Fighting and Sacrificing for a future that will simply never come

[sanction]

Sometimes I think about all the past memories and different experiences from the past few decades, including childhood

They all seem so distant and meaningless now. It's like what did all those previous efforts and moments really mean in the end?? Basically nothing

I've spent so many years trying to build a better future, always sacrificing and fighting, hoping it would one day finally pay off. But life is just an endless one problem after another. Problems just never fail to find their way to you

It's like we're constantly investing so much effort and building towards a future that will simply never come in the end. Just a fantasy and illusion after-all

Life is a tiring journey

 

[Hollowman]

A pointless journey to nowhere.

 

[sanction]

A pointless journey to nowhere.

Just chasing this endless fantasy of a better life

While in the process getting beaten down and drained. Even by the time you finally "get there" many years or decades later, it's already not the same anymore, and totally different reality

In the very end, just left with a broken heart and empty soul, despite all the hard work and best intentions

 

[Michi_Violeta]

Sometimes I think about all the past memories and different experiences from the past few decades, including childhood

They all seem so distant and meaningless now. It's like what did all those previous efforts and moments really mean in the end?? Basically nothing

I've spent so many years trying to build a better future, always sacrificing and fighting, hoping it would one day finally pay off. But life is just an endless one problem after another. Problems just never fail to find their way to you

It's like we're constantly investing so much effort and building towards a future that will simply never come in the end. Just a fantasy and illusion after-all

Life is a tiring journey

That's exactly how it feels. And people tell you it gets better, that it all goes away, but why? Why if it all comes back full circle and nothing stays and nothing works and not matter how much fucking effort you put into things they go to hell and there's nothing you can do about it? It's all pointless, it feels like you're forced to be here, to accept everything, to surrender any type of agency unless you walk the line of shiny happy people willing to fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and just say "Oh, that's life, it's beautiful!"

Fuck this. Fuck this so much.

 

[sanction]

That's exactly how it feels. And people tell you it gets better, that it all goes away, but why? Why if it all comes back full circle and nothing stays and nothing works and not matter how much fucking effort you put into things they go to hell and there's nothing you can do about it? It's all pointless, it feels like you're forced to be here, to accept everything, to surrender any type of agency unless you walk the line of shiny happy people willing to fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up and just say "Oh, that's life, it's beautiful!"

Fuck this. Fuck this so much.

Totally agree. So not worth it in the end

Just a complete pain in the fucking ass experience, for the sake of nothing after all this sacrifice

 

[TheLastGreySky]

Sometimes I think about all the past memories and different experiences from the past few decades, including childhood

They all seem so distant and meaningless now. It's like what did all those previous efforts and moments really mean in the end?? Basically nothing

I've spent so many years trying to build a better future, always sacrificing and fighting, hoping it would one day finally pay off. But life is just an endless one problem after another. Problems just never fail to find their way to you

It's like we're constantly investing so much effort and building towards a future that will simply never come in the end. Just a fantasy and illusion after-all

Life is a tiring journey

I lost my whole world enough times to know that really, the only thing you can do is stop having hobbies. Stop having dreams. Fall in love with your imagination. Everything we build with our hands is only temporary. So I can't really tell you if it's worth it. Making my kids was the greatest thing I ever did just to have my ex play the victim and take them for me... And then she lost them and because of the record I now have and she's trying to add on to... They don't want to give me a fighting chance for them.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel this so much. Often my mind will start jumping around to various points in life. A moment hating my job in retail (which I did for 10 years,) all the times I trudged out for interviews, skills tests, training, just general work. All the times I felt exhausted or stressed. The times I screwed up and felt terrible. The multiple times I moved for jobs. All the packing and unpacking, changing bill providers. All the paperwork. All that effort.

I just feel like so much of it has been shit and- for what? To sustain a life I'd much rather not have been given to begin with! I spend so much of my time feeling resentful these days. Still, I know all I can do is trudge on towards the end.

 

[kimcoffee_]

Its all point less in the end really

 

[sanction]

I feel this so much. Often my mind will start jumping around to various points in life. A moment hating my job in retail (which I did for 10 years,) all the times I trudged out for interviews, skills tests, training, just general work. All the times I felt exhausted or stressed. The times I screwed up and felt terrible. The multiple times I moved for jobs. All the packing and unpacking, changing bill providers. All the paperwork. All that effort.

