Venting first post

[skinIMin]

Hi there,
I made my user today after a long consideration. I'm not sure why I haven't done so earlier since I've always lurked here alot, spent literally hours a day reading people's posts and relating to them. So yippee, I finally consider myself a member of ss!
I'm sorry if my rambles aren't understandable, english isn't my mother language. I just wanted to finally post here and possibly find likeminded people with same struggles as I do.

I'm currently on sick leave because of depression. This isn't the first time for me, since I've been struggling with mental health issues since I was a teenager (I'm 21 currently). My studies aren't progressing anywhere because I have no idea what I even want to do with life. I never thought I'd live this long if I'm being honest. I'm sure that many of you can relate to this, haha.
I'm a transguy but I have no access to hormone treatments - because of depression. The gender clinic here won't let you start hormone treatments if you aren't in a great place mentally. Sadly, this feels like an endless loop; depressed->no hormone treatments->even more depressed. I'm currently visiting a psychiatric clinic(?) and taking medication for my depression but nothing seems to work out for me. I'm tired and exhausted because of my
situation. I've been thinking, daydreaming almost about death, finding comfort in my own destruction. (I see people using the term ctb here alot, so please let me know if any words/terms I'm using are not allowed.) If I had no one, I would most likely do it. I think about harming myself daily and I believe it's a way for me to cope with my state. I have sh:d when I was a teenager but never attempted to ctb. If I were to do it, I would either use the night-night method or simply slt my wrists. Speaking of which, I've never seen anyone discuss of that method.
Is slitting your wrists a good way to go?
I think I'm starting to spiral into a more depressed state because of how my life is right now, though I'm happy to finally be part of this community. I can finally share my thoughts without being judged nor cencored. If you read my post this far, sorry and thank you. :D

 

[FuneralCry]

Slitting wrists is a self harm method rather than a suicide one, it has a less than 2% success rate so I don't really think it's recommended if one wishes to succeed in ctb, there is a reason as to why it's not included in the suicide resource compilation section. But anyway it does sound tiring being trapped in that situation, it's really true that life is just so unnecessarily cruel, I wish you the best.

 

[Asprex]

Welcome. For the q i don't think you're required to use any special terminology in this website but don't take my word for it since I'm not a veteran. Your situation seems really bad to be in. But its true that in order to receive hormones you must be in a great mental state because of the nature of the hormones themselves. Wish you the best and you can pm me if you want to talk about sh since i think about it a lot too.<3

 

[skinIMin]

Slitting wrists is a self harm method rather than a suicide one, it has a less than 2% success rate so I don't really think it's recommended if one wishes to succeed in ctb, there is a reason as to why it's not included in the suicide resource compilation section. But anyway it does sound tiring being trapped in that situation, it's really true that life is just so unnecessarily cruel, I wish you the best.

Thank you, it means alot.
All I know about the wrist slitting method is that you have to do it vertically and deep enough to reach the arterys. But very understandable if the success rate is less than 2%. Also ctb in such way would be very traumatizing for the people who would find your body.