Feeling like I deserve the worst - so I really wanna die by infected cuts

[Sm0k3]

I know logically its REALLY REALLY HARD, but sometimes my brain just fixates on various methods n fantasize about doing it. I really want to shove dirt and stuff in my cut and let it rot and either just be in pain (deserved) or die (would be cool)

Like yay pain!!! Dying would just be a bonus, I heard it hurts alot and takes a long time but I kind of deserve it so its okay right??? I already cut myself and hit beans (not big or wide, just deep but theyre kind of small)

 

[Rose Mine]

Look up Kelly ronahan. She had that one disorder where you fake medical things so she would make wounds on her self, have them get infected, etc. you can find all the pics somewhere online, the timeline pics are gone though I think. She put poop in one wound so it could get infected. It got badly infected and she got her legs amuputated.

I just thought about that when I saw this. You are right though it is very hard.

Edit:
Just some info if you're curious

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Look up Kelly ronahan. She had that one disorder where you fake medical things so she would make wounds on her self, have them get infected, etc. you can find all the pics somewhere online, the timeline pics are gone though I think. She put poop in one wound so it could get infected. It got badly infected and she got her legs amuputated.

I just thought about that when I saw this. You are right though it is very hard.

Edit:
Just some info if you're curious

I saw some images of her legs and they were giving me a feeling of trypophobia. Also, a bit of an unrelated fun fact, but did you know that the spatial frequencies generally found in images that elicit trypophobia are similar to those found in some dangerous animal species (such as the patterns found on some venomous snake species)? For context, spatial frequency refers to the rate of changes in stimulus across a space. It is measured using black and white gratings that may look like this:


There is a hypothesis that trypophobia might actually be an evolutionary adaption, with it helping us to avoid some dangerous animal species.

Anyway, I saw a video of her after she got her legs amputated and she seemed so happy about it. It was concerning, to say the least. I'm curious as to what pushes a person to that point. I hope that recover whatever it is that causing this behaviour. It's clear that she isn't doing well mentally. I'm also disappointed at the news for writing an article on her despite the fact that part of why this even happened, to begin with, to begin with was because of her trying to gain attention.

 

[milkteacrown]

I understand. I often fantasize about being killed by someone I love; that's my ideal method of CTB. But I want it to be slow, just like the kinds of things you mentioned.