Fly Me to the Moon -- Goodbye, my love.

[Time]

So here's my goodbye thread as promised!

My time is near and I would never leave without saying goodbye to all the lovely people I've encountered here. You have all been so sweet, kind, and supportive towards me. I've received such sweet messages from a few of you, and I've also made a few friends along the way... I've seen people come and go in such a short time frame. I've laughed, I've loved, and I have cried with you all.... With that being said, a sweet little angel had left me last month, @NeCkDeEp, throughout my journey on here. Let's take a moment to send her all of our love. May she finally be at peace. I told her as long as I am still here, I'll never forget her and I meant that. I also told her I'd being seeing her soon, and I meant that as well. So here's to you, my love. You are loved and you are missed.

I never expected to hold any sort of significance or meaning to this forum. I didn't expect to be loved, missed, or even cared about. I didn't expect to be a person a few of you looked forward to hearing from. I have never felt so loved until now... And it is all because of this community. Thank you so much for being a part of my journey, you have no idea how much this means to me. The time I've spent with you all means so much to me and I will always cherish it. I am very grateful to be spending my very final moments with you all... It's hard to feel alone when I'm surrounded by such kind souls, even given the circumstances that has brought us all here together. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

For those seeking recovery, may you all carry on with such stride and grace. I've seen so much progress that has been made by so many lovely members here and I am so proud of you. I will be cheering you on from the other side... For those seeking eternal sleep, may you finally obtain it. I wish everyone here a safe and peaceful journey, and may your final moments with us be filled with love. I'll save you the best spot on the bus!

May you all find peace in life and in death.
Thank you for loving and accepting me.
My heart is with you all, always. Please know that and please remember that. I'm sending you all of my love.


But with that being said, my departure isn't until Saturday at Midnight EST.
I will be keeping everyone updated until then, but thought creating a thread beforehand in case anyone wanted to say goodbye properly would be good to do.

For those curious, I'll be closely following Stan's SN guide, my regime is:

8:00 A.M. - 1 X 10mg Meto
4:00 P.M. - 1 X 10mg Meto
12:00 A.M. - 1 X 10mg Meto


8:00 A.M. - 1 X 10mg Meto
4:00 P.M. - 1 X 10mg Meto
4:00 P.M. - Begin fast
10:00 P.M. - Withdraw fluids
11:00 P.M. - 600mg of Ibuprofen - 800mg Gabapentin
11:15 P.M. - 3 X 10mg Meto
11:30 P.M. - 800mg Tagament
12:00 A.M. - SN drink - 25gms (One tablespoon) in 50 ml of plain water.

I'm doing an extra day of Meto to give my body time to adjust and in hopes it may lessen the chance of vomiting, but it's only for my own peace of mind.

Well said as always, Moon. Gonna miss your beautiful & insightful posts. They always touched me. It won't be the same here without you.

I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for this post to see you off. Much love to you & I hope that your transition is as peaceful as possible.

 

[WallsClosingInn]

I'v read many of you posts,and they are compassionate,kind and full of wisdom!You will obviously be very missed by everyone here. I wish you peace and end to your suffering

 

[TowerUpright]

Awesome post... I do wish people didn't have such crappy circumstances thrust on them.

Be at peace, sister.

 

[nitrogen]

Hello, my dear. Tonight's moon shines big and bright for you - from the San Francisco streets.

 

[Chronicillness]

Thank you for your continued kindness. I hope you achieve everlasting peace.

 

[Verklempt]

it's so sad to hear you go. it's like a small part of me is empty. we never spoke but i would always see you around, and you would reply to some of my threads. you're so sweet and nice, and very helpful. i hope you find your peace, take care love. -hugs-

 

[Nyanpasuu]

It sadness me to see you go, you've always show nothing but love and care in this forum. I will really miss having such a kind and loving person around.
Thanks for everything you've done and thanks for being you, hope your journey forward is peaceful and that everything goes as planned

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I don't know you but, your goodbye thread made me sad. Your posts have always been something I liked to read. May you have peace in whatever you decide to do.

 

[BabyYoda]

I wish you peace and I'll miss you

 

[GinaIsReady]

Best wishes. May everything go perfectly.

 

[JustVisiting]

@Moonicide I will miss you and your posts that are ALWAYS filled with so much love. And I will remember you this way.

