fkyou
...
- Oct 1, 2022
- 298
Nothing gets me more angry than they way these people behave when things don't look like they are going well especially your mental health.. so I don't understand where the care comes from?!!!.. I've been depressed my whole younger life..I knew that I can't handle any more age related hardships because the drive that people have (happiness)to do that I don't have it..the things that make me joyful in life are very little..and most of them are gone with growing older..ever since I was I kid I was a sad kid..I knew if there's nothing more to life than this I will not tolerate it.turns out there's actually less 
less youth less success etc..im a materialistic human (I failed in that btw obviously) if I don't have personal achievement I don't see the point of living in a place that I always felt misery in it..I hated the people too..the culture.. everytime I'm in social event with these people I just see the proof that nothing changed that there was nothing more to it..the misery I felt the emotional suffering I went through no one can answer it.all I know is that I felt disgusted by everything including the people..was it because I couldn't connect with them?.. belong..I used to think it's the poverty that I hated..or the unemployment..the place I live in..but when I grew up I realized the list kept widening and getting bigger..the problem is in me..
So now when people act worried about me or have expectations on me I don't get it..I've been depressed pessimistic my whole young life.. I don't understand what Im supposed to be fighting for when all I felt before was sadness anxiousness..well let's correct that I was actually quite fine throughout teenagerhood..but because of the way I think growing older comes with disappointment that I can't tolerate.so if before I was okay now I'm sad..my mind is good at feeling negative and coming up with more reasons to be sad and that's all it does. So I don't see the point in living with this mentality..
less youth less success etc..im a materialistic human (I failed in that btw obviously) if I don't have personal achievement I don't see the point of living in a place that I always felt misery in it..I hated the people too..the culture.. everytime I'm in social event with these people I just see the proof that nothing changed that there was nothing more to it..the misery I felt the emotional suffering I went through no one can answer it.all I know is that I felt disgusted by everything including the people..was it because I couldn't connect with them?.. belong..I used to think it's the poverty that I hated..or the unemployment..the place I live in..but when I grew up I realized the list kept widening and getting bigger..the problem is in me..So now when people act worried about me or have expectations on me I don't get it..I've been depressed pessimistic my whole young life.. I don't understand what Im supposed to be fighting for when all I felt before was sadness anxiousness..well let's correct that I was actually quite fine throughout teenagerhood..but because of the way I think growing older comes with disappointment that I can't tolerate.so if before I was okay now I'm sad..my mind is good at feeling negative and coming up with more reasons to be sad and that's all it does. So I don't see the point in living with this mentality..
