Story Failed suicide attempt with opioids, benzos, and alcohol

[drugfiend]

Hi everyone,

Last month I tried and failed to kill myself. Kinda wanted to just share my experience, and maybe try to explain why it failed. Well, right off the bat I tried to complete a suicide with an overdose, so that should be the end of it, but I'll give you exact doses.

First, I want to say that I am pretty much opioid-naive (dabbled a bit, never regular use) but have an extremely high tolerance to alcohol and benzodiazepines. I drink and take clonazepam everyday. I had recently broken my ankle while I was drinking, so I had surgery and got prescribed hydrocodone. This is the perfect opportunity, I thought.

I took all the hydrocodone I was prescribed at once, which was 200mg in total. I also used to have a prescription for alprazolam so I decided to add that in the mix, even though I usually save them for when I'm having a panic attack. I took 10mg of alprazolam and 10mg of clonazepam. I was also drinking very heavily throughout the night, and took all these near the end of my drinking. I had drank about 1 liter of vodka throughout the evening before taking the opioids and benzos. I was so convinced this was going to work, and I'm still upset that it didn't.

My experience was very pleasant, even though I did piss myself in my sleep. About 45 minutes after taking all my pills, I started to feel very relaxed, possibly the most at-ease and at peace I've ever felt in my life. I tried staying awake to enjoy what I believed to be my last moments, but that proved nearly impossible. Then, sometime after that I don't remember, I passed out. I slept for about 30 hours straight and woke up covered in my own urine. I didn't throw up or feel sick; in fact I felt very hungry upon waking up. I don't believe I experienced any long-term effects, as it's been about a month since the attempt and I've felt pretty much the same. I feel shitty physically all the time and that hasn't gotten worse or better.

Unfortunately, I did wake up from the attempt. I feel like this method would be amazing if I could figure out the doses that would be right for me. However, now I don't have any hydrocodone left and I feel like I wasted a lot of alprazolam that could have better been used for panic attacks. The urge to die has never felt stronger and I know for certain that I'm ready to go. I just wish it were easier. Anyway, thanks for reading.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

Hi everyone,

Last month I tried and failed to kill myself. Kinda wanted to just share my experience, and maybe try to explain why it failed. Well, right off the bat I tried to complete a suicide with an overdose, so that should be the end of it, but I'll give you exact doses.

First, I want to say that I am pretty much opioid-naive (dabbled a bit, never regular use) but have an extremely high tolerance to alcohol and benzodiazepines. I drink and take clonazepam everyday. I had recently broken my ankle while I was drinking, so I had surgery and got prescribed hydrocodone. This is the perfect opportunity, I thought.

I took all the hydrocodone I was prescribed at once, which was 200mg in total. I also used to have a prescription for alprazolam so I decided to add that in the mix, even though I usually save them for when I'm having a panic attack. I took 10mg of alprazolam and 10mg of clonazepam. I was also drinking very heavily throughout the night, and took all these near the end of my drinking. I had drank about 1 liter of vodka throughout the evening before taking the opioids and benzos. I was so convinced this was going to work, and I'm still upset that it didn't.

My experience was very pleasant, even though I did piss myself in my sleep. About 45 minutes after taking all my pills, I started to feel very relaxed, possibly the most at-ease and at peace I've ever felt in my life. I tried staying awake to enjoy what I believed to be my last moments, but that proved nearly impossible. Then, sometime after that I don't remember, I passed out. I slept for about 30 hours straight and woke up covered in my own urine. I didn't throw up or feel sick; in fact I felt very hungry upon waking up. I don't believe I experienced any long-term effects, as it's been about a month since the attempt and I've felt pretty much the same. I feel shitty physically all the time and that hasn't gotten worse or better.

Unfortunately, I did wake up from the attempt. I feel like this method would be amazing if I could figure out the doses that would be right for me. However, now I don't have any hydrocodone left and I feel like I wasted a lot of alprazolam that could have better been used for panic attacks. The urge to die has never felt stronger and I know for certain that I'm ready to go. I just wish it were easier. Anyway, thanks for reading.

Wow, that sounds very overwhelming. I OD'd on Zyprexa in 2009 and was basically unconscious for 3 days straight (with exception of a few moments here and there of lucidity). It wasn't a pleasant experience though.

 

[knowledgeseeking]

Hi everyone,

Last month I tried and failed to kill myself. Kinda wanted to just share my experience, and maybe try to explain why it failed. Well, right off the bat I tried to complete a suicide with an overdose, so that should be the end of it, but I'll give you exact doses.

