Venting Everyone is doing better than me and I don’t think it’s fair

[mya_]

I need to vent because idk who would listen to this. I feel like everyone is doing better than me, specially my old MBA's classmates. I've seen a person land a long term job after an internship that I almost got myself, but surprise! I got discarded. I've always been a top student and for what? I've suffered from bullying and for what? I can't have anything, everything gets fucked everytime. On top of all, my brother CTB'd and my two childhood dogs died all on the same year. I also think I'm autistic and that's why nobody wants to hire me. I think it's my time to have something good, I don't think I deserve this misery.

If you have any recommendation on what to do, it's welcome.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sadly, life isn't fair unfortunately. I'm sorry for all you have gone through.

As for advice, if you're hoping to succeed, I suppose it's the same for all of us. All we can do is keep trying our best in the hopes that one day, we get that break. Maybe also recognise that it may actually be more 'normal' to receive multiple rejections. From a quick Google search:

'From our previous research, we also know that companies interview an average of 6 candidates for every vacancy – giving each candidate a 1 in 6 chance of getting the job. Based on these findings, we can deduce that the average person has to make 162 job applications to land a job.'

Source: https://standout-cv.com/stats/how-m...vious research, we,applications to land a job.

So really, it was your friend that was lucky in a way. I suspect we all know people we feel really envious of who have tremendous talent/ connections/ drive. Ultimately though, we're stuck with being us and having to work within our limitations.

From there, we have choices I suppose. We may decide that the things holding us back are simply too monumental to overcome so, we settle for less. I guess you have to decide on whether you are personally comfortable with doing that.

If not. If you still want to strive to get your dream career, then it's simply a whole lot of work, perseverance, hope really. Plus, facing unpleasant things. If/ when you get rejected, try to get feedback as to why- so that you know where you need to put in the work. Do you have enough qualifications? Do you have enough experience? Either of them can be attained. If it's some sort of aptitude failing, I guess that's especially upsetting but I suppose there are things we can all do to make ourselves easier to work with.

It's a struggle for a great deal of people though. I just think things like social media tend to portray perfect lives. Plus, some people do just seem to get the breaks more than others. I imagine most have to work really hard for it though.

 

[whyidon'tknow]

No such thing as fair in this world. Sorry you are struggling. Sending you love and kindness

 

[derpyderpins]

Job and application rejection is brutal. I got randomly fired a bit over a year ago now. It's awful to realize the people who call it a "machine" or similar are right: to the employer, you are not a person, just a tool.

The only comfort I can give is that the feeling that everyone is doing better than you is a lie your brain tells yourself. It's understandable, because the awful job application system isolates you and makes you feel exactly that way. Add in social media, even LinkedIn, where you get to only see successes but not the other people who haven't had any recently. But people are struggling. A LOT of people are struggling like you. And then you've had your personal losses (I'm so sorry for that) on top of everything, it's very understandable that you would feel despair right now.

My advice for right now is to honestly evaluate the situation and be easier on yourself. You are not uniquely failing, but you have suffered emotional blows that most people aren't having to deal with. You're still standing, taking punches, and looking for how to get out of this rut. It speaks greatly to your resilience and character. This is just objective. When you're hit with a ton of stuff it is important to step back and be real with yourself with both the good and bad.

 

[mya_]

Sadly, life isn't fair unfortunately. I'm sorry for all you have gone through.

As for advice, if you're hoping to succeed, I suppose it's the same for all of us. All we can do is keep trying our best in the hopes that one day, we get that break. Maybe also recognise that it may actually be more 'normal' to receive multiple rejections. From a quick Google search:

'From our previous research, we also know that companies interview an average of 6 candidates for every vacancy – giving each candidate a 1 in 6 chance of getting the job. Based on these findings, we can deduce that the average person has to make 162 job applications to land a job.'

Source: https://standout-cv.com/stats/how-many-applications-to-get-a-job#:~:text=From our previous research, we,applications to land a job.

So really, it was your friend that was lucky in a way. I suspect we all know people we feel really envious of who have tremendous talent/ connections/ drive. Ultimately though, we're stuck with being us and having to work within our limitations.

From there, we have choices I suppose. We may decide that the things holding us back are simply too monumental to overcome so, we settle for less. I guess you have to decide on whether you are personally comfortable with doing that.

If not. If you still want to strive to get your dream career, then it's simply a whole lot of work, perseverance, hope really. Plus, facing unpleasant things. If/ when you get rejected, try to get feedback as to why- so that you know where you need to put in the work. Do you have enough qualifications? Do you have enough experience? Either of them can be attained. If it's some sort of aptitude failing, I guess that's especially upsetting but I suppose there are things we can all do to make ourselves easier to work with.

It's a struggle for a great deal of people though. I just think things like social media tend to portray perfect lives. Plus, some people do just seem to get the breaks more than others. I imagine most have to work really hard for it though.

Thank you for the extended input, I agree with what you say. The thing is, I consider myself quite unlucky and, despite the fact that I'm very qualified for what I want, there's always someone luckier who gets the opportunity. Idk what to do, it's been a pretty rough year.

Job and application rejection is brutal. I got randomly fired a bit over a year ago now. It's awful to realize the people who call it a "machine" or similar are right: to the employer, you are not a person, just a tool.

The only comfort I can give is that the feeling that everyone is doing better than you is a lie your brain tells yourself. It's understandable, because the awful job application system isolates you and makes you feel exactly that way. Add in social media, even LinkedIn, where you get to only see successes but not the other people who haven't had any recently. But people are struggling. A LOT of people are struggling like you. And then you've had your personal losses (I'm so sorry for that) on top of everything, it's very understandable that you would feel despair right now.

My advice for right now is to honestly evaluate the situation and be easier on yourself. You are not uniquely failing, but you have suffered emotional blows that most people aren't having to deal with. You're still standing, taking punches, and looking for how to get out of this rut. It speaks greatly to your resilience and character. This is just objective. When you're hit with a ton of stuff it is important to step back and be real with yourself with both the good and bad.

Wow, thanks for that replay. It means a lot to me to be seen, I guess that's why I posted here. Thanks again I'll try to be kinder with myself and also not to be too obsessed with the job market