Executive Dysfunction

[Dr Iron Arc]

So here's a new term I just discovered which maybe everyone already knows about but I didn't.

Executive dysfunction - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

"In psychology and neuroscience, executive dysfunction, or executive function deficit, is a disruption to the efficacy of the executive functions, which is a group of cognitive processes that regulate, control, and manage other cognitive processes."

I suddenly get it now. This must be why I've been struggling to even commence my CTB plans. I have all these plans and constant thoughts about what I need to do and yet I just never do it. I think this is different from just procrastination because usually with procrastination there's a deadline while for me I often struggle to attempt basic things I very clearly wanted to do. I thought I was just always tired and lazy and maybe I still am but at least now I have a trendy new word to call it instead.

As an example sometimes when I'm alone and I'm driving to a place I have in mind, sometimes I will drive to the place and then just…sit in the car. Maybe I get on my phone or maybe I just lie down doing nothing. Sometimes I spiral down into feeling like I hate myself more just because I don't have the basic willpower to get up and walk into a building I clearly want to go into. Oftentimes I also lose focus and become unable to extract coherent thoughts and memories. At first I thought it might be long Covid but the truth is I've been experiencing it way before this decade even started (though maybe getting Covid once could have made it worse).

Now that I know about this phenomenon…now what? They say this can be a symptom of adhd, autism, depression, or any other number of things. It could even just be something that happens to completely normal people. Do I go see a therapist? How can I do that when everytime I even think of trying to set one up, I decide no and just do nothing about it?

Does anyone else experience this and if so, how can it be fixed? Maybe that's not going to help anyway because even if I receive genuinely good advice that I can act on, I might still not act on it thanks to this behavior.

 

[QteStimBnnuy]

I tend to have it with adhd and it ruins a lot, doesn't matter if I'm motivated, wanting to do something ect. My brain just went in the full opposite direction, but no one can understand it aside people who actually deals with it. I self medicate with stimulants to solve it, otherwise good luck

But really if it's a genuine issue you've had for a very long time then it's probably something more than just being a "normal" thing with everyone when it interferes with your life greatly. Otherwise exercising should help, or so it had for many and of course sleep schedule, eating, dividing up tasks into smaller ones to go do it, ect ect

adhd or not it's highly recommended to see one for that if severe, + the Imposter syndrome is a bitch. Wasted a long ass wait time by backing out on call. Leaving me to wait almost a whole year to get it back again. 2-3 years later still seeing psychologist and psychiatrists for them to figure things out. Can't think of much to fight it sometimes, starting is always the hardest and just have to trust that you actually do have an issue and should at least try describing issues

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I misread the title and thought that it said "erectile dysfunction". At first, I was a bit confused as to why you were talking about executive dysfunction...

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

But really if it's a genuine issue you've had for a very long time then it's probably something more than just being a "normal" thing with everyone when it interferes with your life greatly. Otherwise exercising should help, or so it had for many and of course sleep schedule, eating, dividing up tasks into smaller ones to go do it, ect ect

adhd or not it's highly recommended to see one for that if severe, + the Imposter syndrome is a bitch. Wasted a long ass wait time by backing out on call. Leaving me to wait almost a whole year to get it back again. 2-3 years later still seeing psychologist and psychiatrists for them to figure things out. Can't think of much to fight it sometimes, starting is always the hardest and just have to trust that you actually do have an issue and should at least try describing issues

Eating well, sleeping on time, and exercise are all things I probably wouldn't willingly do even if I didn't struggle with this behavior. Not sure how I can start starting if even when I want to do any of those things, I just shut down. Or sometimes I keep it going only for like two days at most and then I backslide.

I can't even conjure the energy to find a therapist. In the past, I could open up a link that might show where the nearest ones approved by my insurance are only for me to then stare blankly at the screen hoping it just schedules an appointment through sheer willpower alone then an hour later after a nap I forget what I was doing.

I misread the title and thought that it said "erectile dysfunction". At first, I was a bit confused as to why you were talking about executive dysfunction...

Well another joke that could be made about this goes something like "Executive dysfunction? Of course all executives are dysfunctional! That's why they're at the top!"

 

[vak]

Oh man, that pretty much sums up my life, I know about this term. It literally ruined my life without any hope of getting it back. I had soooo much potential.

