Venting Ending it by the end of january

[fyer]

I thought i would be in peace when i made that decision. And i were at the moments. But when I think about it i am crying heavily. My heart is bleeding heavily. It's torn apart. But i have to go with sn. I just dont have any other option. Probably i have nerve damage in my pelvis and its totally my fault. My stupidity. I have nerve conduction study booked, but i am so afraid of the result, i have no idea how i end up reacting. But even if it turns out negative, my problem is chronic and i cant see a perspective of recovery. I am in pain. I took a dean's leave from medical studies to recover from other problems. Thanks to it i managed to save grandma's life from brain's stroke. But wouldn't have thought i would lose mine. I became non religious but begged god for help. Now only begging for not to be sent to hell. I always dreamt of love, of something beautiful. But it wasn't meant for me. It's simply my fate.
I lost everything. Please, just keep your finger crossed for a peaceful ending.

 

[EnculerParLaVie]

Hope you have a peaceful death. I should be gone soon too. I sure hope hell isn't real

 

[dalemar]

I am in pain as well, and this crap has no cure, I will be doing SN as well.
I hope you find your well deserved peace, and that everything goes well and as peaceful as possible.

 

[fyer]

I am in pain as well, and this crap has no cure, I will be doing SN as well.
I hope you find your well deserved peace, and that everything goes well and as peaceful as possible.

What pain do you experience if i could ask

 

[madameviolette]

Why is your pelvic pain your fault ?

 

[Realog11]

Hope you have a peaceful death. I should be gone soon too. I sure hope hell isn't real

Same

I am in pain as well, and this crap has no cure, I will be doing SN as well.
I hope you find your well deserved peace, and that everything goes well and as peaceful as possible.

I also have pelvic pain I miss my old pelvic from 2019

 

[fyer]

Why is your pelvic pain your fault ?

Because ive had problems with hair loss, did a hair transplant and it looks kind of goot. but i didn't wait for the outcome and used fucking poison which is finasteride. Topically. For just 3 days. at first it seemed like prostatitis, and now i get nerve-like pains randomly in that area. I had known finasteride is dangerous. Known that i should have never touched it. but did it, because the 'doctor' recommended so and claimed thats totally safe

Same

I also have pelvic pain I miss my old pelvic from 2019

2019... I cry when i think of that year. my prime. i am only 22 and everyrhing is ruined

 

[madameviolette]

Because ive had problems with hair loss, did a hair transplant and it looks kind of goot. but i didn't wait for the outcome and used fucking poison which is finasteride. Topically. For just 3 days. at first it seemed like prostatitis, and now i get nerve-like pains randomly in that area. I had known finasteride is dangerous. Known that i should have never touched it. but did it, because the 'doctor' recommended so and claimed thats totally safe

Ah yes I heard finasteride is not good, sorry this happened to you

 

[Realog11]

Because ive had problems with hair loss, did a hair transplant and it looks kind of goot. but i didn't wait for the outcome and used fucking poison which is finasteride. Topically. For just 3 days. at first it seemed like prostatitis, and now i get nerve-like pains randomly in that area. I had known finasteride is dangerous. Known that i should have never touched it. but did it, because the 'doctor' recommended so and claimed thats totally safe

2019... I cry when i think of that year. my prime. i am only 22 and everyrhing is ruined

I am also 22 but didn't turn 22 yet lol I was born in 2004

 

[dalemar]

What pain do you experience if i could ask

Full body, constant.

 

[fyer]

I am also 22 but didn't turn 22 yet lol I was born in 2004

Is your pain constant? my is intermittent but here everyday. just random stingings, stronger or weaker. i'd love to believe that its psychosomatic because sometimes they happen in random parts of the body. but way less frequent. but i dont have such hope, i dont think its possible

 

[Realog11]

Is your pain constant? my is intermittent but here everyday. just random stingings, stronger or weaker. i'd love to believe that its psychosomatic because sometimes they happen in random parts of the body. but way less frequent. but i dont have such hope, i dont think its possible

My pain is just random comes at random moments, my pelvic feels a lot weaker and loose

 

[madameviolette]

Is your pain constant? my is intermittent but here everyday. just random stingings, stronger or weaker. i'd love to believe that its psychosomatic because sometimes they happen in random parts of the body. but way less frequent. but i dont have such hope, i dont think its possible

I'm no one to tell you what to do but I'd not ctb for that reason. If it's intermittent and localized you have chances of recovering. I'd stay away from pharmaceuticals though. They are more likely to cause more damage than add real value

 

[fyer]

I'm no one to tell you what to do but I'd ctb for that reason. If it's intermittent and localized you have chances of recovering. I'd stay away from pharmaceuticals though. They are more likely to cause more damage than add real value

You meant you wouldn't ctb? my friend says that its due to anxiety and tension but its really hard to believe

 

[madameviolette]

You meant you wouldn't ctb? my friend says that its due to anxiety and tension but its really hard to believe

Yes sorry I made a mistake, I edited my post

 

[fyer]

The reason which pushes me towards ctb i have chronic tension headaches also (sometimes they get better but it doesnt make me happier because these pelvic issues and it always comes back) and huge anxiety related to these nerve pains, like paralysing that i cant focus on anything else and i am all tensed up and scared

Yes sorry I made a mistake, I edited my post

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Wishing you freedom from this miserable planet.