Largeletters

Largeletters

Alone
Jan 21, 2020
640
You shouldn't be sorry that you didn't CTB, no one here will be angry at you for not doing so.
I'm sorry you have to go through that with your feelings on top of it. It sounds very claustrophobic. I hope you can get out of this situation, or at least the room, very soon. We're all here and rooting for you, Quarky!
 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2019
1,956
You shouldn't be sorry that you didn't CTB, no one here will be angry at you for not doing so.
Way off lol .. I'm in dire state -- fuck all if people are angry :haha:

I'm sorry I did not ctb because things are bad . Nothing to do with members . I know you meant well , had to clarify that... :hug:
 
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Lostandfound7

Lostandfound7

Just waiting....
Jan 21, 2020
995
Your support (all of you) gives me a lifeline .. knowing that there are other possible [emergency] options , to take a break from this shit , or that people 'have my back' or something .. thanks :heart: I trust it more than docs and safe house , because it's honest and genuine . The problem is I cannot handle temporary solutions or surprises anymore . I'm tired of fixing something (really fighting and giving 200%) only for everything to be ruined few days afterwards , by some events that changes everything (that few would withstand- regardless of physical or mental issues).



Yeah .. Surprisingly that's the least disturbing thing here.Couple of insects (very small btw) are not the problem , just the icing on the cake
Just pictured them on a cake.the "icing" on the cake. :hihi:
Ty for that visual..:pfff:
 
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Largeletters

Largeletters

Alone
Jan 21, 2020
640
Way off lol .. I'm in dire state -- fuck all if people are angry :haha:

I'm sorry I did not ctb because things are bad . Nothing to do with members . I know you meant well , had to clarify that... :hug:
Oh, even though you clarified, I apologize that I took it in wrong context. :hug:
 
nitrogen

nitrogen

Schrödinger's cat
Nov 5, 2019
339
I must add that there are cockroaches inside the microwave -- and they're still alive even after it's turned on . I do not know whether to laugh or cry .
Oh fucking hell. I'm phobic to roaches. :ohhhh: . If they're still alive after the microwave is turned on, I believe that means the roaches are dehydrated, not enough water molecules to absorb microwave and heat up quickly.

how can we not have a vomiting emoji here? it's so essential! lol)
Here you go. Imagine the square box being the microwave.
Rainbow
Wait , why should I take the hit?

I am considering taking SN in A&E (ER). That's the only way to get treated , also for my GI and pain issues (ignored otherwise) -- plus allowance and proper housing.
Hmmm.....that actually sounds like a smart idea. Though if you're in the US and don't have good health insurance, the hospital bill can be a problem. It's possible to negotiate the bill down. Some folks obviously don't pay the bill, but their credit score gets ruined and will have trouble getting loans and renting an apt in the future. I know you're not in the US, so all I can hope is the consequence of defaulting on hospital bills isn't as serious in your country.
In the past friends liked asking how I'm doing but ignored when I answered. I guess it was "too much" for them. I deeply regret helping and supporting them through the years. I was a shoulder to cry on , and I'm sorry for that. Never again. We were good friends for more than 10 years -- people are really shit.
Each person's life is like a train journey. The start and end are unique to each individual. The people they meet in their lives are like other passengers who hop on and off the train. Some stay on board longer than others, but eventually, only the individual arrives at his/her own final destination. Everybody is ultimately a loner. Following this line of thinking plus learning about Aristotle's categorization of friendships, I stopped giving a shit about friends a long time ago.
 
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Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,771
This is the only homeless charity here. It's a private organization that you have to pay for. They are not trained and just admins for housing and food. I get partial allowance and homelessness grant which are very small. It all goes to that NGO and I don't have money to buy medication. I am about to be denied allowance because I did not come to the periodical medical assessment (too sick and in pain to walk). Otherwise social workers are totally incompetent and cause more harm than help (fill forms wrong, file for wrong programs, etc) -- this was verified by others here.

Some charity they are... They're just a bunch of greedy assholes pretending to be something else, from the sound of it. I'm sorry you have to be stuck in a place like that and I wish there was something I could do to help. :hug:
 
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Lostandfound7

Lostandfound7

Just waiting....
Jan 21, 2020
995
This is the only homeless charity here. It's a private organization that you have to pay for.
That's insane! Ur PAYING for it n that's the conditions they have..?

We need to get the SS Army on this one..
Oh fucking hell. I'm phobic to roaches. :ohhhh: . If they're still alive after the microwave is turned on, I believe that means the roaches are dehydrated, not enough water molecules to absorb microwave and heat up quickly.
Ur too funny with the scientific explanation!!

@nitrogen , I don't think anyone has a worse phobia than me when it comes to roaches!!