The worst thing is that it prevents you from doing things you'd love to do. I know what I want, exactly what to do, everything is planned and easy, broken down to elementary tasks. I have both mental and physical energy to do it, I WANT to do it. Right there, right now, I'm excited. My mind tries to move my body, but my body doesn't listen and just sits there, torturing me with regret. It's like if I get satisfied by the idea of doing something, but doing it for real gives me no reward so my brain just ignores it.

So being good at your job? Forget it. Having hobbies? No chance. Take good care of yourself? Good luck. Maintaining good relationships? Nope.

I've spent two years in therapy just for this, with no help. You hear about emotional regulation, different time management techniques, internal vs. external motivation, discipline - it's all a bandage over a broken bone. I gave it everything with zero result. You do learn to cope with it a little bit, but life is just terrible if you struggle with this.

I think I might have undiagnosed ADHD (maybe without hyperactivity). I've scheduled yet another appointment with a psychiatrist. The thing is, I was told last time, quite openly, that I have next to zero chance of getting good medication because I wasn't diagnosed as a child, and if I had it, I would already know. So much for care As if ADHD was ever taken seriously in '90s Eastern Europe. My younger siblings both have it diagnosed, my sister is on Ritalin, my mom has the same issues (she hates taking medication, so she's not looking for a diagnosis), but I'm supposed to be the only who is just lazy or something. Living my life on the hardest difficulty, as if it were Dark Souls. Where's my Stardew Valley life?

I'm trying to get into a private specialized center, but guess what? You need a recommendation from a psychiatrist to get diagnosed there, my little catch-22 hell. Costs an arm and a leg, too, and the waiting list is 10 months long!

Hopefully you don't have it so bad, but if you struggle with it at least a little bit, then I'm really sorry. I know how much it can suck

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I have so much executive dysfunction as well. It makes my life significantly harder to do and sadly it makes ctb harder for me to do as well. I feel like I wasn't meant to be a human because I certainly can't function like one (not that I want to but I at least wished that I could function enough to ctb)

 

[untothedepths]

Thanks for the explanation, never heard of this before but it sounds like something I might be experiencing.

 

[foreverfalling]

Yes there's another thread about feeling too tired to do anything. I think that describes it, everything feels so tiresome to do.

Say I simply wanted to buy something nice to eat. Well that would involve changing my clothes, and deciding what to wear. I'd have to remember to bring my keys, phone, wallet. Then make sure I've turned things off in the house. Walk to the garage and open the garage door, then close it once I'm out. Drive the car, and making sure to drive it safely and to avoid all the other idiots zooming around on the road. Then find parking. Oh parking is the worst, I have to change my attention from front to back to each mirror in the car many different times. Then I'd have to consider the price of what I'm buying. I haven't even mentioned choosing a place to eat the food. It has to be nice and quiet to enjoy the food. And I'd have to fucking park the car again!

So you can see a wanting to do something leads to having to do all these other things that take a lot of effort and so I end up just not doing what I wanted to do in the first place.

It seems to me 'neurotypical' people go on auto pilot and just do things without thinking. But when I try to do something, everything takes manual cognition and effort to achieve, and I seem to care and consider about things no one else cares about, which is why everything is so difficult.

 

[surroundedbydemons]

how can it be fixed?

meth (jk)

Stimulants can work. MPH, Adderall, Vyvanse, and even something as simple as caffeine can give you the boost you need. The problem is that the solution only works in the short run: you will occasionally need to "reset" your receptors, and the stims will stop working if you discontinue taking them.

I suggest you try one of each and see which works for alleviating the symptoms. When you are on them, I recommend that you try to analyze what you are doing differently or what impulses you are experiencing (you can write them down on a small notepad). That way, you will become more aware of the things you are/were doing, and you will be able to think about how to deal with those impulses when you are not on drugs. That works in the long run.

~~~
It is all about maintaining your focus.
A tip: always ask yourself, "What am I doing now? Why am I doing it? What should I be doing now?"
If you are struggling with this, you can write those three questions on your hands (other people can find it silly, but whatever - why do you need to gaf)

 

[m4rius]

meth (jk)

Stimulants can work. MPH, Adderall, Vyvanse, and even something as simple as caffeine can give you the boost you need. The problem is that the solution only works in the short run: you will occasionally need to "reset" your receptors, and the stims will stop working if you discontinue taking them.

I suggest you try one of each and see which works for alleviating the symptoms. When you are on them, I recommend that you try to analyze what you are doing differently or what impulses you are experiencing (you can write them down on a small notepad). That way, you will become more aware of the things you are/were doing, and you will be able to think about how to deal with those impulses when you are not on drugs. That works in the long run.