 

[Moonicide]

Day 2 of taking Meto. No side effects to report.

Tomorrow will be the day I'll finally unpin my wings and fly like I was always meant to... But I won't lie and say I haven't shed a tear throughout the day so far. I've been making final arrangements. My urn finally arrived today too! I listened to the vinyl record my boyfriend bought me for Christmas. I've been giving my pet all the love and cuddles. I ate some delicious pizza... I was looking through my shoebox where I keep all the letters everyone has ever written to me. To remind myself I was loved and cared about, even if we weren't on speaking terms anymore. One box was dated 2007, and I wrote, "If anyone finds this box, it means I'm dead." It was really haunting reading that. As well as clearing out my old phones... Since I'm a very sentimental person and tend to keep memories. I found a note on my phone dating from 2014 with a list of suicide methods. It was a long time coming and digging through the things that had already collected dust had come back to life once again. I broke down crying when I found a letter my boyfriend wrote me when we first got together. He said he didn't know what loneliness felt like anymore thanks to me. How I was the sweetest and most caring girlfriend he ever had, and that he loved me... Fuck. I haven't spoken to him in almost a week, because I know if I hear his voice I'll break down. I can't have him stop me. That is not going to happen. I love him dearly, but I am ready to let him go now... It's all going to be okay. I look forward to tomorrow, even if there are tears being shed.

 

[Lotus1818]

Day 2 of taking Meto. No side effects to report.

Tomorrow will be the day I'll finally unpin my wings and fly like I was always meant to... But I won't lie and say I haven't shed a tear throughout the day so far. I've been making final arrangements. My urn finally arrived today too! I listened to the vinyl record my boyfriend bought me for Christmas. I've been giving my pet all the love and cuddles. I ate some delicious pizza... I was looking through my shoebox where I keep all the letters everyone has ever written to me. To remind myself I was loved and cared about, even if we weren't on speaking terms anymore. One box was dated 2007, and I wrote, "If anyone finds this box, it means I'm dead." It was really haunting reading that. As well as clearing out my old phones... Since I'm a very sentimental person and tend to keep memories. I found a note on my phone dating from 2014 with a list of suicide methods. It was a long time coming, and digging through the things that had already collected dust had come back to life once again. I broke down crying when I found a letter my boyfriend wrote me when we first got together. He said he didn't know what loneliness felt anymore thanks to me. How I was the sweetest and most caring girlfriend he ever had, and that he loved me... Fuck. I haven't spoken to him in almost a week, because I know if I hear his voice I'll break down. I can't have him stop me. That is not going to happen. I love him dearly, but I am ready to let him go now... It's all going to be okay. I look forward to tomorrow, even if there are tears being shed.

thanks for updating everyone. Good luck with the rest. We will all be here waiting for you

 

[lmroch]

​

 

[Moonicide]

I have been here for a short period of time but I have noticed and read how kind you are, I am really sorry that you had to go through the hardships you had to endure but I do hope you are able to find the peace you seek and are able to do so without major inconveniences... Wish you the best and would have been nice to meet under different circumstances but it was good to get to meet you

I wish we had met under different circumstances too, but I am glad to have met you, love. I have enjoyed conversing with you, and may you find the peace you seek.

We haven't spoken but I've seen you around and noticed what a kind soul you are. I'm sad to see you go. I'm sorry life brought you to this. I hope you'll find everything you seek on the other side. I'll be joining you the next day, so maybe we'll get to meet then.
And always remember it's ok to change your mind

I've seen around here as well, and you have been so helpful to the community. I can never thank you enough for the resources you've shared with me, and all of us as a community. I'll be saving a spot on the bus, until then...

thank you for talking to me moonie. im going to miss you allot. i really hope you will find your peace. ill be here for you untill then

You've been nothing, but a sweetheart and a true friend to me. I love you so much, please know that.

Your kindness in this community will be greatly missed. I might not be able to support you on d-day, but I will be sending you all my love as long as I can. I hope everything goes peacefully until Saturday and long after that.

You are now on the other side and I apologize for not being able to properly wish you farewell, but thank you for your kind words. I hope you're finally at peace. I'll be seeing you soon, love.

I'm so sad that you leave, Moonicide. You have cared for every tormented soul in this forum and spread love in every thread. You are my bipolar sister and I know your pain. Ever since I came here, you have shown your desire to embrace death, so I don't think there's anything I can say to you that can make you change your mind. I hope and know that you will sleep in peace among the stars.

