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Venting feelings of ctb on birthday

cowboydan

cowboydan

Poor You.
Jan 30, 2025
12
My girlfriend was excited for my birthday but I can't help but feel hopeless. I'm trying to put on a face for her but I'm wondering why I came this far. My family are highly abusive as well and kept berating me throughout the entire day, making me wonder what's the point of my birthday. Why should I be celebrating being alive when all I feel is worthlessness? This is amplified by my family being awful as well. I feel stupid for feeling these things but my minds just wanders to wanting to ctb. I'm 19 yet I'm so hopeless about my future.
 
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