Does this site benefit you in any way?

[Catcrazygirl]

Hi everyone. Just out of curiousity, a while ago there was a report about this forum where the CEO of the Canadian Mental Health Association said that "[...]there is no value to this site, it doesn't benefit anyone - in fact it does quite the opposite[...]", defending the position that this forum shouldn't exist and it made me curious, is that true? Like, that person is obviously talking down to us, over us, pretending they know what we want, when they claim this forum doesn't benefit anyone despite there being clearly a demand for website like this one, right. And it seems to me people are making an account and participating here voluntarily, so I'd assume there must be some value to this website for the people who are using it. It's also important to fact-check these claims given this person seems to speak for the CMHA and it would be interesting to know if these people even remotely understand what goes on in the minds of suicidal people, if they understand what our needs and desires are and how we want society to treat us.

It seems to me these people think want to be treated like children and have other people decide what we're allowed to see and research online and what decisions we're allowed to make while I do think that people who use this forum want some degree of autonomy and a right to make their decisions regarding their own welfare and decide for themselves how they want to live this life and when they want to leave. That's how I want society to treat me, I found this forum in 2018 when I was in need for information to make my own decisions and a supportive community and I didn't agree with these experts that other people should have a right to tell me, as an autonomous adult, what I'm supposed to see online and which decisions I make for my own life, concerning my own welfare, are valid and appropiate and which aren't. I think these are deeply personal decisions and essentially nobody's business but mine. And I have a feeling that's echoed by a majority of people in this community.

So let's solve this dilemma. What do you think? I'd be curious to hear your opinion, feel free to explain your position in the comments below.

Yes it definitely does help! I understand for some it can bring up mixed thoughts and emotions - but ig that's a natural part of life.

This site is a symbol of unfiltered self expression and compassion for those who the world has treated so incredibly badly. I have found the people in here are pleading for autonomy and anything better than the pain that their lives entail.

For me, a big issue I have in life is organising my thoughts, yet on this site I truly feel free to say as I wish, without big prefaces and explanations, people just "get it". I can talk openly, ask questions and help others directly, without societal veils and etiquettes.

 

[scottyy]

It's hypocritical for the Canadian government to criticize this website after all the hysteria the news created about the government considering allowing the mentally ill access to maid.

 

[nopointinlivingg]

Doesn't matter. Even if we try to convince them of it usefulness they'll just infantilize us, dehumanize us, and take away our autonomy by telling us we don't really know what we need/want.

 

[thereisthemist]

Mirror question:
Does the Internet / uncensored information / real-time communication benefit you in any way?

 

[curioustotheend]

Why would someone come to this site if it didn't benefit them lmao?
I'd be surprised if there was a single vote for No.

Totally agree

 

[skittkles.s]

Yes, it does, often the methods listed on this website helps me with my current education, and this site is also helpful for me to find a sort of comfort.

 

[사람이 없어]

I value free freaking speech and being able to talk about what you want, not censoring everything behind some "safety wall".
It's nice to see you're not alone, or see the available options out there, knowing there's a way out without suffering for decades on end, hopefully at least.

 

[terra.nuvo]

I feel like this site comforts me and in a way offers me hope that i can control my own fate. I find reading through the forums helps me stay calm and feel reassured. Reading so many posts of people who feel similarly to me has honestly been so freeing because it made me realize that i'm not completely alone and that there are people out there who understand what i'm going through.

 

[nozomu]

Other than my partner the only people who talk to me are here

 

[Duality]

Yes it absolutely benefits me and many others. It is truly the only safe space where people can freely talk about their suicidal thoughts without blowback. It's not only for discussing methods either - in my opinion, the most important thing about this forum is that it brings comfort and, as counterintuitive as it sounds, it does make people delay their suicide or abandon it altogether. For those that are determined and ready, the forum has a lot of good research on methods that will hopefully bring about a peaceful death.