I'm going to miss you too, love. I've seen you around here and you've always been so kind. While it's unfortunate we've had to battle the same illness, I am glad to have been your Bipolar sister. While it's comforting that we share the same pain, it also breaks my heart that we are both here. Thank you for your kind words. I'll try my best to keep the night sky bright for you... You are so loved.

You're such a sweetheart, you're an angel already. Will be sad to see you go, so many lovely people are going. May you be at peace.

That is one the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. You made me smile, thank you.

Once you reach the moon, go to the dark side, sneak up on the aliens who've been secretly residing there, throw a bomb made of sodium azide at them, hijack a UFO, fly at the speed of light to the God city galaxy, and be peaceful ever after. But I won't be as peaceful as you because I'll be missing you. Sooner or later, I'll ride a spaceship on SN fuel and see you then.

It's a date with the dark side! Aliens and all. I'll save you a sweet spot up in the night sky. There's more than enough room here for all of us to shine.

Awww. Moon. I am going to miss you. I'm here if you want to talk and will be here for you. May Stan's guide work for you, and I know he will be waiting for you.

I'm going to miss you too, love! I know how hard things have been for you lately due to losing one of the most important people in your life. But you are so strong and so brave to keep on living, even if you don't always feel like that's the case. You are such a loving soul and everyone here feels your warmth, Jean. You are lovable reaper and birdie!

You already know

Love you. I won't forget you... Please know that.

I never realized that I could miss and care about people I had never met, until I stumbled across this forum of beautiful souls.

You will be missed and loved and I am sending all positive energies your way moonicide!
if you need someone to talk to until your departure, I'm around.

I hope you have safe travels and enjoy the astrals <3
You deserve a mansion and a golden castle! *-*

You are such a sweetheart, thank you for your kind words. You will be missed and loved by me too, love... If I end up with a mansion, I'll definitely leave a trail of stars along with a big ol' sign telling you all to come and live the good life over on the other side!

You are a amazing person and the times we have spoken I really enjoyed...thank you for listening to me venting and always being there to talk. You will be very missed by me and alot of us here... I really do hope you find peace.....

Sending you extra and

And I have enjoyed conversing with you too, love. You've always been heard by me, and you are very deserving of all the love and support that is out there. I'll miss you too.

 

[Nem]

I'm sorry to read this, thanks for all of your generous support. Sending lots of love
Peace/hugs

 

[Moonicide]

Although we have had no direct contact, I believe I read every post you make and feel I do know you well.
No matter the horrors a thread may concern, you address the issue directly with kindness, sensitivity, love and compassion. I know the OP in each thread is permanently touched by you in a positive way, and even I feel more calm reading your loving postings. I support you entirely, but am a bit sad knowing we will be handing over our own beautiful soul, Moonicide, to another realm. I know, however, you will join the other SS dearly departed and do your work as a heavenly consoler to those left behind.

Thank you so much for your kind words, love. It means so much to know I provided you with a bit of peace with my words... I couldn't ask for more. This isn't goodbye, I'll see you later.

Thank you for coming. Thank you for allowing us to see such an amazing piece of the universe. You will forever live on inside us held up on a pedestal where you belong.

This made me almost cry... Thank you for coming as well, and staying here with me.

I wish you everlasting peace. Thank you for being so kind to me.I enjoyed talking to you. Your one of the most kind lovely people I have met here. Sending you love and hugs my friend. ❤

I have enjoyed talking to you too, love. I do wish we had more time together... Thank you for reaching out to me as I'm not usually good with approaching people. To know someone would reach out to me and say, "Hey, I really relate to you and your story. You're not alone." impacted me and made a huge difference during my time here. I'll never forget you. Sending you all of my love.

Hello Moonicide, we've never talked directly to each other, but I recognized you from a few discussions that we've been on. Your post made me tear up in this almost empty cafe that I am at. You're a beautiful person, and I will remember you as such. We'll eventually see each other on the moon thank you for all your posts on this forum.

Sending love and hugs,

Resting Girl

Aw, love. It means so much to me to know I was able to touch your heart with my words... You are a beautiful soul as well, and I will wait for you. Take it easy until then. We can rest together when the time comes.

