Farewell.

[tarnishedstoner]

I'll CTB today.

Right now it's around 15:34 and I'm on a train to go to a hotel. I couldn't do it in my room as my roommate isn't leaving for the holidays.
After a not so thorough consideration, I have decided that I'll be using SN(96%) instead of KN(99%). I have posted my protocol, you can view my profile to find that post if you're interested.
I'll be posting any updates here, just so that I don't feel alone I guess.
I thought I'd post something about me but I don't think that matters. I thought I'd make some friends here, i didn't.
I have till around midnight. I'll mostly be spending that time writing to my best friend.
I didn't think this is how it'd end. Not at all. And I thought I wouldn't care when the time comes. I'm slightly nervous now. I've been having nightmares ever since I decided on my plan.

If you don't hear from me, know that I'm gone.

Farewell.

 

[dalemar]

I wish you all the best, you deserve peace.
The protocol is solid!

 

[srilankanbeyotch]

May you find peace!

 

[martyrdom]

I didn't think this is how it'd end. Not at all. And I thought I wouldn't care when the time comes. I'm slightly nervous now. I've been having nightmares ever since I decided on my plan.

If you are nervous and it's traumatic to the point of nightmares, you still have time to change plans. Don't die because of sunk cost fallacy of all things. But if you are determined and truly want this, I respect your decision and wish you peace either way. I enjoyed seeing you around and I'd have liked to get to know you more. I hope you can have some comfort over the next few hours.

 

[soul2realm]

I'll CTB today.

Right now it's around 15:34 and I'm on a train to go to a hotel. I couldn't do it in my room as my roommate isn't leaving for the holidays.
After a not so thorough consideration, I have decided that I'll be using SN(96%) instead of KN(99%). I have posted my protocol, you can view my profile to find that post if you're interested.
I'll be posting any updates here, just so that I don't feel alone I guess.
I thought I'd post something about me but I don't think that matters. I thought I'd make some friends here, i didn't.
I have till around midnight. I'll mostly be spending that time writing to my best friend.
I didn't think this is how it'd end. Not at all. And I thought I wouldn't care when the time comes. I'm slightly nervous now. I've been having nightmares ever since I decided on my plan.

If you don't hear from me, know that I'm gone.

Farewell.

I am sorry, it had come to this. But please do share something about yourself. If you'd like you can also dm me or start a personal conversation.
Actually, my ctb set up is staring in my face as well for quite some time. I would really like to know you, I dont know maybe as a fellow passenger on this platform called life.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Hope you find your peace.

 

[darksouls]

good luck,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[a4001]

Good luck and safe passage.

 

[Alexandra_]

Goodbye, friend

 

[tarnishedstoner]

If you are nervous and it's traumatic to the point of nightmares, you still have time to change plans.

I've been having nightmares all my life now. I absolutely hate waking up with heart palpitations.

But if you are determined and truly want this, I respect your decision and wish you peace either way.

I am. I'm tired. There is absolutely nothing I want to struggle for.

But please do share something about yourself.

The only thing I'd say is that I tried. I tried so fucking hard. I got everything you need for a normal, happy life. But nothing changed. I hate this feeling. I've never felt safe, I've never felt okay. I worked so hard on everything, you name it. From being bullied for being skinny to people complimenting my physique. From crying myself to sleep because of loneliness to having so many friends in college that it gets hard to make time for all of them (i lost a few friendships because of that). Had a lovely partner. Broke up because I realised I didn't like her. I'm with someone else now but it's not official. I'm among the highest scorers in my college. Got the internship i wanted, which I had to leave because I was about to jump off a bridge. Got scholarship for my dream programme.
Why is it still raining? I did what I was supposed to. That's not fair.
What else do I do? There's something fundamentally broken, something fundamentally wrong with me. I don't remember being happy.
I'm in my hotel room now.
Just talked to my best friend on call. We laughed, made some stupid jokes.
It's 20:37. I have around 4 hours. I'll start prepping at 23:00.
Thank you everyone for the wishes.

 

[soul2realm]

I've been having nightmares all my life now. I absolutely hate waking up with heart palpitations.


I am. I'm tired. There is absolutely nothing I want to struggle for.


The only thing I'd say is that I tried. I tried so fucking hard. I got everything you need for a normal, happy life. But nothing changed. I hate this feeling. I've never felt safe, I've never felt okay. I worked so hard on everything, you name it. From being bullied for being skinny to people complimenting my physique. From crying myself to sleep because of loneliness to having so many friends in college that it gets hard to make time for all of them (i lost a few friendships because of that). Had a lovely partner. Broke up because I realised I didn't like her. I'm with someone else now but it's not official. I'm among the highest scorers in my college. Got the internship i wanted, which I had to leave because I was about to jump off a bridge. Got scholarship for my dream programme.
Why is it still raining? I did what I was supposed to. That's not fair.
What else do I do? There's something fundamentally broken, something fundamentally wrong with me. I don't remember being happy.
I'm in my hotel room now.
Just talked to my best friend on call. We laughed, made some stupid jokes.
It's 20:37. I have around 4 hours. I'll start prepping at 23:00.
Thank you everyone for the wishes.

You sound like an ace. So much you have accomplished, I am on the opposite spectrum of that. Not that I didn't try. But you are right all these things they don't compare to inner happiness. But I disagree that there is something wrong with you. If it was, how came there are so many of us in the same boat.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find freedom from suffering, I wish you the best.

 

[soul2realm]

Sometimes a sudden gush of gentle breeze on a hot day is enough to make us smile and sometimes...the world is not enough. This reality and the world scares me so I have a safe place in my thoughts - a life, a vision where everything is what I want.
You know if you postpone your plans by any chance, you can tell us a bit more about what really you are searching for in detail. Anyhow, whatever you decide, you have ppl who would like to know their fellow passenger better.

 

[tarnishedstoner]

goodbye.

 

[dalemar]

Goodybe my friend! I hope you find your pace!

 

[awaitinglove]

I'm wishing you nothing but peace

 

[soul2realm]

Blessings that you find your home.

 

[Bimbosqualo]

Goodbye, I hope you find peace.

 

[Sucka4life]

Rest well

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

Rest in peace

 

[fruitninjamaster]

We will miss your soul

 

[spero_meliora]

I hope you've found peace on your journey.

 

[MourningFlower]

May you find peace

 

[KenDuh]

Rest in peace

 

[peacecomingsoon]

I hope you found the peace you were looking for. Farewell.