Does this forum make you feel better

[Lookingtoflyfree]

It does - both to have people who I can be honest about this topic, and to share and learn information without judgment.

I've had a bunch of online communities (mostly music) and have found as I've come to terms with my death, how little any of them really are of interest. I've stopped going to Slacks and all of them because they're not real people - they're the people who would have bullied autistic me in high school. I need safe, kind, warm, empathetic people in my life. As I wrap things up this will be more likely a place to feel I can be more me.

 

[juna]

I would be fcked without it so I guess yes... Undercover reporter (you not slick)

Nice try BBC

Haha, well, not a reporter but yes, this is the kind of question a reporter would ask.
If I wanted to choose a profession, I would be more interested in something like national geographic animal documentaries or nature documentaries.

 

[fh871]

This forum makes me feel much better better. I think there are two parts in why using this forum has such a positive effect on me, one part is that it allows me to be part of an online community where we can have an open discussions on a topic which is taboo in all other parts of society. The second part is that the forum is really well run and moderated and it creates the overall tone of mutual respect and compassion.

 

[annasplight]

Yes and no.

Yes because it feels so validating to not be alone, and for people to not think i'm a terrible person for my actions. It feels safe that people won't immediately try and call the fuckin feds on me because I have an urge to CTB.

No because seeing so many people suffer makes me feel a deep pit in my stomach. I wish I could help everyone, I wish I could rid everyone of pain and take it all upon myself. I wish there was a way that I could wrap you all up in my arms and hug you tight, promising a better tomorrow.
It pains me to see you guys in such agony, you guys feel like family to me. This world is much too cruel on everyone; you all deserve such happy and fulfilling lives, and if there was a way to give that to you guys, even at the cost of my own, i'd do it in a heartbeat. :(

 

[sos]

it does when i'm at my lowest

but when i'm not it'll only send me straight back into a ctb mood

 

[imnotsurewhy]

Its more complex i mean a lot of its just reading about other peoples struggles And pain if that would somehow lift up my mood i think that would make me not such a great person it does however make me feel at home And not have to pretend to agree with normie bullshit

 

[fatladysings]

I'm in agreement with the posts above. It's just nice to hang out (no pun intended) for a while with like-minded people. Nobody in my life has any idea I'm suicidal except for my psychiatrist, and he isn't going to stop me from ctb because I am viewed as stable and only see my psychiatrist about once a year. A lot of the time I feel like I'm leading a kind of double life where I'm not showing my true self to all my friends and family. But there's no way I would ever tell my friends and family because they would try to stop me ctb and I'm absolutely determined that nobody is going to stop me ctb. So I come to this forum and can be my true self in here.

 

[skylight7]

Does using this forum make you feel better, even if it is just for a few minutes. I want to see if having people who are somewhat not happy with life and listening to others makes a difference in our moods.
I mean this is a community of people who think about ctb a lot more than normies.

I voted yes, because, yes, it makes me feel better. There is something comforting about having a place that understands how you feel.

 

[lovelesslifeless]

no, not really. it's just someplace i've latched onto in a time of desperation.
to me, this place is just the other extreme of yet another problem that is ever-present in most social media.
instead of toxic positivity, it's toxic negativity. it only serves to re-enforce one-way thinking that is usually self-deprecating
for all the negative publicity this site gets, it doesn't really derail from the status quo, in a very insidious way it just re-enforces it
like for instance mental health stereotypes that focus on and blame the individual, so much so that it feels like the set-up to a mental health infomercial
it plays on common tropes, often trending topics - that aren't actually rooted in reality and are still relatively ''tame'' in the way that they skirt around very real issues
there's also been attempts to weaponize people's vents and aim them at users as a form of micro-aggression + cyberbullying
some bad actors have taken it a step further to prey on vulnerable individuals
the methods they post here feel like trolling, and aren't at all as peaceful as they advertise or suggest
also the abbrev ss is in line with neo-nazis (which is extra ironic/sus given the original owner's background), so minorities beware

the more time I spend on this site, the less I'm able to relate to the posts here.
some offer support and understanding but not at all like they used to in the past.

 

[outrider567]

Yes

 

[username12345]

It's just nice to have some sort of solution. Even with like regular mental health support things they're ultimately always just like « you are brave, » but being brave has never helped me. Real support helps people, but I don't have that. That's the thing about suicide, too, is that it's not just about the one person's mental health, it's normally telling of systemic issues and people's willingness to let ostracized people suffer. It's kind of victim blaming to think suicide is just about the person being unwell and not that their suicide is sometimes understandable to unbearable and impossible situations they don't have support for.

