Discussion ever wished you were normal and okay?

[Saga]

as the title is...ever wished of this?


I wish i was,I wish i wasnt mentally fucked up and didnt get abused...

 

[komm susser todd]

Ive thought about it but then i wouldnt have come to certain insights about life that i would never have considered had i not been different and thus had time to look into and think about

So nah, in a wierd way i like being broken

 

[theuninstallbutton]

Yes. I have wished hard to be straight and cis and normal. Even wanted to go to conversion therapy but that shit is illegal here.

 

[andy69]

Yes. Everything looks so easy for everyone else.

 

[TimeToDie]

I spent 46 years wishing that. And for 45 of those years I was delusional enough to believe that things would be better in the future.

 

[bath salts]

Looking at my peers, oblivious and smiling while exaggerating how horrible their lives are... yeah I wish that were me.

Yes. I have wished hard to be straight and cis and normal. Even wanted to go to conversion therapy but that shit is illegal here.

I'm sorry you feel that way :( Getting told you're going to rape all your friends because you're a lesbian made me wish I was normal. Here I am, totally 100% straight as a board and normie as hell. Wish I could be happy this way. Much love to you

 

[DoneWithThis]

Maybe we're the normal ones actually. The ones that see the world how it really is. Seeing the beauty and good moments in it, but simply not capable of ignoring the pain and anguish. Maybe we're just more rational and honest. Maybe other people, people we consider normal, are just better at playing pretend, at being delusional, at... Okay I'm going to stop here because I'm ranting.

 

[Saga]

Maybe we're the normal ones actually. The ones that see the world how it really is. Seeing the beauty and good moments in it, but simply not capable of ignoring the pain and anguish. Maybe we're just more rational and honest. Maybe other people, people we consider normal, are just better at playing pretend, at being delusional, at... Okay I'm going to stop here because I'm ranting.

this i believe is true...maybe they are not really normal coz they feel pain...but at the same time wouldnt you want to forget everything even for just one day?

Ive thought about it but then i wouldnt have come to certain insights about life that i would never have considered had i not been different and thus had time to look into and think about

So nah, in a wierd way i like being broken

being broken is a wonderful thing but at the same time isnt it tiring?

 

[Asta]

And who is the judge who determines what is "normal" or "abnormal"? Psychiatrists? Please!!

 

[seekingoblivion]

Yeah I often wish I was normal and enjoyed life enough to not think about ctb as soon as I wake up everyday. But that ain't happening. So now I wish to purchase a strong rope for my departure.

 

[deltahead]

can't really answer as those states are almost entirely relative. i don't know what being "normal" would entail for me. i guess being more in tune with my brain chemistry and instincts? that would facilitate things like "love" or "happiness" and give me the illusion of meaning or progress or whatever i need to keep this lie afloat, but it wouldn't "fix" me. it would just make everything look prettier, and i'd operate under the false assumption that i'm a good person or i deserve to be alive.

 

[TimeToDie]

And who is the judge who determines what is "normal" or "abnormal"? Psychiatrists? Please!!

I understand "normal" to mean "happy." Normal folks are so content with life that they're not on this forum planning their own demise. It's quite possible that such normal folks are only reasonably satisfied with being alive due to being delusional about how life, on balance, is negative. Though happy & delusion looks far better than clearly seeing reality with a gun in your mouth.

 

[seekingoblivion]

Ive thought about it but then i wouldnt have come to certain insights about life that i would never have considered had i not been different and thus had time to look into and think about

So nah, in a wierd way i like being broken

I used to feel this way too. Quite strongly infact. But I realized that I was the only one who was properly miserable while others had problems but enjoyed much of life enough to question why anyone would want to end it. Thus I have come to conclude there's no real benefit to being broken. At least none I see for myself.

 

[Broken Chimera]

Yeah. I wished that for over half of my life. I also wished that I hit the lottery. But wishes never come true. It's just like prayer, Completely useless.

 

[Seven]

Hell yeah all the time, i wish i was normal enough where i didnt have to rely on online to get the socializing i need. I wish i could just go out and meet new people but its up to me, this is my backup plan if i fail so at this point it doesnt matter if i fuck up

 

[Darkhaven]

As a child and even as a teen i actually liked the idea of being different from everybody else.
Now as a young adult i can definately say i wish i was a "normal person" with a "normal life".
Everything to not end up in this misererable existence.

