fallingbehind
Passed down like folk songs
- Mar 22, 2025
- 145
My ctb date is coming closer and closer. I have been forcing myself to interact in my internship more often, even if I hate it.
I need to be normal when I jump, the area where Im choosing to jump has suicide patrol officers and book thumpers, so Im slowly trying to prep myself to look and appear "okay" before I do it, and since its been a few years since Ive talked with more than two people irl (family), Im not sure if its working or if people are just being polite. Im usually able to get away in these settings speaking to teachers/supervisors as Im able to talk about school easily, but personal conversations are hell to get through.
I feel shame when I talk to people, maybe its because I feel fake because I dislike them kind of inherently. How do people do this everyday lol.
I need to be normal when I jump, the area where Im choosing to jump has suicide patrol officers and book thumpers, so Im slowly trying to prep myself to look and appear "okay" before I do it, and since its been a few years since Ive talked with more than two people irl (family), Im not sure if its working or if people are just being polite. Im usually able to get away in these settings speaking to teachers/supervisors as Im able to talk about school easily, but personal conversations are hell to get through.
I feel shame when I talk to people, maybe its because I feel fake because I dislike them kind of inherently. How do people do this everyday lol.