Personally I've decided to live a bit longer and enjoy life knowing that I can choose to die at any time, using a specific method.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

The site in certain ways can act like a non- judgemental support group.

Around my area every support group I could find after looking for hours online caters to very specific demographics, none of which I qualified as. There are many support groups for teens, many for very specific disabilties, many for very particular ethnic groups, a lot for middle aged women, a ton for retirees, but none for young adults in my demographic.

I understand why irl support groups get extremely specific with their membership requirements and the benefits it can bring when people in the group can relate to each other with common struggles, but if there's no group that wants you, it doesn't leave a whole lot of options in real life.

Similarly as other people/ organizations have talked about, there is no real "third place" in towns and cities anymore that people can go to alone outside of work and home to meet people, which the very oldest people alive today apparently once had. If are going someplace, you need to have people already going with you if you expect to have anyone to talk to. If you don't have anyone readily available nearby and/or are flat broke, you are stuck alone.

Most members of the government buerocracy (or the large government contractors) similar to this person here say nice things and probably have nice intentions but run into politics and ultimately get nothing done. There is no sense of community for people who struggle with long term depression or suicidality and in the void Sanctioned Suicide has risen to fulfill the need. Moral grandstanding about a makeshift community that isn't made in this official's ideal image (like what we are seeing here) is great but the inaction of the government and the wider society as a whole on the underlying cause(s) speaks louder.

The government and society at large can't solve every problem, and there is a seperate debate about the role of government in anything or everything. I don't want to claim to know the perfect solution either when I am the splitting image of a failure. That being said, it is hard for me, and I'm sure many other nihilistic people here, to care.

If you care, maybe do something about the causes instead of attempting to conceal the unpleasant reality.

None of us got here out of nowhere.

 

[Skallagrim]

Yes. This place benefits me.

1. I have a lot of pain, a lot of regret, a lot of thoughts about how I shouldn't even be present in this world. Everywhere else I go, whether online or offline, I kind of feel I shouldn't be there. Like I'm a complete waste of time and energy and other's should spend it on me. I'm always an outsider. This place, alone in all the world, is somewhere I don't feel out of place and apologetic about being part of.

2. I'm safe from toxic positivity here. There is nothing, nothing at all, that makes me want to hurt myself more than total strangers pretending to care with platitudinous tripe like "You are valued" and "You are cared about" when I know they'll forget I even exist 10 seconds after turning the next page.

3. I can express pain here, really let it out, without fear that some well-meaning but completely ignorant busy-body will contact some authority or other and try to get ambulances to come cart me off against my wishes.

 

[Trakehner]

This is the only place I feel somewhat understood and don't get belittled.

 

[unfixable]

The CMHA is apparently unaware that the Canadian healthcare system is in a state of total meltdown, and believe that EVERYONE can be saved, if only "mental health", that same mental health mind you that wouldn't be and isn't accessible anyways not to mention it won't magically fix everyone's problems. Remember, you don't need a doctor, you don't need housing, you don't need to be able to afford food, you don't need to have enough health to be able to care for your basic needs, all you need is "mental health" and it will all be better, just like a warm cozy delusional dream. They are nothing more than that dog in the burning house "everything is fine" meme.

Reality exists, those suffering can't just ignore it like the outside delusional observers can. Silencing those who suffer doesn't make their pain go away, it doesn't make suicidal thoughts go away. This is the one of the last places on earth where you can speak your pain and not be censored. Everywhere else to completely utter such words is a thought crime and they direct you to your "mental health professionals" which is nothing more than a trip to a jail cell where you learn about your mistake of reaching out for help, and when you are fed up with enduring your punishment in the abysmal jail cell like conditions, you eventually break and you tell them what they want to hear even though its not the truth so that they can send you on your way. They get to tell the media that they "saved a life" and the suicidal person knows not to reach out and to deal with it themselves next time whether that involves death or not. Help doesn't exist, it is a myth, a lie and a delusion.

