potatolover1_
Member
- Nov 12, 2025
- 5
So, my love life is completely ruined im a shut in and everything feels in third person, my friends are annoying and I dont like them anymore, my best friend changed and im mostly all alone except for one person.
I want to expand on all of these because if I say them to someone else I might feel like an attention seeker and extremely weak, which I am for seriously thinking about suicide. Sometimes people have thought I want to and while yes, I do, I dont want them to think that but for some reason im always like "ahhh im sooooo sad" especially on for example insta notes and I wonder why I bother so I might just stop. I hate looking for people to care when they evidently don't but when they do I make stupid remarks push them away or say im feeling fine, which I am not. I feel shit enough to be somewhat active on here and I love everyone who reads about my pathetic existence, it feels like an escape from my life which i can only presume as a hell. A boring hell
A few months ago I talked on here about my gf at the time. Not sure if I said this but we broke up 6 months ago, recently I learned even more. Ill just say everything cuz I dont remember what j already posted, I dont care either. We dated for a year then didnt talk for the beforementioned time. In the meantime I found another girlfriend but when she came back in June I realized how fucked up of a person I was. I was ready to leave my current relationship to pursue a long gone one, then we had an argument. She revealed that during the time we were on and off, fhat would be from April to June in our relationship she dated another dude and cheated on me. Idk if its cheating but I consider it so. When we were off she was on with him when she was on with me she was on with him, you get it. They fucked in June and she ceased talking to him, so I was a safety net. Then she comes crying saying "waah u didn't appreciate you enough take me back!!" In ghe end of our relationship she left me for her bsf and started doing weed btw. I called her a whore and decided to stay with my current gf. Am I wrong for that? I don't care anyway.
I cant even act happy consistently in front of my friends, at some point they notice somethings wrong and that with each passing day I burn through my social battery quicker. I randomly get urges to puke cuz I feel like shit and dont feel like myself, I feel like im not even in touch with myself. I dont try to be different or civil in front of others, I insult my friends when they annoy me and they think I dont mean the stuff I say, how have you guys dealt with this? On top of that im a dumbass shut in, if im already at home I dont dare go outside, i dont want to. Should I just ctb
I want to expand on all of these because if I say them to someone else I might feel like an attention seeker and extremely weak, which I am for seriously thinking about suicide. Sometimes people have thought I want to and while yes, I do, I dont want them to think that but for some reason im always like "ahhh im sooooo sad" especially on for example insta notes and I wonder why I bother so I might just stop. I hate looking for people to care when they evidently don't but when they do I make stupid remarks push them away or say im feeling fine, which I am not. I feel shit enough to be somewhat active on here and I love everyone who reads about my pathetic existence, it feels like an escape from my life which i can only presume as a hell. A boring hell
A few months ago I talked on here about my gf at the time. Not sure if I said this but we broke up 6 months ago, recently I learned even more. Ill just say everything cuz I dont remember what j already posted, I dont care either. We dated for a year then didnt talk for the beforementioned time. In the meantime I found another girlfriend but when she came back in June I realized how fucked up of a person I was. I was ready to leave my current relationship to pursue a long gone one, then we had an argument. She revealed that during the time we were on and off, fhat would be from April to June in our relationship she dated another dude and cheated on me. Idk if its cheating but I consider it so. When we were off she was on with him when she was on with me she was on with him, you get it. They fucked in June and she ceased talking to him, so I was a safety net. Then she comes crying saying "waah u didn't appreciate you enough take me back!!" In ghe end of our relationship she left me for her bsf and started doing weed btw. I called her a whore and decided to stay with my current gf. Am I wrong for that? I don't care anyway.
I cant even act happy consistently in front of my friends, at some point they notice somethings wrong and that with each passing day I burn through my social battery quicker. I randomly get urges to puke cuz I feel like shit and dont feel like myself, I feel like im not even in touch with myself. I dont try to be different or civil in front of others, I insult my friends when they annoy me and they think I dont mean the stuff I say, how have you guys dealt with this? On top of that im a dumbass shut in, if im already at home I dont dare go outside, i dont want to. Should I just ctb
