anxiety will kill me

[GASLIGHTER7000]

my anxiety is destroying me. as the years have past it's only gotten worse and worse. my anxiety is part of the reason i've lost most of my friends and struggle to go outside. i cry so much over the thought of what my life has become, doing anything to avoid stressful situations. when i'm put into a situation that is unfamiliar or stressful, i freeze up and start crying. i hate how sensitive i am--- sometimes i think i'd rather commit suicide than struggle in life. i lie in bed crying so often, thinking about all the painful things that will be in my future. i don't know how to explain it, but i feel like this long term stress i've made me dumber as well. i can't write as eloquently as i used to, i used to be able to write for hours and loved my work, and now i can't. i also drew, and i've let go of that too. i was so proud of myself and my abilities, and now i feel like a shell of a person, lacking any of the old talent and passion that she used to have. i go through everyday thinking about past and dreading the future. i feel suffocated in my own body. i keep thinking, if i just kill myself i'll never have to suffer again. all it would take is a bit of courage and it could all be over. i'm not afraid of the nothingness that comes after death, i'm afraid of the process of it. i'm scared the pain will be excruciating, but maybe a second of pain is worth it.

 

[itsgone2]

Anxiety taking a toll here too. I look different. Not healthy. It's shortening my life. I was so careful. Eat well. No drugs. Always looking for improvement.
Yet here we are. A heart attack would be a blessing

 

[InsomniacPhantom]

i don't know how to explain it, but i feel like this long term stress i've made me dumber as well. i can't write as eloquently as i used to, i used to be able to write for hours and loved my work, and now i can't. i also drew, and i've let go of that too. i was so proud of myself and my abilities, and now i feel like a shell of a person, lacking any of the old talent and passion that she used to have. i go through everyday thinking about past and dreading the future.

So damn real. Suffering from anxiety is like being mutilated. I feel either suffocated by thoughts or profoundly empty, I don't know what's worse.
Anxiety has ruined my life, it ruined my friendships and relationships, destroyed all my passions, keeps me awake at night, and keeps me from leaving the house. I can't stop shaking.

 

[Cunanan77]

You should try medication i was on benzos 4 years quit relapsed another year on benzos now I quit since Thursday

I won't lie im in hell and im on a beta blocker an ssri and antipsychotics, it still doesn't help my anxiety.

Benzos helped even staying on a regular dose but you can't take them forever, sadly other meds don't seem to work for me.

Anxiety is the worst affliction

 

[MMOSTHATED]

wow I relate so much to everything u said. Literally me

 

[TheBag]

Me too, and it's very hard to explain to "normal" people. My OCD and general anxiety disorder has made me a lifetime Zolpidem and Oxazepam user.
Sadly, is does not get better with age...

 

[charlavail]

gabapentin helped me but i had bad side effects with my memory and speech however that is a rare side effect. i know other people who take it and it's helped with their anxiety. i also didn't feel anything on buspirone but i know people who it does wonders for. i've done genetic testing i just have a really hard time metabolizing a lot of meds correctly so don't take my experience on these meds as what could be yours.

 

[unluckysadness]

Anxiety literally ruined my life too (you cannot imagine the level of anxiety I have - insane). I'm 43 now and I think i'ts going worse and worse with aging.
I have multiple severe health issues but severe anxiety is probably the first reason why I'm suicidal.

 

[G50]

I experienced amazing relief from anxiety using the supplement N-acetyl glucosamine, as detailed here:

 

[twistedtransistor47]

I'm in the exact same boat right now. I can't believe I let it get this bad and yet I don't care enough to try and improve it. I feel so sensitive and useless and scared of everything. Trying to explain this just gets a response of "Oh you just have to put yourself out there! Just don't care what other people think!" I wish it was that easy. I don't want to bother anymore, I just want everything to be over.