feeling suffocated... i'm scared i won't be able to ctb in the last minute

[lnlybnny]

I'm so scared of planning everything, buying my SN kit and then realizing I'm not able to do the act. I feel so suffocated by my own life and my neetdom, I completely despise everyone around me, I despise humans and their actions, ideas, dreams, small talks...

But I have some ''things'' I wish I could stick around for. I'm such a pathetic coward because I lack motivation and energy to do what needs to be done in order to stay. I'm actually starting to cry as I type this.

 

[BecomingDiamond]

I'm in the same predicament, it's like a cycle going on and on and the only thing I feel is frustrations, I want to end it all but damnit all. I hope you find peace <3

 

[AbsentMindedHuman]

I don't think you are pathetic for being afraid of death. Its normal. I have attempted 4 times and I felt like that every time and regretted not be able to every time after. I consider this myself sometimes, but maybe its not your time to go. Im not trying to persuade you but it seems like you are forcing it and maybe you need to take care of some things first. I have found so much relief in letting go of things, following a bucket list. We as a society have made it hard for people like us to die with dignity, and so this is what we are left with.

Im sorry you are struggling and I wish you the best.