Venting Failing at everything, even dying

[fleetingnight]

I'm thinking about giving up. I already gave up on life, but I might have to give up on death, too. I don't know what I'll do then, though. Keep existing in pain and never stop complaining, I guess.

The more I think about it, the more I''m afraid I'll never be able to CTB or attempt. I'm not smart. I don't have an ounce of courage in me. I'm bad at everything, I guess that includes suicide. I make plans and daydream about it, but in real life, I can hardly force myself to even take small risks.

Maybe it was stupid to ever think I could.

I feel so fucking hopeless, though. It's overwhelming. I don't know what to do. No plans to live, no plans to die. Nothing I can do to make it stop. No way out. Never a way out. Not even death. Too weak to live and too weak to die. Where does that leave me? What do I do?

 

[release_me]

You are not alone my friend, for I too am a total and complete failure in all respects.
I sincerely hope and wish that you obtain your answers and releif soon.

 

[latuecat]

Don't be so hard on yourself Ctb is a very rough and difficult thing to do who said it was ever easy it's pretty freaking hard, and maybe if u start being less harshly critical of yourself things will get better god willing

 

[spectraltease]

Suicide is not a common thing or topic. We suffer in silence, overwhelmed by everything. Suicide is hard and the most struggle with it very much, like me. I just want to tell you, that you are not stupid. It is not stupid to have fears, its totally normal.