have been super supportive ever since they found out about my ctb attempt a while back, even though they were emotionally abusive in the past,after my ctb attempt they have been really supportive and I dont think I can ctb and cause them that pain , they may get traumatized if they found me dead ,and also survival instinct is a bitch and seems to save me in all my attempts which also sux, and my life is as miserable as it can get, the worst is the anhedonia I'm having, I cant seem to feel much pleasure from anything anymore, so I'm wondering how I'm gonna spend the rest of my life like this, as in when I say I cant feel pleasure I mean I cant even enjoy listening to music even like i used to, i cant even play my guitar anymore, and also my sex drive has also reduced and basically nothing makes me happy anymore, I've been living like this for about 3 years, and i dunno how to spend the days till i die one day doing nothing ,basically all I do is basic life stuff like eat and breath , that's about it, which gets boring sometimes, actually it gets boring all the time,I dunno why I was born to suffer like this, I also like many of you wish I never was born into this stupid world ,sooner or later I know I'll ctb or if I cant I'll have to spend the rest of my days doing absolutely nothing , all my life all I ever wanted was happiness but all I got was sadeness and depression, I atleast hope i find happiness in my next life , thank you for reading!

 

[Chemicalcastration20]

Just like many of you I'm sick and tired of life, I hate breathing, the only time I feel okay is when I'm asleep but then I have to wake up from sleep and come back to the real world and face the bullshit in life, I hate living like this but I'm also scared to ctb, another reason I don't have the courage to ctb is because of my parents. They have been super supportive ever since they found out about my ctb attempt a while back, even though they were emotionally abusive in the past,after my ctb attempt they have been really supportive and I dont think I can ctb and cause them that pain , they may get traumatized if they found me dead ,and also survival instinct is a bitch and seems to save me in all my attempts which also sux, and my life is as miserable as it can get, the worst is the anhedonia I'm having, I cant seem to feel much pleasure from anything anymore, so I'm wondering how I'm gonna spend the rest of my life like this, as in when I say I cant feel pleasure I mean I cant even enjoy listening to music even like i used to, i cant even play my guitar anymore, and also my sex drive has also reduced and basically nothing makes me happy anymore, I've been living like this for about 3 years, and i dunno how to spend the days till i die one day doing nothing ,basically all I do is basic life stuff like eat and breath , that's about it, which gets boring sometimes, actually it gets boring all the time,I dunno why I was born to suffer like this, I also like many of you wish I never was born into this stupid world ,sooner or later I know I'll ctb or if I cant I'll have to spend the rest of my days doing absolutely nothing , all my life all I ever wanted was happiness but all I got was sadeness and depression, I atleast hope i find happiness in my next life , thank you for reading

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way.. I feel exactly like this. Have you ever taken antidepressants by any chance?

 

[grungeCat]

I feel you 100%!! My parents were (mom is dead, only dad is alive) also very caring and supportive and I'm very sad I'm not the man they wish. Nothing really brings me joy and the rest of my family are very mean and abusive.

 

[WornOutLife]

I know what you mean! I love sleeping because we might dream, but at least we don't "exist" in this world for some hours.
Hope you find peace.

 

[Meditation guide]

I woke up this morning like I have every morning for five years feeling terribly sick physically. It's a feeling I can't even describe, but involves dizziness, stomach ache, pain everywhere, blurred vision, nausea, lead feeing in my arms and legs,
and for the past year internal tremors.

 

[EmptyManForever]

Have you ever taken antidepressants by any chance?

Yes and those psych drugs is the main reason why my life got ruined

 

[issyishere]

I know what you mean! I love sleeping because we might dream, but at least we don't "exist" in this world for some hours.
Hope you find peace.

I used to love sleeping but now I get nightmares can't have shit in life.

 

[demuic]

Life is only get worse everyday, the things I enjoyed before no longer give any happiness or contentment, I plan to leave ASAP.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I share in your indignation. It's frustrating that there's no simple quit option for the game of life, instead we have to smash the console if we want to stop playing. Pretty stupid design if you ask me.

 

[Algo5]

Yeah, I'm right with you in terms of sleep being the only peace I get from living a life I no longer want :(

 

[Life is pointless]

Man if ctb were easy alot of people would ctb and the government would freak out since theyre losing their tax slaves , so yeah to sum up life is meaningless suffer either u control(ctb) or either they control(blocking our ways to ctb)

 

[Chemicalcastration20]

Yes and those psych drugs is the main reason why my life got ruined

I'm so sorry.. I know exactly what you are going through.. Its pain beyond any description. I swear if I could get the people in charge of these pharma company's in one room.. I would be the only one walking out alive! No justice for us I am so fucking bitter.. To think I have to kill myself to end this pain from there crazy meds