Venting Feeling hopeless and frustrated I can’t CTB

[catastrophix]

It all just feels so goddamn worthless. There isn't a point to my existence other than to suffer. I've been trying to make friends for years, but I always get too anxious or scared/paranoid for various reasons. I just hate myself so much. I don't understand why I can't act like a normal human being. I don't deserve to breathe the same air as everyone else. I shouldn't be here.

I've made so many vent art pieces or poems about how it all hurts, but there is no longer anything beautiful about any of this. It's tragic, pitiful, and pathetic. It's beyond frustrating that I can't even talk about this anywhere else, or else I'm sent back to the psych ward. Suicide prevention bullshit always says to use your "support team", but I just don't have one. What now?

 

[Gurbangulite]

I think I know exactly how you feel. The innate desire for survival is rooted deeper in the human brain than anyone else, I think. I'm lead to believe (mostly by media and anecdotal evidence) that one of the only ways we override this is already fearing that we are going to die or that our death will somehow further the survival of others. I'd be willing to bet that those with low self esteem are more likely to ctb because they genuinely feel that their death will be beneficial for those around them? I don't know. I'm here if you want to talk but I unfortunately don't have a lot to say besides that this is probably the reason we're all here.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it's so tiring and dreadful feeling trapped here, I certainly wish that it's easier to finally escape from all the suffering.