Discussion Dream world

[Fadeawaaaay]

Sometimes ( like last night) when I sleep I dream of a fantasy world where everything is fine, happy and free - back in my old life where I could pretend I was "successful" or on my way - then I wake up and reality hits. Still can't believe this is happening. Had a decent life and ruined it clinging to delusion fooling myself and others.

Now hiding in bed- as long as I don't get up I can stretch out the darkness and avoid reality.

 

[almostoutofhere]

Every day I wake up, it takes me maybe a couple seconds for my brain to start working, and then the self hate, guilt, flashbacks of everything I've done wrong begins and doesn't stop until I distract myself somehow. And then repeat the next day

 

[Un-]

Now hiding in bed- as long as I don't get up I can stretch out the darkness and avoid reality.

I know about avoiding reality.. Life is just so unbelievable horrible that its terrifying to see it for what it is. Distractions don't distract you, but they do prevent you from remembering how awful your life is.

Ugh.. Why am I still here? I don't know..

 

[SeeminglyFine]

I used to hate sleeping because of that, it later got worse when my dream fantasies became suicides, id wake up while im in the air after jumping, stressed out and wishing i didnt wake up.

 

[SamTam33]

OP, do you mind going into detail about how you messed everything up?

I've been coming back to your post for the last couple of hours and reading it over and over.

I messed my life up too with a few stupid (alcohol induced) decisions. And I can't stop obsessing about it.

I used to be able to pretend to have it all together. I slowly worked my way up the ladder and was making far more money than I deserved.

I don't get a lot of second chances when it comes to things like love and success and I can't get past the fact that I squandered my only opportunities.

 

[hopelessgirl]

This night I had a dream where I was completely different multiple persons during the dream in another era. It felt so good to finally have a break from my miserable life. Usually in my dreams I am still myself. But this one was different.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Sometimes ( like last night) when I sleep I dream of a fantasy world where everything is fine, happy and free - back in my old life where I could pretend I was "successful" or on my way - then I wake up and reality hits. Still can't believe this is happening. Had a decent life and ruined it clinging to delusion fooling myself and others.

Now hiding in bed- as long as I don't get up I can stretch out the darkness and avoid reality.

Don't be afraid... Confront it... Your anxiety and stress is trying to push you into action.

And then bring your dream to life. It starts with you. It doesn't matter which path you take, just do it.

(Not saying it to be insensitive, just using my experience as I relate to you deeply.)

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly so dreadful having to wake up into an existence that just causes you to suffer and I believe that it's true for many people that dreams are preferable to the cruel, harsh reality of this existence. I just think that existing really is so disappointing and it sounds like it must be painful wishing for the better times that you once had in the past. It does seem like so many people spend their existences wishing for what they are unable to achieve, with anything that is perceived as being positive just existing to inevitably cause more suffering to be experienced. Life certainly is very terrible and tragic, no wonder so many ctb to free themselves from all this.

 

[Darkover]

the dream world will never be anywhere as bad as the real world, the dream would offers everything the real world offers death

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

OP, do you mind going into detail about how you messed everything up?

I've been coming back to your post for the last couple of hours and reading it over and over.

I messed my life up too with a few stupid (alcohol induced) decisions. And I can't stop obsessing about it.

I used to be able to pretend to have it all together. I slowly worked my way up the ladder and was making far more money than I deserved.

I don't get a lot of second chances when it comes to things like love and success and I can't get past the fact that I squandered my only opportunities.

Going back decades to grade school not understanding how the world works… suffering childhood neglect and anxiety I assumed things worked out - crippling depression took the fight out of me… now I'm just an empty husk going through the motions… letting friendships whither… letting savings dry up… antidepressants kept me moving forward but stopping them the delusions evaporated leaving stark realities of doom… wish I'd learned to be a fighter as a kid … spent my childhood ruminating… cultivating depression …