Euphoria from partial hanging

[OnMyLast Legs]

Something strange just happened. I put the noose around my neck and knelt down in my closet, putting significant pressure on my neck. When I stood up I felt a pleasurable sensation throughout my body and it scared me.

It felt good, and I hated it because it felt good. The break from my usual misery seemed unwarranted. The incongruity of mind and sensation seemed wrong and I wanted it to end.

I imagine fading into unconsciousness but a blood choke produces a strange exhilaration that disrupts it.

Has anyone else experienced this?

P.S. I am taking this as a sign that partial is viable. I think I have a spot and a position.

Edit: Oh man. The tingliness in extremities is intense. Good news is I've found the sweet spot but holy crap, this is not going to sleep. Hanging is a painful death. Then how do so many people do it? Maybe you only feel it after you abort the attempt.

 

[insectontrial]

Yep, been there. I had the exact same feeling as you when I first attempted it.

 

[DeathByBananabread]

Shocked that people here don't know about autoerotic asphyxiation, but I guess that's not really a normal thing to know about, is it?

It's not uncommon for hanging to the point of almost passing out to do that, some people chase it sexually, it's lead to a few accidental deaths. I'm not entirely sure how it works or why, or how people pull it off consistently, I just know of the concept, it was used as a joke (later played seriously) in BoJack Horseman.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

@DeathByBananabread I've heard of it, I guess I thought you had to be doing something sexual already. But I have heard the legend of the mandrake--hanged men often ejaculate, which some said led to little human plants sprouting up.

I just didn't expect hanging to involve such a rush. In martial arts they just refer to going to sleep, but then again those guys are stressed and struggling.

Forget FSH. If I successfully cut off blood flow with partial, which it now looks like I can do, I'm going to be slammed with a physical sensation.

I'm happy to have found a good partial position, but the plot thickens!

 

[insectontrial]

I'll admit it unsettled me to begin with as well. On the Internet you often read or hear stories of people who survived attempts. I watched a video about a man who survived jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge, and he said he felt instant regret. Whereas when I attempted a partial hanging, I didn't feel any regret at all - quite the opposite, a pleasant feeling in fact, almost like my brain was telling me I was doing the right thing.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I'll admit it unsettled me to begin with as well. On the Internet you often read or hear stories of people who survived attempts. I watched a video about a man who survived jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge, and he said he felt instant regret. Whereas when I attempted a partial hanging, I didn't feel any regret at all - quite the opposite, a pleasant feeling in fact, almost like my brain was telling me I was doing the right thing.

The crazy thing is that the pleasantness is what alarmed me. It felt like I was out of touch with reality. I wanted to go back to feeling like shit, fall asleep that way, and never wake up. I've become comfortable in my misery.

 

[insectontrial]

I think I understand - for me, it felt like I'd had an epiphany that all the anti-suicide campaigns and charities were incorrect in their approach. They always say it gets better, that survivors regret it, and that suicide is something we have a duty to prevent. And yet there I was, feeling no regret or panic at all.

It's a genuine relief to know I'm not the only person who is critical of such campaigns, and that this place exists.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I think I understand - for me, it felt like I'd had an epiphany that all the anti-suicide campaigns and charities were incorrect in their approach. They always say it gets better, that survivors regret it, and that suicide is something we have a duty to prevent. And yet there I was, feeling no regret or panic at all.

It's a genuine relief to know I'm not the only person who is critical of such campaigns, and that this place exists.

I felt crazy regret, but not because I wanted to live in any explicit way. It was such a strange experience. I guess the closest thing to a coherent thought is that I didn't deserve to feel that good.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

My mom's coming at the end of the week. An old friend is coming to town with his band too. I have a job coming up that I can't do. The walls really seem to be closing in. Now is the time to CTB but I'm so, so scared. I worry about hell. There, I said it. What a terrible state of mind I'm in. Suicidal for 6mo, losing all function, couch or bed rotting all day doomscrolling, and I fear my wretched soul will live on in even worse (much worse) pain if I end it. I have to get over this.

 

[sadgirl1997]

My mom's coming at the end of the week. An old friend is coming to town with his band too. I have a job coming up that I can't do. The walls really seem to be closing in. Now is the time to CTB but I'm so, so scared. I worry about hell. There, I said it. What a terrible state of mind I'm in. Suicidal for 6mo, losing all function, couch or bed rotting all day doomscrolling, and I fear my wretched soul will live on in even worse (much worse) pain if I end it. I have to get over this.

I'm sorry you don't deserve this pain. Sending love to you friend. Everything will be okay no matter what.