~~~
It is all about maintaining your focus.
A tip: always ask yourself, "What am I doing now? Why am I doing it? What should I be doing now?"
If you are struggling with this, you can write those three questions on your hands (other people can find it silly, but whatever - why do you need to gaf)

I suffer quite a bit from ADHD, the only stims available for me are Ritalin and Concerta. There's also Modafinil.

Ritalin and Concerta give me energy but hardly tackle the executive dysfunction part, it exacerbates the tunnel vision symptom so badly, making it more difficult to switch tasks which is the opposite that I need.

I'll try Modafinil and maybe some other experimental stuff. It's so tiresome.

 

[sserafim]

I have executive dysfunction due to AuDHD. It's difficult for me to do anything. I especially struggle with initiating tasks, and I always put off everything until the last minute. I just don't have any motivation to do anything until the deadline is near. Then the pressure motivates me and I get it done. Sometimes I don't even finish it in time. I'm a severe procrastinator. My whole life has been one big form of procrastination. I took ADHD meds in high school and college: first Ritalin and then Adderall. I don't take anything now though

meth (jk)

Stimulants can work. MPH, Adderall, Vyvanse, and even something as simple as caffeine can give you the boost you need. The problem is that the solution only works in the short run: you will occasionally need to "reset" your receptors, and the stims will stop working if you discontinue taking them.