@Moonicide
we've never talked directly, but I appreciate your presence here. Your posts were always kind, intelligent and with compassion. I'll wish you that your regimen works well and without any side effects. I hope the SS community is giving you as much as possible comfort and support as you need in your remaining time. You know it's always possible to change the mind. I don't know if I'm on at the time of your departure (if it is your ultimate choice) so now I send love and hugs to you. (sadly it could be the last possibility)

Please be careful with yourself.

Thank you, love. Providing everyone with love, support, and warmth until my time comes is all I've ever wanted. This community means so much to me. Thank you for telling me I have done my part. It means so much to hear that...

I won't be departing until tomorrow at midnight and will keep everyone updated until my very final moments.
Sending you all of my love as well.

I will miss seeing you around here. Even though we never talked, you were so sweet and commented on many of my posts. You have always made me feel loved and wanted, whether you know it or not. You will be missed, and, if you somehow decide not to go through with it, everyone will be here waiting for you, to welcome you back home. I hope you find peace, my love❤

And you have made me feel loved with your kind words in return. Thank you, love.

 

[Carina]

The more I read of your posts, the more I know I'm going to miss you here. Even now when you could just take time out for yourself, and just focus on you--you're still being kind to others, almost putting them first, even in your goodbye thread. But I know you're ready, and you'll find peace.

Wouldn't it be interesting if there was something after death, and the most caring and helpful who ctb just happened to be the people who helped others find peace as well. Because I'm sure you'd end up as one of them--being someone who would care for the dead. That meant as a good thing of course.

 

[Moonicide]

Oh Moonicide, you were one of the first people I noticed when I came here (well, when I came back). I immediately noticed how much of a kind, compassionate, diplomatic, intelligent, person you are. You have a soul that shines bright, and I am so glad that I got the chance to encounter you (even if it was only very briefly). Thank you for being you, seriously. You are so sweet. I will be at work when you board your rocket, so there's a chance I might miss your departure. I'm going to try to be able to check in, though. I wish you a tranquil journey amid the stars, and that your rocket ship sails smoothly to the moon. I have stargazing binoculars, I'll be keeping an eye out for you. Take care, and if you need anything we are always here.

Ahh, you're going to make me cry. Even if you may be at work and can't properly bid me farewell, I will not forget your kind words. I will take them with me. Thank you so much. I'll try my best to keep the sky bright for you until it's your time.

Hello, my dear. Tonight's moon shines big and bright for you - from the San Francisco streets.

Thank you for sharing the moon with me, love. I smiled so much... I'll be there soon!

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

I don't know why it seems that those with the deepest hearts... the ones that can really see all that is wrong in the world and could do so much good are always the ones who suffer the most? So many people leaving this life from a pain that can't be described. So many victims of the pharmaceutical industry, or simply have been disregarded and failed by doctors.

Maybe it takes the knowing of suffering and pain, to truly understand love and compassion. I don't know... I do know that you will be missed here, I do wish there was something I could do or say to bring you hope, to make you change your mind, but mostly I wish I could just magically remove your pain, and you could wake up tomorrow and never live another day with it.

I know sometimes, things can not be fixed but I truly hope you have exhausted all options. There are some really great natural treatment centers using non drug techniques like neurostimulation , amino acid treatment, hyperbaric therapy.

I would encourage you to try to hang on until you have exhausted all options. Also, if you are on meds i would do some research on their long term side effects, symptoms from tolerance and withdrawal symptoms.

Have you ruled out any physical cause of your problems? Things like : Thyroid problems, Lyme disease, Mold / Yeast toxicity, Heavy metal poisoning? Sorry to take up so much space on your goodbye post. I just always hope that everyone can somehow find am answer and get better...

It will be another sad day if you leave, and we will all miss you and remember you. I won't likely be on the site on your date. So if you do go. I wish you peace, whatever that may be.

 

[Moonicide]

The more I read of your posts, the more I know I'm going to miss you here. Even now when you could just take time out for yourself, and just focus on you--you're still being kind to others, almost putting them first, even in your goodbye thread. But I know you're ready, and you'll find peace.

Wouldn't it be interesting if there was something after death, and the most caring and helpful who ctb just happened to be the people who helped others find peace as well. Because I'm sure you'd end up as one of them--being someone who would care for the dead. That meant as a good thing of course.

