Venting Feels like it's getting closer

[cps7373]

Hi all. I've checked the forum out for a while, but was too chicken to post, but the feeling is overwhelming these days and I needed to let it out. I'm 46, but feel 86. I used to bodybuild and powerlift. I loved them deeply. It really was a passion. That was until the injuries started piling up. One was really bad. Fell 12 feet to concrete at work. Broke 7 ribs, lacerated my spleen. The body hasn't been right since. That's not even counting all the issues in my lower spine and now I might have heart failure developing. Not married, no kids, family is spread across the country, and not wanting to date anymore because a relationship wouldn't be fair. I've got a good job and make really good money, but it's all hollow. I don't know if I can or want to keep pushing. I don't want whatever is left of me to just be a wage slave and my physical ailments won't ever improve. This world has nothing I want or need. I've done all the therapy and mess, but it felt like I was just talking to the wall. I'm just tired of being in chronic pain all the time. The world isn't meant for me. I'm glad I found this place because it really does seem like anyone not dealing with stuff can never understand what you're going through. Thank you very much if you read everything and thank you for listening.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so tired, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I also feel so tired of it all. But anyway I wish you the best.