 

[dsbmm]

I would say it has benefitted me. Throughout my time lurking on here I have read so many entries that sound as if I had written them. So many people here are similar to me. It's very comforting.

 

[BlockHammer]

I cant say for anyone else but me personally, i do feel that this place had something to offer one of them is a place to share my thought about suicide and also sometimes we debated about a certain scenario or philosophy that's rare to encountered in any social media or forum.

Well i should said that this site isn't the only one who do this kind of thing, in fact there's another place where you can share ur thought about suicidal or ur stand about that topic, i know a subreddit who do this that subreddit in my experience were well organized, so you rarely gonna found any toxic people in there

But regardless of how non toxic that subreddit was, i can't say things that sounds pro suicide or even pro choice cause the nature of the sub
reddit it self was pro life. So even if u managed to construct a valid opinion about suicide, they still gonna denied that saying either you not working hard enough or theres still a lot of option, and that's just make the discussion exhausting cause we can't go to the point to understand each other

But in this website maybe because the nature of SaSu being a pro choice, we can have a healty discussion about choose to stal alive or leave it all behind, note that there's people that still agree with their original mindset but at least in here, they willing to admit that sometimes/most of the times, death is the solution unlike this subreddit i mention that's so pro-life to the point that they think if they agree with people like me, their worldview will change in a instance

Last thing about the media, i thing either they just wanna be seen as a hero so they demonized this website cause ironicly, being a "hero" will gave them a lot of profit. Or they just dont wanna be canceled by other media or society if they seems to support this website ideology

So this's my whole speech, in summary this website allowed me to rant and share my thought about sensitive topic etc without seeing someone else to be so defensive/combative, i hope this can help you get what you needed

 

[TiredBuddhist]

CEO of the Canadian Mental Health Association said that "[...]there is no value to this site, it doesn't benefit anyone - in fact it does quite the opposite[...]", defending the position that this forum shouldn't exist and it made me curious, is that true?

Views like this one from the Canadian CEO tend to come from a few different perspectives,

1, Capitalist mentality and the desire to forever grow the economy and have workers/consumers to fuel that.

2, The belief that they know better than the individual in regards to what is good for the individual

3, That there is no rational reason to want to die.

4, Religious beliefs

5, Disrespect for individual autonomy and freedoms.

That's not an exhaustive list, but it does covers a broad spectrum of views.

They fail to account for the fact that many people are mentally sound and able to make rational decisions but still would prefer to choose their own fate and die at some point. For example, I have chronic kidney disease and cannot afford dialysis or a transplant. I definitely do intend to die by my own actions before my health reaches a point where I wish I could die. As such a "site like this" is a useful resource. I've asked questions around how to handle loved ones, researched methods etc. I'm also trans, which in and of itself is a reason to die in the transphobic society I live in....

 

[KitIsAHotMess]

For me it does. What a lot of people don't get is that sometimes we need to be able to talk about the stuff we go through without being told the usual "oh don't do it" bs. Yes, people who use this site have died, that's what happens when suicidal people are suicidal. This site isn't making anyone kill themselves, it's giving them a space where they won't be bombarded by worried family and friends, or have police knocking on their door, or get paramedics called on them. It lets us be open without being afraid, and for a lot of people, that's what they need. There are times where sites like this have actually helped save my life, not encourage me to end it

 

[Legacy Install]

This site is one of the few places where I feel grounded in a way. I'm extremely thankful for that.

 

[KANCEL]

Of course SS is beneficial. Knowledge is power. The potential for peace of mind, when the time is right is invaluable.

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

I'm currently writing a thesis on one of Dazais Books in which he states that everyone should have the right to die. All the literature on the book is tainted by life loving prejudices. It's awful. There's not one thesis out there who didn't call him surviving a suicide attempt a fortune outcome.