I just feel like so much of it has been shit and- for what? To sustain a life I'd much rather not have been given to begin with! I spend so much of my time feeling resentful these days. Still, I know all I can do is trudge on towards the end.

I worked in retail before too. And yes, life is simply not worth all the struggle. I've moved endless times as well

I won't be surprised that whatever so called happiness or joy we've experienced, has already peaked and is behind us

At this point, it's only downhill from here. Sure, we can lie to ourselves, take drugs or get drunk to force ourselves through the next few decades, and constantly distract ourselves with random hobbies / activities that don't fulfill us, just to pass time

But unfortunately, even being miserable in this world cost money. It is not free to stay alive. We need to keep working our asses off non-stop the next few decades just to pay bills, so we don't starve or end up homeless. Our health will eventually decline as well

Therefore, there is simply not enough reasons to keep prolonging this unnecessary and pointless suffering

Nothing but a worthless and headache journey. It's torture

 

[lawlietsph]

The saddest thing is that my dreams are not even that big.
I want to live on a very tiny property in my tiny mobile house. I want a garden where I produce my own food, and have some chickens and other animals maybe. That's literally it.
It shouldn't be this hard.
This is not such a big dream, yet seems absolutely unreachable.

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,
Somehow this is the zeitgeist in other threads, and as much as I'm now old enough to get the next generation blaming me for it occasionally, since OWS it has been fucked.

In fairness, from the neighborhood, by OWS the outcome was either networking into a finance or speaking gig sort of job, drifting off into the communal living circuit that was probably nicer then but apparently naturally became trap/tweak houses through the operation of various aspects of society, or just ending up with a court case and the expenses for being part of the then possible peaceful protest herd.

Honestly it's tragic that leftism is all wrapped up in "Palestine" now as the core tenets of Islam and particularly that kind of Islam really aren't very peaceful or that great for peaceful living. (In fairness it does try to assume humanity is a brotherhood in a struggle, while Judaism tends to assume humanity is an endless possibly civil argument, but oh well. As with other kvetches about authority, the brotherhood of struggle thing sounds sort of reasonable until it targets you.)

I'd be happy if we could just get back to "Marx did a bunch of math on how to make sure the workers don't starve to death," because that's sometimes inscrutable but the social aspects that seemed important in his day overshadowed that he did the math with Engels on what the workers in any economy need to not starve to death.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

The saddest thing is that my dreams are not even that big.
I want to live on a very tiny property in my tiny mobile house. I want a garden where I produce my own food, and have some chickens and other animals maybe. That's literally it.
It shouldn't be this hard.
This is not such a big dream, yet seems absolutely unreachable.

I know the feeling, it's soul-crushing. I don't want to change the world or be F1 world champion, I don't want to be head of language services at the UN or have three PhDs. I only wanted someone to love and who loved me, a cheap racecar and a dignified job to support both. That's it.

And I was working towards that. I did a bachelor's, learned two languages, did several additional courses, a master's abroad, written hundreds of online articles, spent countless late nights at the shop and the track, took every chance at love that came my way, worked on myself, learned from my mistakes, postponed my suicide and got back on my feet after every serback. And I had her and I tried to have the rest and then life took it all away just fucking because. 9 years working towards these goals only for my dreams to end in loneliness and defeat...

 

[Kbeau]

Sometimes I think about all the past memories and different experiences from the past few decades, including childhood

They all seem so distant and meaningless now. It's like what did all those previous efforts and moments really mean in the end?? Basically nothing

I've spent so many years trying to build a better future, always sacrificing and fighting, hoping it would one day finally pay off. But life is just an endless one problem after another. Problems just never fail to find their way to you

It's like we're constantly investing so much effort and building towards a future that will simply never come in the end. Just a fantasy and illusion after-all

Life is a tiring journey

I'm with you, and, in the end, everyone dies anyway. Is it better to be hit by a drunk driver? Have a stroke or heart attack? Have cancer eat you to the bone? Lose a foot or eyesight to diabetes and live miserably disabled? Like, what is the goal? Die peacefully in your sleep, good luck waiting it out and the slim chance that actually happens