Venting Feeling extra CTB today

[HadItAll]

One of those days when I could almost just take a knife and simply slit my throat.

It's unbearable how unlucky I've been in the last few years after getting sick. It's a deadly combo combined with my illnesses.

I can't fucking go on anymore.

I pray that my lung health stays good enough for me to CTB peacefully when I go.
Fuck this shit everything in life is determined by luck and genetics, fucking everything.
Life depends on luck enough as it is, let alone when you're sick.
I will never CTB out of impulse, but days like this make me wanna just impulsively die in the dumbest way possible.

 

[Capsaicin78]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much.
I am in the same boat, only with mental illness

 

[HadItAll]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much.
I am in the same boat, only with mental illness

Mental illness comes as a bonus gift with my physical conditions.

 

[missingpeace]

Same here, I'm trying very hard not to blow my cover at home, my suffering made me think about slitting my throat as well. The entities that bother me have started giving me microspasms in my lower legs, trying to push me overboard. You mentioned life and luck, same thing happened to me, just my luck that I met someone who was powerful enough to drive me to suicide all in the invisible realm where no one can get her. Calling it a day, will be going very soon.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life really is something that I view as being so incredibly cruel, there could never be anything fair about existing in a world where factors that are out of our control can cause extreme amounts of suffering. This world really is hell, and it's just so unfair how you have to suffer so much. Existing in itself is something that is harmful because as long as we stay here we risk ending up in a situation of worse torture with no limit as to how horrific things can get. This certainly makes the thought of non existence sound so incredibly appealing.