angele

angele

gay trans man (he/him)
Nov 20, 2019
71
I made the decision to try and explain to my closest friends my choice to ctb and it went as well as it could have. Of course they want me alive but from what I can tell they respect my decision. I think it's because they've seen the worst in me and know what I struggle with every day and they're all in the same boat, mental illness-wise.

I haven't been completely honest or specific with them about my plans just in case though. As much as I love and trust them, I can't afford to get that knock on my door.

I just thought I'd share a bit of positivity for this board since we rarely see any. I hope if any of you are planning on sharing your decision with your loved ones then it goes well <3

p.s. managed to shower today! yay!
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
9,228
I made the decision to try and explain to my closest friends my choice to ctb and it went as well as it could have. Of course they want me alive but from what I can tell they respect my decision. I think it's because they've seen the worst in me and know what I struggle with every day and they're all in the same boat, mental illness-wise.

I haven't been completely honest or specific with them about my plans just in case though. As much as I love and trust them, I can't afford to get that knock on my door.

I just thought I'd share a bit of positivity for this board since we rarely see any. I hope if any of you are planning on sharing your decision with your loved ones then it goes well <3

p.s. managed to shower today! yay!

At least your friends understand why you want to CTB. I agree, I wouldn't get into specific plans. Too risky.
I did tell one of my friends a few years ago I wanted to die, he did get upset. I mentioned it at least once after that but we really don't talk about it.
I did not say how serious I was about ending it or that I have plans to CTB.
If you do CTB soon, I hope you find peace. :hug:
 
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Why you?

Why you?

All The Bright Places
Nov 22, 2019
32
If you choose to CTB, I hope you find the 'supposed' peace.
The moment you accept what troubles you've been given, the door will open.
- Rumi
 
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Detour

Detour

Detour Ahead
Oct 25, 2019
60
I told a friend of mine on, accident ? I messed up cause out of all people I chose the very religious one. He gave me a almost 3 hour talk on why I shouldn't and showed me a video of a guy in "hell" and how he regrets it. LOL Im never gonna bring it up to anyone again
 
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Deardaddy

Deardaddy

Student
May 20, 2019
172
Never bring it out. If u don't ctb u be labelled a coward in life. Just ctb and peace w you
 
angele

angele

gay trans man (he/him)
Nov 20, 2019
71
Never bring it out. If u don't ctb u be labelled a coward in life. Just ctb and peace w you
I don't know anyone that would call someone a coward for not killing themself. I think you're projecting, friend
 
Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
Recent experience I can only say NO! Don't go there at all. Causes a world of pain and anxiety for both parties.
 
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AnnaJaspers

AnnaJaspers

Experienced
Jul 2, 2019
217
I have informed my brother and a friend of my intent to CTB. Brother doesn't speak to me, but my friend reluctantly understands.

True friends will understand---if your wish to die has been for a lengthy period of time and rationally considered.
Recent experience I can only say NO! Don't go there at all. Causes a world of pain and anxiety for both parties.

What happened, Stan?
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
What happened, Stan?
I organised what I knew to be a last social event with a couple of old friends. Late in the evening one left to go home and for the life of me I still don't know how it happened but my intent to cbt soon came out. He texted me on the hour, every hour it seemed over the next few days to check I was still alive. I made a fool of myself and put some stupid pressure on him because he now knows. Nobody is going to take this news well unless you have a terminal illness that has pain attached to it. I think they can square it away ethically. But for other reasons, no chance.
 
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AnnaJaspers

AnnaJaspers

Experienced
Jul 2, 2019
217
I organised what I knew to be a last social event with a couple of old friends. Late in the evening one left to go home and for the life of me I still don't know how it happened but my intent to cbt soon came out. He texted me on the hour, every hour it seemed over the next few days to check I was still alive. I made a fool of myself and put some stupid pressure on him because he now knows. Nobody is going to take this news well unless you have a terminal illness that has pain attached to it. I think they can square it away ethically. But for other reasons, no chance.

I'm sorry that happened.
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
I am just sharing it as a precautionary tale. As much as you may want to share, in the the long run there is no comfort from it. Actually, it is the opposite of comfort.
 
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awfullife

awfullife

Arcanist
Nov 16, 2019
435
way to go on the shower accomplishment! I am getting one per week at the moment.
 
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