Venting Feeling like there's nothing out there for me

[iamheresoareyou]

Hi, it's my first post here. I feel blessed to have found this forum.
I've been falling asleep crying for the last few months. I also noticed that my suicidal thoughts became daily.
I just get this lingering feeling of dread, like there's nothing in the future, that nobody will ever love me.
I feel broken by my ex, he only reinforced my low self-esteem and made me feel like I was a walking bag of trash.
I see the herpes blisters forming inside my mouth and it makes me want to cry. I know people say it's nothing serious, but knowing what person who gave it to me...I feel dirty and disgusting. It makes me want to die.
I don't feel good enough for anyone, let alone in this state.

 

[Unending]

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. Personally, relationships have always caused me extreme anguish when they don't work out, not to mention how past partners can leave lasting pain with you. I have a lot of empathy for what you're going through and hope something better happens for you. <3

 

[Pluto]

It sounds like you might have been through narcissistic abuse. I went through it with my family and have struggled to ever trust again. I also feel like the dream of experiencing love won't ever happen from this point. Still, it can be helpful to try and process what has happened though. You might make more progress.

How to Find a Narcissistic Abuse Support Group

Seeking help is the first step to healing from narcissistic abuse. Read on to learn how you can find a narcissistic abuse support group.

www.verywellmind.com

 

[makethepainstop]

Hi, it's my first post here. I feel blessed to have found this forum.
I've been falling asleep crying for the last few months. I also noticed that my suicidal thoughts became daily.
I just get this lingering feeling of dread, like there's nothing in the future, that nobody will ever love me.
I feel broken by my ex, he only reinforced my low self-esteem and made me feel like I was a walking bag of trash.
I see the herpes blisters forming inside my mouth and it makes me want to cry. I know people say it's nothing serious, but knowing what person who gave it to me...I feel dirty and disgusting. It makes me want to die.
I don't feel good enough for aunyone, let alone in this state.

Alright, now take a full deep breath, release it slowly, relax. Your health issue is not life threatening, merely annoying. You had to meet your ex first, for him to become an ex. You shall meet another dude, fortunately half the population is that wonderful breed known as dudes! Over time your immune system will deal with your infection, and the blisters will vanish. I think there is a drug for that, but I cannot figure out the spelling for its name it's acyclover, but damn if I can spell it. Now boyfriends are truly wonderful, I could l live in a war zone as long as the right man fur,(note to readers, man fur being chest hair, happy trail on his stomach, and furry armpits = man fur), bearing dude was my boyfriend. I could go through hell as long as he was with me. But sometimes the guy you thought was the one isn't the one. (Most annoying when that happens). At that point my dear, one simply must go hunting to find another. After all when one desires something, one must make every effort to acquire it. I wish it were possible to order a boyfriend from eBay or Amazon, unfortunately one cannot. (I can just see the ordering form for dudes). For us to provide you with your perfect hunk dude boyfriend we need the following information: #1. Hair color #2.eye color #3. Height #4 build #5 skin tone #6. Tattoos or no tattoos #7. Speaking accent, #8 personality type, military, biker, redneck, business man, bad ass prison dude,..... But this isn't it. So start figuring out what clothes you look good in, see a doctor for your health issue, save a little bit and go out to a club, or bar, or a rave, or.....your life is not over because of those events. You may yet still find happiness, but it will take an effort. Oh almost forgot, make sure to do your nails and hair before hunting, you want to look your best when trying to capture your hunk. Much love and good look on the hunting expedition.

 

[FuneralCry]

In this world some people can certainly be very cruel, and it sounds really awful what you endure. For so many in this world existing is just so painful, and it must be tiring feeling trapped in that situation. But I wish you the best.