Help Feeling like I woke up from a horrible dream

[ocdsucks]

Anyone else feel like they were dissociating and barely coping and not thinking about their actions and now you finally have the mental space to reflect feel awful for things that happened in the past?
Am really struggling right now, just wanting to talk to someone :(

 

[beseechgod]

yeah I relate

 

[GlassMoon]

Yes, me too. A few days ago (can't remember when exactly) it felt like I woke up and wondered why I had been giving so much space to CTB thoughts. Life felt more real then. But it was strange to think back about the time when CTB thoughts were present.

 

[ocdsucks]

Yes, me too. A few days ago (can't remember when exactly) it felt like I woke up and wondered why I had been giving so much space to CTB thoughts. Life felt more real then. But it was strange to think back about the time when CTB thoughts were present.

I keep going between "it would be stupid to kill yourself, you don't deserve to die, have some compassion" and "the only option is to ctb".

 

[GlassMoon]

I was very angry about two hours ago, overreacted and then felt guilty, and coping with that was hard. I remembered the emotional regulation techniques, applied them and calmed down. Now the storm is over, I feel awake. Let's see how long it lasts. I'm trying to use the time to be a good parent, preparing for something nice for tomorrow. I hope I'll still be able to actually do that tomorrow, and not be in another storm.