fleetingnight
incapable of shutting up
- May 2, 2024
- 612
I'm thinking about giving up. I already gave up on life, but I might have to give up on death, too. I don't know what I'll do then, though. Keep existing in pain and never stop complaining, I guess.
The more I think about it, the more I''m afraid I'll never be able to CTB or attempt. I'm not smart. I don't have an ounce of courage in me. I'm bad at everything, I guess that includes suicide. I make plans and daydream about it, but in real life, I can hardly force myself to even take small risks.
Maybe it was stupid to ever think I could.
I feel so fucking hopeless, though. It's overwhelming. I don't know what to do. No plans to live, no plans to die. Nothing I can do to make it stop. No way out. Never a way out. Not even death. Too weak to live and too weak to die. Where does that leave me? What do I do?
The more I think about it, the more I''m afraid I'll never be able to CTB or attempt. I'm not smart. I don't have an ounce of courage in me. I'm bad at everything, I guess that includes suicide. I make plans and daydream about it, but in real life, I can hardly force myself to even take small risks.
Maybe it was stupid to ever think I could.
I feel so fucking hopeless, though. It's overwhelming. I don't know what to do. No plans to live, no plans to die. Nothing I can do to make it stop. No way out. Never a way out. Not even death. Too weak to live and too weak to die. Where does that leave me? What do I do?
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