I got HIT BY A CAR in Manhattan running into the streets from one!
I step on rats, kill scorpions, n have owned a 12 ft albino Burmese python!
BUT i am TERRIFIED of roaches!!..I think I need therapy..
 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2019
1,956
[UPDATE] Things calmed down a bit .
I fixed bed by my own initiative (Builder Quarky) , paid small bills , sent letter to landlord (all is well) , ordered meds . I used all my mobile data limit = problem . Must talk to manager but very delicate situation here . We have a new homeless person here . Regardless I cannot alarm manager (rock the boat) -- yet diminishing problems would make him offer quick and stupid fixes . I'm bit lost here .

I'm having real trouble with space , quiet , and internet . I need couple hours here and there . Every time I fix my personal problems or find some relief -- this is creeping up on me . :aw:

I must put things in storage (physically hard) , visit doctor (new prescriptions) (don't "just email" we don't have the luxury thanks!) , call agency for allowance assessment , and buy food -- NGO does not supply dairy products or vegs & fruits!

I will be starting my attack on SW , Psychiatrist , and Hospital today -- sending records and ctb notices . I'm going to TRY tomorrow move things to storage + doctor + meet manager (a lot!) . If things won't get better in flat -- SN/hospital on Wednesday or Thursday -_- I could not do much today (tired pain) , if that continues tomorrow then I'll just have go to hospital anyway .. Can't take it any longer .
 
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one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
@Quarky00
Sorry to hear you are going through all that shit I sincerely hope things do get better for you!

(Don't Let 'Em) Grind You Down

 
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highlyvolatile

highlyvolatile

I don't know anymore.
Feb 14, 2020
278
I'm awfully sorry to hear the stress and hell you've been dealing with there. I hope things do improve for you! ♡
 
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Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,771
We need to get the SS Army on this one..

*grabs the SS flag*

Let's do this!

BUT i am TERRIFIED of roaches!!..I think I need therapy..

But this fear that you have isn't an irrational one. Roaches carry nasty diseases and they should be destroyed if they are in a place where people live or work.
 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2019
1,956
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one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
Don't have time to read posts , but please change the name of this site :haha: "Don't mention the .. "

[1] [2]

Nice Faulty Towers reference!. I needed that laugh! Thank You

 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2019
1,956
I'm "resting" in bed in twisted positions , can't even stretch my legs , no room .. I have back pain .. Barely slept stomach pain 4h ..

In the past I dropped and broke things because I was sick and weak . Now I drop things because there's no room here . I eat with plate on lap (on bed) , move a bit and drop my phone , drop my glass , the laptop , etc . I just cannot move here .

I used to be in the living room a lot -- can sit , eat , internet , some TV , etc . Was doing better . But they brought new homeless person to sleep in living room , tons of luggage , no space there . The little that is left -- the one with a single room -- infests .

My roommate left Russian TV on , then went to living room and watched more Russian stuff there . The only person here who has a single room (alone) are constantly in living the room , even sleep there . What the fuck? You have Russian TV in room -- stay there . You have your own room -- stay there . I don't have a room , I don't have TV , I don't have internet , why are you encroaching ? Now if you don't like your room , if you want the living room , that's fine -- give your room/TV to me. You cannot have everything and be everywhere . Wtf .

Why don't you just open all the TVs in the house on full volume , leave them all open , and go outside... .FFS

8 people on 1 toilet/shower is too much . I think that suits backpacker hostel , not a proper flat . If everything was working maybe it would have been okay , but faucets are leaking and we have sewage floods (mild) , so everything is muddy and dirty . Of the 8 people here 3 are disabled , 2 work all day , and the rest are just tired -- we can't clean all the time . They gave us potatoes and told us to bake -- I laughed at them . "Do you think someone here has the energy to actually bake? And CLEAN after??"

Staff asked me to report if food is okay . I ask people here when did the food arrive , how much was there . The idiots say "I don't know" . I ask them what is missing , what more need to be fixed , "I don't know" . For fuck sake , they are real oxygen wasters . They shouldn't be helped at all . They should be euthanized . (cruel)

( Btw they are all clean , non violent , etc . Just fucking idiots . )

I have no where to be . It's bad for me to be in bed 22h a day , lying down all the time , really bad for my stomach issues and digestion (horizontal), bad for my back and body .

I told manager and staff about some basic things that aren't working , and they had dumb responses . I told them most of the stuff , but not about my serious difficulties , though they sense my stress . I am about to blow . I know I won't , I'm not that kind of person .. I've built up my complaints gradually since Saturday , so tomorrow I'm gonna give them the final blow . That I cannot be here anymore .

I will not kill anybody . I will not kill anybody . I will not kill anybody . (not funny)
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
It's messed up society keeps people in such conditions. I'm sorry you're dealing this all this. It sounds frustrating and confining. I wish there was more I could do to help. Sending you hugs and love.
 
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Lostandfound7

Lostandfound7

Just waiting....
Jan 21, 2020
995
Damm. Im so sorry Q...I hate that place n im not even there..I know of prisons with betta conditions..

I'm here for u :heart:
 
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mpnf

mpnf

Mental anguish..no more please.
Oct 3, 2019
190
This is the only homeless charity here. It's a private organization that you have to pay for. They are not trained and just admins for housing and food. I get partial allowance and homelessness grant which are very small. It all goes to that NGO and I don't have money to buy medication. I am about to be denied allowance because I did not come to the periodical medical assessment (too sick and in pain to walk). Otherwise social workers are totally incompetent and cause more harm than help (fill forms wrong, file for wrong programs, etc) -- this was verified by others here.

