Fear of the loud bang.

[Idoe.know]

I decided recently to change up how I want to CTB. I want to make sure there is no turning back and a very low chance to be saved. I have decided that a gun is going to have to be my choice now.

I have NEVER wanted to use one on myself before. I'm a female, and like many other females, I have avoided this route for many reasons. However, this is the only way I can see myself not chickening out. I also think this is the best way to ensure I'll be gone for good.

I plan to do this in one of my favorite forests so no one can find me, so I'm not worried about how my corpse will look nor am I worried about accidentally hurting others. I have shot at ranges before and grew up hunting so I'm comfortable with pulling the trigger. I do not have a license or gun in my possession yet, but I don't see that being an issue.

My main concern is the loud noise. It might seem silly, but I've always wanted a peaceful exit. I am on the spectrum of autism and I HATE loud noises. I know there is probably no way of getting around it, but does anyone have any tips on how I can get over this? I do not like the idea of that loud noise being the last thing I hear. Would listening to music help? Is there a way I can come to peace with that being the last noise?

If anyone has thought about or looked into this more, I'd appreciate any advice.

 

[universe]

I'm sorry your suffering has brought you here. I imagine that this change of method must be stressful, it's true that I am also extremely afraid that it will not work.
I imagine you would need to buy a silencer from a gun shop depending on what caliber you can get/have. In principle, this device can be put on any type of gun. Then I imagine that it depends on your country's legislation (I'm not asking you).

 

[ColorlessTrees]

I'm pretty paranoid about loud noises, so I would suggest earplugs. Even the cheap, foam drugstore ones can supposedly reduce noise up to 20 decibels. It might not help much considering how close it would be, but it's a thought.

Music may work well as a distraction as well, but I imagine a gunshot would always be louder.

There's not much I can say, so I apologize if I come off as detached, but it seems like a frustrating situation and I hope you're able to resolve things eventually. It's certainly not dumb to want a "tolerable" death after a terrible life.

 

[Idoe.know]

I'm sorry your suffering has brought you here. I imagine that this change of method must be stressful, it's true that I am also extremely afraid that it will not work.
I imagine you would need to buy a silencer from a gun shop depending on what caliber you can get/have. In principle, this device can be put on any type of gun. Then I imagine that it depends on your country's legislation (I'm not asking you).

Oh! I didn't even think of a silencer! That is such a brilliant idea! Thank you so much! And thank you for your kind words and empathy. I appreciate it. I hope you find peace however that may come to you and I send you love and support for your future whatever that may look like.

I'm pretty paranoid about loud noises, so I would suggest earplugs. Even the cheap, foam drugstore ones can supposedly reduce noise up to 20 decibels. It might not help much considering how close it would be, but it's a thought.

Music may work well as a distraction as well, but I imagine a gunshot would always be louder.

There's not much I can say, so I apologize if I come off as detached, but it seems like a frustrating situation and I hope you're able to resolve things eventually. It's certainly not dumb to want a "tolerable" death after a terrible life.

Thank you for the advice and great ideas. I truly appreciate them.

 

[Ligottian]

If properly done, perhaps easier said than done, a gunshot to the head will destroy your brain before you can hear anything.

 

[Dbd8djddi]

Provided one dies instantly, one won't even hear the gunshot. The vast majority of projectiles travel at supersonic speed.
That being said, suppressors/silencers lower the sound noticeably but are not effective enough to make a gun hearing-safe. It is still very loud, especially when shot indoors. The exception would be a .22lr firearm, which is rather quiet when suppressed, but suboptimal for it's relatively low energy as well as certain other firearms which were specifically designed to be used with a suppressor.
A way better alternative would be ear protection, especially when doubled-up, meaning when one combines in-ear and over-ear protection.