Venting Failed to CTB now I have to live with myself (CW: NSFW)

[birdofafeather]

I failed. And now my pictures got sent to random people. I'm not sure who. Or where. I just know that my body isn't mine anyone.
When you trust the wrong people you get fucked over. He knew I was vulnerable. He knew I was suicidal. And he used me. And then when I fought back he did this. I wanted to have my dignity intact when I died. Now I can't even have that. It's stupid. I was going to die either way. Just now people are going to think I did it because of that and not for my own sake. People will ogle me and...
Now I don't even have the money for the most basic of methods. I have 90 pence in my bank account. Not nearly enough for any reliable method.
Why is there no escape?
WHY CAN'T I EVEN KILL MYSELF RIGHT?
THERE IS JUST NO FUCKING END.
THERE IS NO END
THERE IS NO END
THERE IS NO FUCKING END

 

[yoshii]

Some humans are just truly despicable. You did not deserve to be taking advantage of at your lowest, you did not deserve to stripped of your dignity, and you should have the right as to who gets to view your own body. I can't possibly imagine the pain you're in right now but I hope you will be at rest soon.

 

[itsallpointless]

where r u from? i'm looking for a partner and i can pay for all expenses(ticket, method, etc.) if you change your mind i can get you a return ticket too.

 

[birdofafeather]

where r u from? i'm looking for a partner and i can pay for all expenses

I'm in the UK, Cambridgeshire area currently for the next 2 weeks, then I'm in London

 

[itsallpointless]

if you get your forum post up, we can do DMs.

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that you simply cannot trust people in this hellish world, humans are responsible for so much of the suffering that exists here and it's just the unfortunate truth. Humans do disgust me with how they treat others so badly, there are no amount of words that can describe how much I despise this world where despite all of the torment there are no straightforward ways to die.

 

[Walpurgisnacht]

This is vile. I'm so sorry...
People are fucking evil, this world is a cesspool.
The man who stripped me of my dignity is the only person I truly fear I'll see again someday, it's been a decade and I still get the same fucking nightmares he fucking stole me. Show any vulnerability, get exploited... It's... beyond words...
How the fuck can society stomach to force people who have endured what you have to keep enduring, it's sickening how little anyone cares about the real consequences of just... pure evil.
I hope you can find peace from it all, however you choose to. You don't deserve this wretched treatment...

 

[smallworld_]

where r u from? i'm looking for a partner and i can pay for all expenses(ticket, method, etc.) if you change your mind i can get you a return ticket too.

Im from NY in VA im interested, contact me?

 

[itsallpointless]

can't contact you. You gotta get your post count up

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I am so sorry, that is absolutely vile. I hope you can have you peaceful ending despite everything. I wish you all the best and I'm just so sorry you need to experience that, I believe we talked a couple days ago.

If you want to you can PM me, not asking for a CTB partner like others here (not from the UK) but if you want to talk about anything.

 

[freedfromvice]

I failed. And now my pictures got sent to random people. I'm not sure who. Or where. I just know that my body isn't mine anyone.
When you trust the wrong people you get fucked over. He knew I was vulnerable. He knew I was suicidal. And he used me. And then when I fought back he did this. I wanted to have my dignity intact when I died. Now I can't even have that. It's stupid. I was going to die either way. Just now people are going to think I did it because of that and not for my own sake. People will ogle me and...
Now I don't even have the money for the most basic of methods. I have 90 pence in my bank account. Not nearly enough for any reliable method.
Why is there no escape?
WHY CAN'T I EVEN KILL MYSELF RIGHT?
THERE IS JUST NO FUCKING END.
THERE IS NO END
THERE IS NO END
THERE IS NO FUCKING END

That's horrible that they've done that to you. Just remember, the kind of person who would do that is a miserable cretin themselves, and you are above them. Getting some nudes leaked happens to the best of us. Just realize its not the end of the world and your body is still yours. Try to live well and leave the cretins in the slop where they belong.