Failed carbon monoxide

[angelsad]

I failed another suicide attempt, after spending a week figuring out and spending $100 on fittings and a grey water hose from a hardware store, i sat in a car for roughly 45 minutes waiting for the gas to knock me out, only to wig out after slowly breathing harder and harder until I could stand it. Just to find out that method suicide isn't even possible anymore.

I'm at the point where im just annoyed it didn't work, and I've felt this same feeling of annoyed and angry that it didn't work, for an embarrasing bumber of times, lacking any positive emotion from failing to _____. I've read a good enough amount on here to find the sure way of of actually _____, short of hanging which is my last choice. I just feel stupid its taken 12 attempts and im still kicking like its so stupid its funny to me. Its genuinely the only thing I look forward to and I hope I can move forward, using the information this community has put the rare effort into sharing.

Does anyone else feel that same excitement everyone else seems to feel in their daily life, only towards their own end? I'm sure i cant be the only one but I've never heard anyone else express it before probably due to it being quite hurtful to hear for someone who would listen and fear of being sectioned etc

 

[dustoff]

gassing yourself with car exhaust issn't possible anymore becoz of catalytic converter.

 

[romanbrown]

i feel like that peace and normalcy, when i have the means of suicide near me. it gives me a certain feeling knowing that there is an end, and humans are just mortal.

 

[angelsad]

gassing yourself with car exhaust issn't possible anymore becoz of catalytic converter.

I found out one or two days after :(

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to SaSu!

 

[angelsad]

i feel like that peace and normalcy, when i have the means of suicide near me. it gives me a certain feeling knowing that there is an end, and humans are just mortal.

I'm glad im not the only one that feels that. Its such a relieving feeling. I dont get it from anything else

Welcome to SaSu!

Thank you :)

 

[dustoff]

I found out one or two days after :(

that sux.. car exhaust from modern cars is mostly water and carbon dioxide. so it just makes an environment w high humidity and gradually increasing % of CO2 in the air which same as choking in a plastic bag.

 

[TraurigerClown]

I failed another suicide attempt, after spending a week figuring out and spending $100 on fittings and a grey water hose from a hardware store, i sat in a car for roughly 45 minutes waiting for the gas to knock me out, only to wig out after slowly breathing harder and harder until I could stand it. Just to find out that method suicide isn't even possible anymore.

I'm at the point where im just annoyed it didn't work, and I've felt this same feeling of annoyed and angry that it didn't work, for an embarrasing bumber of times, lacking any positive emotion from failing to _____. I've read a good enough amount on here to find the sure way of of actually _____, short of hanging which is my last choice. I just feel stupid its taken 12 attempts and im still kicking like its so stupid its funny to me. Its genuinely the only thing I look forward to and I hope I can move forward, using the information this community has put the rare effort into sharing.

Does anyone else feel that same excitement everyone else seems to feel in their daily life, only towards their own end? I'm sure i cant be the only one but I've never heard anyone else express it before probably due to it being quite hurtful to hear for someone who would listen and fear of being sectioned etc

If you really want to do it in your car, you need to install the hose in front of the catalysator. otherwise the shit coming out your exhaust is to clean

 

[romanbrown]

I'm glad im not the only one that feels that. Its such a relieving feeling. I dont get it from anything else

Thank you :)

i feel a strange peace and relief when i'm reminded of the reality that we're all just mortal, we live for 100 years then die. people really are animals, like birds and trees etc. we're all organisms that are subject to death, including the suicidal person. and i'm spiritual so i have a hope after death. that's what allows me some tranquility near the end of my life. this world reminds of that one episode from rick and morty where morty accidentally induced racism, sexism and all that on a new-founded alien planet, it was all very synonymous to how earth became corrupted and honestly i cba. knowing i'm not going to be subjected to prejudice because of my sex, race, class whatever and be dead is more peaceful. sorry for rambling i just need to type it out. i always read about those who experience near death and this one guy saw something so tranquil and resplendent when he nearly died, (or died then was revived i cant remember) that after he used all his strength to kill himself. lotta people put up w it cause they've been conditioned and so calloused from birth to just put up with the things they genetically possess and internalise the discrimination against those possessions. sometimes its so deep woven in the damned society that people actually normalise it. when you're not calloused and have to walk through life daily fucking... being in it all it's just so bad. it's like being assaulted daily. i just feel so much relief that i can go, i think i'll use my free will gift to die. and dying isn't bad. i really hate it when people see themselves as above animals or worse not an animal cause we act exactly like them but it's less apparant to us cause we're in it. it's like getting a bear to explain his own psychology to another bear, not gonna go well. you need something outside of you to assess yourself, which is imo God. but no one listens and shuts down at the mention of God so yeah. idfk i'm gonna die

 

[angelsad]

that sux.. car exhaust from modern cars is mostly water and carbon dioxide. so it just makes an environment w high humidity and gradually increasing % of CO2 in the air which same as choking in a plastic bag.

It was pretty bad, I was nose breathing for a while then I had to mouth breathe until I felt like I needed to breathe more than my lungs could handle. That water bit is interesting I did notice the windows were fogged as I got out too, I thought I was just breathing all that onto the windows

If you really want to do it in your car, you need to install the hose in front of the catalysator. otherwise the shit coming out your exhaust is to clean

I am not that smart and I dont have the privacy to do that thank you though

i feel a strange peace and relief when i'm reminded of the reality that we're all just mortal, we live for 100 years then die. people really are animals, like birds and trees etc. we're all organisms that are subject to death, including the suicidal person. and i'm spiritual so i have a hope after death. that's what allows me some tranquility near the end of my life. this world reminds of that one episode from rick and morty where morty accidentally induced racism, sexism and all that on a new-founded alien planet, it was all very synonymous to how earth became corrupted and honestly i cba. knowing i'm not going to be subjected to prejudice because of my sex, race, class whatever and be dead is more peaceful. sorry for rambling i just need to type it out. i always read about those who experience near death and this one guy saw something so tranquil and resplendent when he nearly died, (or died then was revived i cant remember) that after he used all his strength to kill himself. lotta people put up w it cause they've been conditioned and so calloused from birth to just put up with the things they genetically possess and internalise the discrimination against those possessions. sometimes its so deep woven in the damned society that people actually normalise it. when you're not calloused and have to walk through life daily fucking... being in it all it's just so bad. it's like being assaulted daily. i just feel so much relief that i can go, i think i'll use my free will gift to die. and dying isn't bad. i really hate it when people see themselves as above animals or worse not an animal cause we act exactly like them but it's less apparant to us cause we're in it. it's like getting a bear to explain his own psychology to another bear, not gonna go well. you need something outside of you to assess yourself, which is imo God. but no one listens and shuts down at the mention of God so yeah. idfk i'm gonna die

Its a different take on things but I get your point. To you death is an end to all that suffering and possibly a new beginning.