Venting Dreams tear reality apart and I'm lost in my own paranoid delusions

[lifelover0037]

For the past six months, I have had nightmares almost every night, including family abuse, bullying, self-harm and suicide.When I recall events, I can't tell if something happened in a dream or in the real world because they're so similar to my trauma, This obviously leads to my judgment of other people for example, I always dream that someone is beating me but in real life he is not out of character and then my mind keeps telling me that everyone around me is hostile to me and it has always been so that I am afraid and hate everyone around me and the world is terrible in my eyes I wanted someone to help me but I was desperately worried about being emotionally or mentally abused. My suicidal thoughts got so bad that I was in a constant state of panic it was midnight in my area but I still couldn't sleep and the fear of sleep was biting my brain All I can fucking do now is listening to that fucking dsbm music

 

[TapeMachine]

I feel you, truly; and I am so sorry that you are experiencing that.
It's terrible when our minds won't ever stop. Sleep is supposed to be rejuvenating, right? But all I do when I sleep is dream wildly and vividly about the people, places, and things that break my heart the most. And then I awaken to "real life" again, and I feel sick to my stomach with grief, and I'm stuck under a cloud that blocks all light, and it just consumes me, these bad feelings.

My heart goes out to you. I do not wish anyone to live this way, perpetually tortured by one's own mind. ::hugs::

 

[shadows_and_silence]

i am so sorry..
i feel very similar, dreams always mess with my perception of reality. sometimes i find it helps to take a dream journal, to have something concrete and real, if you're able to