letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
There's no contradiction, maybe my English , but whatever it's easy....
I only care about 1, because I already got 1, that means one more.
I already gave an advanced payment to the 16 year old, we agreed on 3 more, then later I changed my mind and say only 1, ( the one I'm missing)
Yeah, I know how hard it is to obtain N, I would even think it would be nice to make a give away, but then I thought I would get banned just for saying it.
Whatever , I'm going back "home" to my apartment... And I already began thinking how much I really hate my situation in life , I don't understand how people are happy with so much less than the things I have and I'm sure grateful for, but since 20 years ago I have had mental and personality issues and in the last 5 years I have manage to lose all the money I had , inherited and made by myself, and now I feel doomed with no money, no social ability, and I have been studying to become better at my job , technically and my boss said Friday to forget technical stuff to focus on theory rather practical knowledge... I just don't understand... With the money I lost I wouldn't need to be at a job from 8 to 6 and I can't avoid regretting and blaming and .... Damn...

I want to ctb because I really struggle going through the normal things in life , damn I can't believe I already found N
Owning it really makes me think on the alternative... Is it possible to live the life I have and be happy? I have 20 years with medications, psychs, ETC therapy, depression, anger issues, fuck.
i feel you, i have the same situation, plus my parents blame me for everything.. they hate me. i just wanna end my life
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deleted member 4993, Deafsn0w and dandan
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
i feel you, i have the same situation, plus my parents blame me for everything.. they hate me. i just wanna end my life


I have a healthy brother, living an awesome life, and I really like that... except the part where he blames me for my situation ... even when I have been asking for help and saying theres something wrong with me since my teens, he still blames me, I hate that sometimes... I have the fact that now I live to work in an office from 8 to 6 and find no way out... im trying to love my work but it ait working like that... life has not much of joyful things to make it worth, but im still here... damm.. I feel you ... more or less the same?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deafsn0w, Whatshername, J.E. Morrow and 1 other person
GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2019
1,621
After months of trying to obtain N, I finally found 1 veterinarian shop; where the 16 year old clerk has told me I can go and pick up the bottle, (cause we exchanged whatsapps) the bottle, in singular , because they only had 1 in stock, isn't it ironic? Don't you think?

PS. I already picked it up.
Congratulations, welcome to the club.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deafsn0w
letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
I have a healthy brother, living an awesome life, and I really like that... except the part where he blames me for my situation ... even when I have been asking for help and saying theres something wrong with me since my teens, he still blames me, I hate that sometimes... I have the fact that now I live to work in an office from 8 to 6 and find no way out... im trying to love my work but it ait working like that... life has not much of joyful things to make it worth, but im still here... damm.. I feel you ... more or less the same?
they treat me like shit, and my two brothers too. i can't look at other people, how they are happy and how they love each other.. i don't feel anything i'm so broken. anyway i'm glad you obtained N i wish you all the best with it. hopefully i'll do the same soon
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deafsn0w
ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Arcanist
Nov 22, 2018
846
Good luck @dandan. Sorry your here/ in the situation. Since you are already putting in the effort, be sure to get metoclopramide.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w and dandan
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
they treat me like shit, and my two brothers too. i can't look at other people, how they are happy and how they love each other.. i don't feel anything i'm so broken. anyway i'm glad you obtained N i wish you all the best with it. hopefully i'll do the same soon
thansk for the good luck and wishes.... I just want to have my N , because I really feel life is no longer worth it.. like you said, feeling broken and such... but I also dont want too, you know, its .... I dunno, I've tried to ctb more than once without success, but this N is no gesture, this seems that is for real...

what I really hate ,,, is that I have had problems since my early teens... fine, I was learning to live with my antisocial skills....
but when due to some circumstances and situations and mental issues, I lost the chance to profit more than a couple million dollars... I fucked it up... and fuck that shit is eating me alive, because I could be an antisocial, but I could at least be independent.. now I have some social issues plus im poor... damm, that shit sucks, because if I hadnt fucked it up, at the very least I would have had 2million usd... damm
Good luck @dandan. Sorry your here/ in the situation. Since you are already putting in the effort, be sure to get metoclopramide.
first I'll get that second bottle, and sure this is on my pending list, at least I know I can forge a prescription, I've done it many times before, sure I'll find a way to get metoclopramide, just to have the stack with me, to feel safe and that I can ctb any day I want.. thanks
 
  • Like
Reactions: wishfulthinking and Deafsn0w
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Good luck @dandan. Sorry your here/ in the situation. Since you are already putting in the effort, be sure to get metoclopramide.
Metoclopramide was the easiest and cheapest thing to obtain, wish other things in life were as easy as this
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deleted member 4993
Deivis

Deivis

Seul contre tous
Jul 23, 2018
235
"Pics or it didn't happen" (c)

Send a picture of the bottle or the storefront to some trusted members here (admins or veterans).
That would be very kind of you.
 
