Story felt like i almost died.

[eyenumbing]

wasn't even trying to ctb. blacked out at work and my heart rate wouldn't go down. i clocked out early and went to the ER. my heart was beating at 200 bpm and it took them over an hour to get my heart rate to go back down. in that moment, i wanted to die so bad. i wish i died. i laughed at the nurses face when she basically choked me to get my heart rate to slow down. i felt so pathetic. i was alone in that room for over 30 minutes just monitoring my vitals. i really wish i had died today. i hate the life that i am living.

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

wasn't even trying to ctb. blacked out at work and my heart rate wouldn't go down. i clocked out early and went to the ER. my heart was beating at 200 bpm and it took them over an hour to get my heart rate to go back down. in that moment, i wanted to die so bad. i wish i died. i laughed at the nurses face when she basically choked me to get my heart rate to slow down. i felt so pathetic. i was alone in that room for over 30 minutes just monitoring my vitals. i really wish i had died today. i hate the life that i am living.

That sounds terrifying. I am sorry that happened and that life continues to be so hard.

I had a semi-similar experience when I tried to donate plasma a few years ago. BP went down to 60/40, and I apparently stopped breathing for a while. EMS came to the center after I woke up, and I couldn't even sit up and still breathe, so to the hospital I went. Apparently I have this fun thing called "vasovagal syncope". I was mostly in shock, but a part of me was like "Well, the folk at the donation center said there was a marginal chance of death...guess I wasn't quite so lucky" (I was donating plasma largely because I desperately NEEDED money at the time, and then the hospital bill cost more than I made from the donation. Le sigh).