No family or friends.

In the past friends liked asking how I'm doing but ignored when I answered. I guess it was "too much" for them. I deeply regret helping and supporting them through the years. I was a shoulder to cry on , and I'm sorry for that. Never again. We were good friends for more than 10 years -- people are really shit.

I will ctb as soon as possible . :)
I'm so sorry you are in that situation. If I were you I would not take it without going totally insane. I'm a really weak person. But on the contrary you are very brave and strong. Stay like that.
Try to cope with the situation and try to stay as "positive" as much about it. At least you have your full senses with you and that is one of the more important things.. Don't let it take you down.

You deserve better and wish all suffering would stop for you and that you could gain your life back.

Keep going strong and if you want to ctb , I'm sure a lot of good will be waiting for you when you arrive to heaven. ❤
 
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L

Lostnotfound

Specialist
Feb 23, 2020
351
We haven't spoken much but you was very helpful to me so I had to say something. It sounds like hell you are going through, I dont know where you are in the world but that is inhumane. I am UK and fairly clued up or can look up things if it can help at all. I wish you all the best.
 
E

Epsilon0

Enlightened
Dec 28, 2019
1,874
"I'm "resting" in bed in twisted positions , can't even stretch my legs , no room .. "


This description puts me in mind of a medieval hanging cage.

Behold mankind's nobleness in all its glory!


68D4A69E 9DD5 482E 9965 84A83853915C
 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2019
1,956
Ah , things got worse , trigeminal pain back

Physical pain comes and goes, now unbearable, makes my hands shake (reaction to severe pain).

Can't get treated so seeking first aid -- sadly nowadays even that requires appointment , so I have to wait . Say again how that paracetamol OD works ...
 
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CuddleHug

CuddleHug

Back, but with less enthusiasm. Hugs~
Feb 22, 2020
259
Ah , things got worse , trigeminal pain back



Can't get treated so seeking first aid -- sadly nowadays even that requires appointment , so I have to wait . Say again how that paracetamol OD works ...
I feel so bad for you. We haven't talked, but I've followed your posts for a while and it has been a real rollercoaster of emotions. Somehow you're still here, whether intentional or not. I hope you make it through this pain and get to your SN safely soon.

Many, many (careful) hugs~ :heart::heart::heart:
 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2019
1,956
LT;DR -- refused penicillin because of like 20$ .

Nerve inflammation . Prescribed penicillin . Receptionist refused to print paper until I pay -- because debit card did not work (there's money in bank) . Told her "Ok sign forms I'll pay tomorrow" , she said "NO" . Big argument . She sent me out . I was clearly in pain . This was hell , after 30m she caved , I paid like 9$ in small change (the rest tomorrow) . Unbelievable .

Been there 9 years , spent there $20K , insurance pays back , never a problem . It's not about money -- it's about abusing people :angry:

If that's how the world works today , I want out . Fucking penicillin! Basic meds!
 
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Lostandfound7

Lostandfound7

Just waiting....
Jan 21, 2020
995
Woooooooooowwwww!! I wish u could get out of there!
 
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L

Lostnotfound

Specialist
Feb 23, 2020
351
Where the fcuk are you? Don't answer that as I'm not asking for personal information but it sounds like some third world country or something. Do they know this is 2020? Do they know human kindness and compassion? What can we do to help? Sending love and hugs your way xxx
 
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one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
LT;DR -- refused penicillin because of like 20$ .

Nerve inflammation . Prescribed penicillin . Receptionist refused to print paper until I pay -- because debit card did not work (there's money in bank) . Told her "Ok sign forms I'll pay tomorrow" , she said "NO" . Big argument . She sent me out . I was clearly in pain . This was hell , after 30m she caved , I paid like 9$ in small change (the rest tomorrow) . Unbelievable .

Been there 9 years , spent there $20K , insurance pays back , never a problem . It's not about money -- it's about abusing people :angry:

If that's how the world works today , I want out . Fucking penicillin! Basic meds!

I can't imagine WTF you are going through. I think it is A LOT about $$$ though. That's usually what systems are designed for. I may be wrong and not familair with the system you are going through, but i still think $$$ is more important then people. JMHO

Still hoping thinks get better for you!
 
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H

Hopeindeath!

Elementalist
Dec 7, 2019
800
I'm sorry for the situation you are in.:hug: Maybe earplugs would help with the noise.
 
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rntmss

rntmss

Taking it one day at a time
Feb 7, 2020
197
I've heard terrible things about shelters in my part of the world... sadly, this sounds par for the course.

I'm sorry you're being subjected to such horseshit. Hang tough, my friend.
 
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S

s1mplem3

Arcanist
Mar 4, 2020
454
Do you mind to share your location in here? I can't PM yet, otherwise Discord.
 

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