N

Nitromask

Specialist
Feb 18, 2019
324
"Pics or it didn't happen" (c)

Send a picture of the bottle or the storefront to some trusted members here (admins or veterans).
That would be very kind of you.
He posted them already
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deivis, Deleted member 4993, dandan and 1 other person
PeacePlease

PeacePlease

A wandering body without a heart
Feb 26, 2019
49
How do you convince a clerk to sell you N. I have been thinking of going N searching., my country is not so strict with prescriptions. But I have poor social skills and wouldn't know how to even start this kind of conversation.
 
N

Nitromask

Specialist
Feb 18, 2019
324
How do you convince a clerk to sell you N. I have been thinking of going N searching., my country is not so strict with prescriptions. But I have poor social skills and wouldn't know how to even start this kind of conversation.
This is just a guess, but: wave a $100 (or equivalent...1,000-2,000 peso?) bill in their face
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: PeacePlease
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
How do you convince a clerk to sell you N. I have been thinking of going N searching., my country is not so strict with prescriptions. But I have poor social skills and wouldn't know how to even start this kind of conversation.

I thought about this myself, before doing it, but when I reach the first vet shop, I thought "well I traveled some hours just to get here, im not going to not ask". So I approached in, casually, with a nice attitude that I can pretend to have, and I saw the 16 year old boy. So I say hi, and I ask for "penta-hypnol". He knodded his head, thinking, and said "no". I just couldn´t believe. So I had to ask again, and I said "are you sure?, it's pentobarbital-sodico" and the young boy said "No", again. They had some chickens, rabbit, and I can see some dog houses in a corridor. I thought the boy wasn't understanding me.
I look at all the medicines behind him, and I said, "are you sure, its a common thing, its used to put to sleep some old dogs", and I saw 1 bottle in the tray behind him, and while I pointed at it, he said, "oh yes, we have this, but I dont know if I can sell it, because we could use it, and we only have 1, I'll have to make a call."

He did made a call and got no response. So I stayed there like 20 minutes hoping he gets a callback, and hoping he can give me his number, so if I leave the town, I could always offer some money for him to get me some.... I did got his phone number. He asked me what I wanted it for... I said my uncle had a ranch and 8 old dogs, 1 which is really suffering and we would put to sleep.

Im actually good acting and performing with strangers, I dont know why...

in short words I did not had to "convince" him to sell me N.... I just asked him nicely to do so... So time was going on, and I was starting to think I already got his phone number I should leave and dont look so desperate.... I knew I would be back in a couple weeks or so...


So I said I would be around town for the weekend, and if he gets the phonecall back if he could please whatsapp me so I can come back and pick up the bottle.

I left the store... and half hour later or less... .he texted me, I could come by and purchase the bottle.

I returned, got the bottle and told him I needed 1 more... he ask me if 1 was enough, I then said 3.... he asked me to give some money in advance because then they have to pay for it and if I didnt pick it up... well its their money... so sure I left some money in advanced and tip him with $25... he said I was a very generous man, I told him "No, im thankful, because in other vetshops they have asked me for a prescription, and I was thankful he didnt" , he didnt mind...

we shook hands, and he ask me when I was coming back for the bottle, I said next sunday or in 15 days... he said that was okay, he will text me when he has news with the supplier and when the bottle arrives...

it was easier than I thought....

but I have visited around 20 vet shops total, I have a little practice asking for N and saying the same story... even asking like a little child saying "please" or asking if they know a "vet who can sell me or give me a prescription"
 
  • Like
Reactions: alfie and Johnnythefox
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Hey @dandan, I'm curious why you edited your message where it said you would buy a third and a fourth bottle for someone else? Thankfully @vool quoted your post where it is still visible.

The day I said that I was happy and grateful for finding N, maybe I shouldn't have said that, I dunno if I do something like that I'd get kicked out, I could keep my word :)
I'm processing the fact that you are gone now.
Rest in peace Jupiter

I'd got my second bottle today
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deleted member 4993, Johnnythefox and N-IsMyHope

Similar threads

N
Replies
6
Views
307
Offtopic
noname223
N
AbyssalAlien
Replies
5
Views
241
Suicide Discussion
rhiino
rhiino
gonegal95
Replies
7
Views
585
Suicide Discussion
ctb_warrior
ctb_warrior
lonesomedrifter
Replies
10
Views
357
Suicide Discussion
Rudeus_Greyrat
Rudeus_Greyrat