 

[lookin4areason]

of course. something as simple as people watching just makes me feel more so how normal i'm NOT. :(

 

[komm susser todd]

being broken is a wonderful thing but at the same time isnt it tiring?

Pretty much, which is exactly why i decided ending myself is the best coure of action

 

[Saga]

Hell yeah all the time, i wish i was normal enough where i didnt have to rely on online to get the socializing i need. I wish i could just go out and meet new people but its up to me, this is my backup plan if i fail so at this point it doesnt matter if i fuck up

were the same...

 

[Livinginhell]

Yes, whatever you class as normal. To have "normal" thoughts and feelings. To be able to love and be loved, with 2.4 kids, a job, enough money to provide and at least half a social life.

 

[Painted Bird]

No. Seeing those "normal" people is bad enough, watching them dance around and trash the "place" in their selfish pursuit for what they call "happiness".

 

[Vegetto]

I wish every day that my body never betrayed me, and instead behaved the way 99% of human bodies behave when exposed to new environments. I wish it wasn't so prone to inflammation and crapping out so easily, which would've prevented this entire mess to begin with. So, yes, I do wish I was more "normal". Nobody's system is perfect, but most people's systems have some resilience. Most people can adapt to their environments at least somewhat. My body has always been inept, incompetent, lazy, and possibly even malicious. I hate it more than I hate anything else, and it's not even close. I sometimes look at ending my life as less of a suicide and more of a murder against a treasonous body (and isn't treason punishable by death in most countries anyway?). It also helps me deal with the pain that ending myself will do to my friends and family - after all, I didn't ask for this body. It's not me who's going to cause them the pain of losing me - it's my body. THAT is the cause of all of this, which makes me innocent in a way.

Sometimes being more normal would be a good thing. I can't imagine how much easier my life would've been if I'd been born into an even remotely acceptable body.

 

[Dawn0071111]

Yes. i am still trying for it. If I fail. I will die.

 

[a_strange_day]

I spent the major part of my life believing I was the normal one. I couldn't understand how people could live the way they did, work, children, marriage, divorce, etc, always the same endless cycle. it's like I felt sorry for them, they couldn't stop themselves from doing it

then one day I woke up, I realized how delusionnal I was, what I really was, how dare I judge them

 

[not_a_robot]

"Normal" people are anything but ok. They're gross hypocrites, liars and zombies. I never want to be the kind of phony, dull-witted pathological liar who passes for "normal" in this fucked-up society.

this i believe is true...maybe they are not really normal coz they feel pain...but at the same time wouldnt you want to forget everything even for just one day?

being broken is a wonderful thing but at the same time isnt it tiring?

Don't "normal" lives look exhausting? Keeping up that false pretense of being so goddamned happy all the time. Attending constant obligatory social functions, to constantly put on a show of being so happy. Struggling to never say anything too different from peers, or risk social rejection.

Normal lives just look miserable to me. They always look so goddamn happy, even when they're neglecting their kid or cheating on their spouse.
Normal people are disgusting, nothing about them is ever real, it's all a mindless pantomime.

 

[Saga]

"Normal" people are anything but ok. They're gross hypocrites, liars and zombies. I never want to be the kind of phony, dull-witted pathological liar who passes for "normal" in this fucked-up society.

Don't "normal" lives look exhausting? Keeping up that false pretense of being so goddamned happy all the time. Attending constant obligatory social functions, to constantly put on a show of being so happy. Struggling to never say anything too different from peers, or risk social rejection.

Normal lives just look miserable to me. They always look so goddamn happy, even when they're neglecting their kid or cheating on their spouse.
Normal people are disgusting, nothing about them is ever real, it's all a mindless pantomime.

i have to agree with this...maybe im delusional that being normal was okay...it meant happiness but at the same time i keep torturing myself try to claw at happiness which i know will never happen

 

[Beautifulletdown]

as the title is...ever wished of this?


I wish i was,I wish i wasnt mentally fucked up and didnt get abused...

I wish that too friend. I wish that too. I would love to be okay and "normal", whatever that means. I'm a sorry sack of shit. I wish that wasn't the case every second I breath.

 

[JWL]

But I AM normal and OK...

 

[Numbtopain97]

yes

 

[Donewith_]

If i was normal.. and didnt have to face all the crap i have faced.