Mark_Anatoly
Member
- Apr 22, 2024
- 8
Im not perfect
but the psychological impact that my past encounters with others
leaving me with a broken sense of self and a complete breakdown of my perception
have left me so utterly broken that im not normal anymore in any sense
i just want peace and love
but why does everyone turn away from me when i try in my very best to express my hopes and my genuine expression of peace
i try and talk but no words come out, everyday i feel more stuck
im a prisoner of this house, i live in the same house everyday where my r#pist and abuser lives
the same people who've verbally and mentally and physically harassed me and broken me
but some part of me wants to remain kind
so i blame myself.
i tell people to go ahead
look at me like a monster
to use me.
because im nothing but a fucking tool for everyones pleasure
im nothing
i will remain nothing
im too broken to stand up
so why stand up and choose to live?
unrelated hahs but heres a poem i wrote awhile back
Sleep, now, do dream, my love
Rest must be all that you now have
Put your hand into that warm glove
And feel its fabric, all you're left to have
Feel, feel, try and heal, now
Do not read, nor do try and know
Go quietly with the river's flow
Into that quiet abyss of depths so low
Lie down, do not take any solace
Do not take comfort, for pain always follows
and you know this
Go now, gently my love
Go down without a fight
Go now, gently my love
Into that quiet, quiet night
Let that tight noose
Embrace your neck
Let death become your light
but the psychological impact that my past encounters with others
leaving me with a broken sense of self and a complete breakdown of my perception
have left me so utterly broken that im not normal anymore in any sense
i just want peace and love
but why does everyone turn away from me when i try in my very best to express my hopes and my genuine expression of peace
i try and talk but no words come out, everyday i feel more stuck
im a prisoner of this house, i live in the same house everyday where my r#pist and abuser lives
the same people who've verbally and mentally and physically harassed me and broken me
but some part of me wants to remain kind
so i blame myself.
i tell people to go ahead
look at me like a monster
to use me.
because im nothing but a fucking tool for everyones pleasure
im nothing
i will remain nothing
im too broken to stand up
so why stand up and choose to live?
unrelated hahs but heres a poem i wrote awhile back
Sleep, now, do dream, my love
Rest must be all that you now have
Put your hand into that warm glove
And feel its fabric, all you're left to have
Feel, feel, try and heal, now
Do not read, nor do try and know
Go quietly with the river's flow
Into that quiet abyss of depths so low
Lie down, do not take any solace
Do not take comfort, for pain always follows
and you know this
Go now, gently my love
Go down without a fight
Go now, gently my love
Into that quiet, quiet night
Let that tight noose
Embrace your neck
Let death become your light