Hi! First of all, I'd like to thank you all for all your replies and for trying to help. I didn't expect this thread to generate so much interest! I have to admit, I felt bad posting it here because I knew it wouldn't contribute anything, that it would just clutter the forum, that no one would respond, because no one would even have the opportunity to respond to something so irrelevant—and this time, it turned out to be quite the opposite.
Of all the topics you've raised, I'd like to address one, the most important one—that all these beautiful, wonderful, joyful people also have certain, often very serious, problems. I greatly appreciate that this was pointed out, but at the same time, I must admit that I, of course, am fully aware of this as well. Sometimes, even in the midst of the feelings I feel and have shared in this thread, I also think about the fact that this wonderful, incredible person also has significant problems. That perhaps they're being treated poorly by their family, that perhaps they have people in their life who aren't fair to them, that perhaps various other aspects of life, of which there's a whole range, aren't going their way.
But at the same time, regardless of all the problems they have, their lives remain wonderful precisely because they're wonderful in the most important aspect, the one that determines the rest of their lives: how others treat them. These people are adored by everyone, everyone treats them wonderfully, everyone immediately sees them very well, everyone wants to talk to them, wants to be friends with them, wants to spend time with them.
In this aspect of life that's most important, life has turned out wonderfully for them, and with this aspect, the rest of their lives will also turn out very well for them. Or—even if there are difficulties and problems—they won't matter so much, because life in its most important part will be wonderful, and that will be the only thing that matters, or it will compensate for everything else.
Meanwhile, I'm autistic and repulsive-looking, and in this aspect of life that is most important and determines everything else, everything has gone terribly wrong for me. I have no way to interact with anyone, connect with anyone, let alone talk to someone, make friends, or spend time with anyone. Almost everything in life requires the participation of another person, which means that almost everything in my life is inaccessible. Those individual things that, in theory, you can do on your own, even in practice, even if you lead such a terrible life, are impossible to do and enjoy. I'm repulsive to everyone because of my autism and my appearance. Everyone looks down on me negatively, no one wants to have anything to do with me—and I can't do anything to change that or make them realize how wrong they are. If you look repulsive and seem retarded, no one wants to have anything to do with you—that's all. In this situation, living such a terrible life, it's hard to take comfort in the fact that people who lead generally wonderful lives also have problems.
My life is so terrible that no ordinary problems (that all of those wonderful people do have) really matter compared to my main problem. For example, I'm just finishing university and will soon be trying to start a job. "Be trying", because no one will want to hire a retarded and repulsive-looking person. If they do, my work will be a chore every moment of it (I really know what I'm talking about), and at the beginning of it, I will potentially be unpaid for it, or at best, I will be earning the minimum wage in the country for a very long time after my supposedly second-most demanding studies. And for example, something like that isn't a problem for me at all. I don't worry about it. My life is so terrible that earning ridiculous amounts of money won't be a problem at all. For example, because I'll never have the opportunity to use it in such a life anyway. Just as all the theoretically positive things in such a life have no meaning in such a life. Barring a catastrophe, I could soon be declared the supposedly "best student" in (again, supposedly) the second-hardest and most prestigious major at one of the best universities in my country. And as you can see, that means nothing when my life is so awful. And the fact that it means nothing isn't a mental disorder or inadequate thinking on my part, but simply that, in such a terrible life, none of those theoretically positive things matter.
