For their own ends

[darkenmydoorstep]

Do you ever feel like people just want to keep you alive for their own selfish reasons?
Unconnected with your personal happiness?

I know my son's dad wants me kept alive so he doesn't have to parent alone. So he can continue to get blitzed when he feels like it and not have to do the stuff he hates or can't do, like the bills and banking.

My son would probably want me kept alive so I can look after him, set his clothes out, take him to fun places. Give him stuff.

My mum just wouldn't want the suicide child story. Would piss on any other stories she ever told about me, surviving, doing alright, living in a nice town etc

And the man I love would probably like to keep me alive because he likes things I write as well as being able to torment me. Once I die the tables flip, I torment him.

And so they all have their reasons to try and keep me alive. Not one of them because I, ME enjoy life. And it's probably the same for most of you. Other people want you alive because you serve a function to them. That is all.

 

[SuicidalBoredom]

Same here, but I don't even serve a function. I'm a single male in my mid 30's and my mom would keep me alive just to simply see me alive and possibly finding a job again and creating a family etc. etc. She says she's happy just to see me alive but I'm disgusted by life.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Same here, but I don't even serve a function. I'm a single male in my mid 30's and my mom would keep me alive just to simply see me alive and possibly finding a job again and creating a family etc. etc. She says she's happy just to see me alive but I'm disgusted by life.

Like a vase in water. To look at.

 

[Forveleth]

That is why I am here. Forty years old and been living my life on everyone else's terms. The only time I got praise from my parents was when I made life choices that put me on a track that they wanted (college, career, etc). My partner manipulated me into sticking around so that he could keep getting housed and fed without being the person I needed him to be. None of them considered that it wasn't what I wanted and that their choices made my life so much worse.

Now I'm too empty to keep going so I'm here. I feel you.