I suggest you try one of each and see which works for alleviating the symptoms. When you are on them, I recommend that you try to analyze what you are doing differently or what impulses you are experiencing (you can write them down on a small notepad). That way, you will become more aware of the things you are/were doing, and you will be able to think about how to deal with those impulses when you are not on drugs. That works in the long run.

~~~
It is all about maintaining your focus.
A tip: always ask yourself, "What am I doing now? Why am I doing it? What should I be doing now?"
If you are struggling with this, you can write those three questions on your hands (other people can find it silly, but whatever - why do you need to gaf)

Why are you calling it MPH? Are you a healthcare professional? Lol

Oh man, that pretty much sums up my life, I know about this term. It literally ruined my life without any hope of getting it back. I had soooo much potential.

The worst thing is that it prevents you from doing things you'd love to do. I know what I want, exactly what to do, everything is planned and easy, broken down to elementary tasks. I have both mental and physical energy to do it, I WANT to do it. Right there, right now, I'm excited. My mind tries to move my body, but my body doesn't listen and just sits there, torturing me with regret. It's like if I get satisfied by the idea of doing something, but doing it for real gives me no reward so my brain just ignores it.

So being good at your job? Forget it. Having hobbies? No chance. Take good care of yourself? Good luck. Maintaining good relationships? Nope.

I've spent two years in therapy just for this, with no help. You hear about emotional regulation, different time management techniques, internal vs. external motivation, discipline - it's all a bandage over a broken bone. I gave it everything with zero result. You do learn to cope with it a little bit, but life is just terrible if you struggle with this.

I think I might have undiagnosed ADHD (maybe without hyperactivity). I've scheduled yet another appointment with a psychiatrist. The thing is, I was told last time, quite openly, that I have next to zero chance of getting good medication because I wasn't diagnosed as a child, and if I had it, I would already know. So much for care As if ADHD was ever taken seriously in '90s Eastern Europe. My younger siblings both have it diagnosed, my sister is on Ritalin, my mom has the same issues (she hates taking medication, so she's not looking for a diagnosis), but I'm supposed to be the only who is just lazy or something. Living my life on the hardest difficulty, as if it were Dark Souls. Where's my Stardew Valley life?

I'm trying to get into a private specialized center, but guess what? You need a recommendation from a psychiatrist to get diagnosed there, my little catch-22 hell. Costs an arm and a leg, too, and the waiting list is 10 months long!

Hopefully you don't have it so bad, but if you struggle with it at least a little bit, then I'm really sorry. I know how much it can suck

My sister has ADHD too and she takes Elvanse for it. I think there's probably a genetic component to ADHD

 

[surroundedbydemons]

I suffer quite a bit from ADHD, the only stims available for me are Ritalin and Concerta. There's also Modafinil.

Ritalin and Concerta give me energy but hardly tackle the executive dysfunction part, it exacerbates the tunnel vision symptom so badly, making it more difficult to switch tasks which is the opposite that I need.

I'll try Modafinil and maybe some other experimental stuff. It's so tiresome.

Are you based in Europe? I think Elvanse (Vyvanse) is also available there. You can ask your psychiatrist.

I can relate to your experience with Concerta (not Ritalin) as I didn't notice any significant improvement even with various doses (18, 27, 36, 54, 72 mg).
Modafinil, for me, mainly provided wakefulness without the caffeine jitters, but not much beyond that.

Best of luck to you. Wishing you the best in your experiments.

 

[m4rius]

Are you based in Europe? I think Elvanse (Vyvanse) is also available there. You can ask your psychiatrist.

I can relate to your experience with Concerta (not Ritalin) as I didn't notice any significant improvement even with various doses (18, 27, 36, 54, 72 mg).
Modafinil, for me, mainly provided wakefulness without the caffeine jitters, but not much beyond that.

Best of luck to you. Wishing you the best in your experiments.

Only a few EU countries have Vyvanse, mine doesn't.

Have you looked into Bromantane? I heard it upregulates dopamine and seems to have few side effects. I've read anecdotes of it helping, it's on my list to try for ADHD.

 

[surroundedbydemons]

Why are you calling it MPH? Are you a healthcare professional? Lol

haha, I just wanted to refer to both Concerta and Ritalin without listing them separately.

 

[sserafim]

haha, I just wanted to refer to both Concerta and Ritalin without listing them separately.

They're both methylphenidate. I think Concerta is the long acting/extended release kind? Personally, I've never taken Concerta before

 

[surroundedbydemons]

Have you looked into Bromantane? I heard it upregulates dopamine and seems to have few side effects. I've read anecdotes of it helping, it's on my list to try for ADHD.

I don't know about Bromantane, but I can try Memantine as a related compound (it was on my todo list). Never heard of Bromantane, thank you for the suggestion

I can follow up in DM about the experience

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Hmm. The only stimulant I'm used to taking is caffeine but oftentimes when I'm on my way to a coffee I experience the dreaded shutdown of executive functions causing me to waste a lot of time. Sometimes caffeine doesn't even help me do what I want or need to do it just makes me energetically do nothing.

 

[m4rius]

I don't know about Bromantane, but I can try Memantine as a related compound (it was on my todo list). Never heard of Bromantane, thank you for the suggestion

I can follow up in DM about the experience

Wow. I've never heard of that either and I just read anecdotes and studies supporting its use. I'll look into it more later.

Yes, please provide a follow up via DM. I'm super interested.

 

[NSA]

They say this can be a symptom of adhd, autism, depression, or any other number of things.

It's entirely possible to be all of the above. I am.

As for normies being like this too, the difference is in the severity. Every definition in psychiatry boils down to "is x interfering with your life in a bad way?" If yes, it's a problem.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Yeah, I experience this as well, and it's a big part of why my life is so horrible; that is, why I am in the situation I'm in.
It makes it 100x harder to do what I want/need to do. So, it makes CTBing a lot harder as well.
As I said in my thread, it feels like I'm caught in an endless loop since I'm rarely able to get anything done, and doing so takes so much energy, and the right conditions, that it's unsustainable (also, alongside executive dysfunction, I have to contend with depression, anxiety, and other causes of dysfunction and psychological pain, making living even more arduous and hellish). I procrastinate everything.
Like, today I got a lot done, but I'm not even sure why, it just happened. I have little to no control over it.
I think it's due to a combination of ADHD and depression (possibly autism, too) in my case.
Sadly, nothing I've tried so far has helped. Stimulants heighten my anxiety without improving my focus by much or my executive functioning at all.

 

[thenamingofcats]

Sometimes I wonder if I could have overcome all my other challenges if I didn't have executive dysfunction. It's like the equivalent of getting out of bed everyday and jumping in a dumpster, except then I might start dumpster diving which could be productive.

I've been on the drugs, lots of caffeine, tried to come up with processes for things. Maybe I'll get a few hours of concentration a day with those things but they're self limiting. And now with the amphetamine shortage hard to come by. I think I've filled my rx twice this year.

I can say that diet and exercise have helped me but you need good executive function to do those things. Once you're in those patterns you're in, and once you're out, you're locked out. Trying to get back into it now.