Venting don't know what to do anymore

[toolatebluesky]

Last friday I was supposed to try ctb by CO, but I got scared and couldn't do it. Last year I tried CO too, but the smell of smoke was so strong that I panicked because I didn't feel I was dying fast enough. That time I didn't do enough research to get scared before doing it, but last friday all I could think of was bad scenarios.

When I was 18 I tried to kms by taking pills. Lots of them. I went to sleep and woke up vomiting. I was so sick that I vomited blood. I didn't go to the hospital, and to this day I can't take pills because my body just reject them. When I was 23 I tried again by asphyxia and I failed.

Now I'm thinking about jumping, but I don't know where, and also I'm afraid that is not gonna work because I really have bad luck.

I'm so sick of this life and I don't know how to die. I'm in so much mental pain and I feel no one gets me. I just can't function like a normal person. I'm so tired, guys. So fucking tired.

 

[Meteora]

Maybe you re caught in between life and death. That s how I feel. I attempted some years ago, came to hospital and survived.
If you wanna talk I m ready to listen.
Life is tough, very much so.

 

[wagner2029]

You could try the nitrogen method, from what I've researched the most it's the best, I did a test, in 30 seconds my vision went dark, blood oxygenation dropped from 98% to 60% with just two breaths.
60 seconds, loss of consciousness, 2 minutes permanent brain damage, 5 minutes brain death.
There is an ebook on Amazon.