People in my life are just like that. They don't get my point of view. It's awful being treated like a child just because you're suicidal. I have trauma from being locked up after an attempt. However people still believe that it was for the better because I'm still here. It's horrible. The only reason I haven't attempted to ctb again is because I'm deadly afraid of being locked in. Last time had I needed to stay even one day longer I'd have banged my head against the wall because I couldn't take it anymore.

I'm so glad this place exists. It's the only place where I can share my experience without being called a liar. People in the psychiatry didn't believe me when I told them I was scared. They screamed at me that I was lying because I wanted to get out so I can ctb when that was not the case. I was so afraid that I'd have tried to ctb because of the fear alone had they not let me go. The worst thing about it was that they told me I'd be locked up for at least two weeks the next time I failed an attempt. I didn't commit a crime. Why am I threatened to be locked up? This is so sick but no one in my life sees it that way which is even more fucked up.

 

[Malaria]

I learned about this website because of that Tantacrul video, and I can tell you genuinely that what he said about this website was very wrong. I have been lurking this website ever since that video. Sometimes this website is the only source of comfort I have, because I feel judged over my suicidal ideation by many people in my personal life. Either they say insensitive things, or they mean well but still don't "get it".

People who are suffering from suicidal ideation don't want to be judged or be given cliche platitudes or be made to feel guilty for the way they feel. They want compassion, empathy, and understanding. Hell, the way people here can be so compassionate and understanding towards the suffering of others sometimes helps prevent me from suicide. I feel less alone, and that's all I can ask for.

Thank you for all the work you do @RainAndSadness

 

[inmyhead]

I've been coming here on and off since May 2023 when I was going through a particularly bad depressive episode and experiencing a lot of suicidal ideation. Just getting to speak to people about how I felt in a non judgemental way, without scaring anyone in my real life actually helped save me in an ironic way.

I actually brought up the website during an appointment with my CPN (without naming it obviously) and he agreed that it was a positive therapeutic outlet. I didn't go into too many details about it but said how it had helped me.

 

[hailspark]

Yes! This site is a community of people who won't judge ctb and are in the same place as me mentally. Also, I only found this site about a month ago but its actually helped me a lot with sh - I've found I scroll through here until instead of doing other things (not sure how it helps though lol)

 

[WatermelonMel]

this is the only place truly free of censorship where people are actually allowed to express how they really truly feel. It has helped me personally to know that there are people who exist that are going through the same struggles.

 

[Major Tom]

This is exactly what i was searching for. The community is also very wholesome and i love the idea of providing partner search threads. I was first inclined to seek the DarkNet for such a forum, but through few newspaper and rants, i finally found a safe haven to linger in.

 

[Meteora]

It is a great help, to be honest.

 

[HollowDrop]

This site is a big help. You get to freely express your distress and suicidal thinking without backlash or fear. When a site on the internet like this is a bigger help than "professionals" around, maybe they should be thinking how they could be improving their mental health care to make it more approachable and comfortable instead of blaming this site for existing.
Suicide is not a taboo, and the more it is treated like one the harder it is for suicidal people to open up about their feelings. We need open spaces like this.

 

[lita-lassi]

theres a thread here that gives me a space to express things i cant tell my therapist, family or friends. this site gave me a place of familiarity, hope and wanting to actually continue to live through some of the most heinous parts of my life and i absolutely believe people that seriously cant handle breathing anymore should have a safe place to express that feeling, gather some insight or clarification and learn how to either handle themselves or do this in the best way possible for themselves because statistically its not like anyone hellbent on ctb is going to just quit attempting

 

[xmissellax]

I just joined this site after spending time reading a lot of threads. This has given me such a comfort and I have searched for years for a site like this but never found one! I'm so glad I'm not alone out there. Ironically, having access to methods allows me to stay here a little longer as at least I know I have an out if things get too tough. I'm chronically ill and have autism and OCD, and it's hell being in my brain and body every day. I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 11 and I'm 28 now.