You're such a sweetheart. I'll miss you too, love... My heart is here with you all. I can't just leave everyone behind without giving my love until the very end. You all mean so much to me, always. I would love to help others find peace if it's possible. If it exists, I'll patiently wait for their arrival and provide them with a lovely spot on the bus, especially you. Thank you.

I don't know why it seems that those with the deepest hearts... the ones that can really see all that is wrong in the world and could do so much good are always the ones who suffer the most? So many people leaving this life from a pain that can't be described. So many victims of the pharmaceutical industry, or simply have been disregarded and failed by doctors.

Maybe it takes the knowing of suffering and pain, to truly understand love and compassion. I don't know... I do know that you will be missed here, I do wish there was something I could do or say to bring you hope, to make you change your mind, but mostly I wish I could just magically remove your pain, and you could wake up tomorrow and never live another day with it.

I know sometimes, things can not be fixed but I truly hope you have exhausted all options. There are some really great natural treatment centers using non drug techniques like neurostimulation , amino acid treatment, hyperbaric therapy.

I would encourage you to try to hang on until you have exhausted all options. Also, if you are on meds i would do some research on their long term side effects, symptoms from tolerance and withdrawal symptoms.

Have you ruled out any physical cause of your problems? Things like : Thyroid problems, Lyme disease, Mold / Yeast toxicity, Heavy metal poisoning? Sorry to take up so much space on your goodbye post. I just always hope that everyone can somehow find am answer and get better...

It will be another sad day if you leave, and we will all miss you and remember you. I won't likely be on the site on your date. So if you do go. I wish you peace, whatever that may be to you.

I agree. I think the pain I had endured on this Earth is what ultimately helped me be able to really feel what others were feeling. While I wish I wasn't in pain or suffering throughout my life (or anyone for that matter), it is also what brought me closer to people that related. There was beauty in that, no matter how unfortunate the circumstances were. For example, I've found so much beauty in the community. You have all provided me with that and I will be taking it with me. In a way, I found love. And if I could, I'd take everyone's pain and suffering away in a heartbeat. I don't wish this on anyone... Thank you for your kind words, it means so much to me to know you'd do the same for me in return.

I have lived with mental illness for 15 years along with chronic ailments. I do deal with chronic fatigue as well as thyroid problems. The system has failed me, like many others here that have ctbed. I can only hope one day things will change and get better. I know it's a lot to hope for, but I'll keep on hoping and wishing for it... I'm currently on medication, but I checked for interactions and none came up. In fact, my mood stabilizer can benefit me as I take SN as my mood stabilizer also acts as an anticonvulsant. I also have sleeping meds, but think I might not take it given the fact I already have anxiety medication that mellows me out... I also live on Medicaid, so my insurance is really shitty and I can't do thorough tests without paying out of pocket. And that's nearly impossible when you live off of disability checks and food stamps. I've tried. I've had medication my doctor would like me to try be denied by my insurance, even if it's generic. It's just one of those things that can't be helped.

You will be missed and remembered by me.

 

[Bzrluvtriangle]

I wish you peace in whatever you decide to do.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

And if I could, I'd take everyone's pain and suffering away in a heartbeat. I don't wish this on anyone...

 

[Loner]

I wish you peace... and sending you all my love

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

Glad you will still be here Tonight. For the Wolf Moon

https://www.timeanddate.com/astronomy/moon/wolf.html

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Ahh, you're going to make me cry. Even if you may be at work and can't properly bid me farewell, I will not forget your kind words. I will take them with me. Thank you so much. I'll try my best to keep the sky bright for you until it's your time.

I teared up a bit just now, not gonna lie. I will be with you in spirit, even if I can't pull away. You're so very welcome, and thank you for taking them with you. You're going to do a great job keeping that sky bright, I just know it. I'll be sending my hellos to you when I gaze into the universe and stare at the moon. Sending you lots of hugs, good vibes, and love.

 

[hershberger]

We will be less without you, and forever in your debt. May you find the peace you deserve.

 

[MsMaudlin]

Sending you all my love, I hope your transition is a peaceful and gentle one.
Big hugs ♡

 

[zeroambition]

Sending love and hugs your way

 

[56709]

Farewell then, Moonicide. Hope I'll see you on the other side.

I never got to know you personally but your beautiful and relatable writing will be missed for the remainder of my days.
It's going to pain me seeing the line through your name.