First, I want to say that I am pretty much opioid-naive (dabbled a bit, never regular use) but have an extremely high tolerance to alcohol and benzodiazepines. I drink and take clonazepam everyday. I had recently broken my ankle while I was drinking, so I had surgery and got prescribed hydrocodone. This is the perfect opportunity, I thought.

I took all the hydrocodone I was prescribed at once, which was 200mg in total. I also used to have a prescription for alprazolam so I decided to add that in the mix, even though I usually save them for when I'm having a panic attack. I took 10mg of alprazolam and 10mg of clonazepam. I was also drinking very heavily throughout the night, and took all these near the end of my drinking. I had drank about 1 liter of vodka throughout the evening before taking the opioids and benzos. I was so convinced this was going to work, and I'm still upset that it didn't.

My experience was very pleasant, even though I did piss myself in my sleep. About 45 minutes after taking all my pills, I started to feel very relaxed, possibly the most at-ease and at peace I've ever felt in my life. I tried staying awake to enjoy what I believed to be my last moments, but that proved nearly impossible. Then, sometime after that I don't remember, I passed out. I slept for about 30 hours straight and woke up covered in my own urine. I didn't throw up or feel sick; in fact I felt very hungry upon waking up. I don't believe I experienced any long-term effects, as it's been about a month since the attempt and I've felt pretty much the same. I feel shitty physically all the time and that hasn't gotten worse or better.

Unfortunately, I did wake up from the attempt. I feel like this method would be amazing if I could figure out the doses that would be right for me. However, now I don't have any hydrocodone left and I feel like I wasted a lot of alprazolam that could have better been used for panic attacks. The urge to die has never felt stronger and I know for certain that I'm ready to go. I just wish it were easier. Anyway, thanks for reading.

I've tried this a couple of times having the same experience as you. Lots of sleep and waking in own urine. It's so devastating. I'm sorry.

It sucks that opioid OD is so unreliable as it truly is a peaceful way to go.

 

[Btkeeg]

Had a similar experience. Tried to combine strangulation with and OD. Ended up passing out after I tightened the strap but it came loose somehow and I woke up 20 hours later with intense vertigo. Slept for another 12 hours after that and was pretty much fine. I'm really angry it didn't work.

 

[ginadu]

I had been thinking of ODing.
All I have is 40 mg of oxy, some Co-Codamol and Quetiapine. I was going to down them with a bottle of wine. Doesn't sound like it will work and the Co-Codamol will probably wreck my liver.

 

[Kanau_Nano]

I ended up in the hospital in a coma and on a ventilator from the same stuff pretty much. I hope you don't suffer any brain damage from trying this. It's very dangerous.

 

[cluefixphantom]

If you have access to healthcare, you might be able to get fentanyl patches ?

I would OD on them or use them with other CTB methods for success, because I read Fentanyl is lethal and you don't need much. I just have access to Ibuprufen and Paracetamol, Vomex A and try with Cola to go (killing the abdomen). If this doesn't work then I try CO method with portable kerosene heater (Petroliumofen).

It's sad that you can't just go into a store or go to amazon and buy Pendobarbital or similar, like some cheap shampoo. I could have avoided many unnesessary days. If I look back all of them are unnesessary.

 

[ih34rty0u]

If you have access to healthcare, you might be able to get fentanyl patches ?

I would OD on them or use them with other CTB methods for success, because I read Fentanyl is lethal and you don't need much. I just have access to Ibuprufen and Paracetamol, Vomex A and try with Cola to go (killing the abdomen). If this doesn't work then I try CO method with portable kerosene heater (Petroliumofen).

It's sad that you can't just go into a store or go to amazon and buy Pendobarbital or similar, like some cheap shampoo. I could have avoided many unnesessary days. If I look back all of them are unnesessary.

do those patches differ significantly in efficiency compared to IV fentanyl?

 

[Nothingness91827]

I also have a ridiculously high tolerance to all downers. It's what kept me from attempting even 1500mg of methadone combined with Klonapin and a handle of vodka. When I make the choice, I'm too scared of failing to attempt anything other than multiple somethings that would disprove quantum immortality. For example gunshot to the head attempting to hit the brainstem while standing in a few feet of water after taking 1500mg of methadone, and some benzos and booze to enjoy the seductive call of void as I enter.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

IV fentanyl?

IV in general is always going to be more effective because it's directly entering the bloodstream. Patches can only absorb through the skin, which could still be enough to OD on if you had enough, but will take more and won't be as efficient as IV medication.

 

[Pale_Rider]

I was revived from an opiate OD attempt. For me its the people factor that needs to be managed.