 

[newlifeimmigration]

no, not really. it's just someplace i've latched onto in a time of desperation.
to me, this place is just the other extreme of yet another problem that is ever-present in most social media.
instead of toxic positivity, it's toxic negativity. it only serves to re-enforce one-way thinking that is usually self-deprecating
for all the negative publicity this site gets, it doesn't really derail from the status quo, in a very insidious way it just re-enforces it
like for instance mental health stereotypes that focus on and blame the individual, so much so that it feels like the set-up to a mental health infomercial
it plays on common tropes, often trending topics - that aren't actually rooted in reality and are still relatively ''tame'' in the way that they skirt around very real issues
there's also been attempts to weaponize people's vents and aim them at users as a form of micro-aggression + cyberbullying
some bad actors have taken it a step further to prey on vulnerable individuals
the methods they post here feel like trolling, and aren't at all as peaceful as they advertise or suggest
also the abbrev ss is in line with neo-nazis (which is extra ironic/sus given the original owner's background), so minorities beware

the more time I spend on this site, the less I'm able to relate to the posts here.
some offer support and understanding but not at all like they used to in the past.

genuinely curious & not asking in bad faith: what makes you say that some methods are trolling/not as peaceful as people claim? are you talking about like methods from the PPH or just generally stuff that users on here are posting?
also youre talking like youve been here a while but your account was made today....?

 

[Ffaxanadu]

I found this forum accidentally, googling "suicide".
Then I realized it was the forum some newspapers talked about, due to some people CTB.
Long story short, I am glad I eventually found this place, where there is free speach about controversial topics.
Finally I'm among people who experienced stuff I had to pass through, people who can understand me, people that will not judge me.
Everywhere else I had/have to keep my mouth zipped, either because Terms Of Service or because people would'nt simply understand.
So, yes, I do feel better thanks to this community.

 

[brokeandbroken]

This is an extraordinarily hard question for me to answer.

Because the honest answer is nothing makes me feel better. Truly. Every second of everyday for over two years I have been in miserable and in hell. Every single second of every single day I'm constantly reminded of what was stolen and taken from me. I'm reminded how I should be a doctor saving lives which was stolen from me and yet there isn't anyone willing to get justice, my life back, etc.. for me. If justice is someone saying bnb sorry you are just wrong there is no case I would understand. I believe the evidence speaks for itself however and there is. It's a dark cloud, it's a constant stress and anxiety. It plagues everything. It's the complete gutting and removal of happiness from my life. I can't remember the last time I spent a full day just happy. It's been a long time since thoughts of committing suicide to end this pain wasn't a consideration. Something to rage and fight against. I could go on but you get it.

I do find this site calms me. It blunts the worst parts. It keeps me from exploding basically. Ironically I think it is has kept me alive. I think without it I would be dead.

 

[lovelesslifeless]

genuinely curious & not asking in bad faith: what makes you say that some methods are trolling/not as peaceful as people claim? are you talking about like methods from the PPH or just generally stuff that users on here are posting?
also youre talking like youve been here a while but your account was made today....?

my post already implies I'm very familiar with this site
and the methods I'm talking about are the ones like:
''burning the quaran to get crucified in iran''
''death by cop''
''jumping in front of a locomotive''
''hiring a hitman''
''setting oneself on fire''
''decap''

which all just feel like they were written by violence fetishists or trolls.
it's not a good look, especially for people who come here in a vulnerable state.
even supposedly innocent topics and questionnaires can come off as encouragement or victim shaming.

ex.

What has prevented your CTB so far?

Any reasons?

sanctioned-suicide.net

I've met a lot of kind souls here, and I'm not sure if it's because the site went mainstream but I personally think it's always been this way.
I remember when this site was just discussing difficult subjects and offering a more in depth support and understanding
for people in difficult situations, then just the same sentiments that feel dismissive at best and patronizing at worst.
as ideations are a touchy subject even in spaces that offer support for mental health.
I mostly came here just to have a place to vent where I wouldn't be crucified or threatened with institution.
I'm still going to focus on the people who offer good tips on how they cope and recover while giving their two cents.
but I can't deny that some people here don't use this site for what it was originally intended(?)
as I and many others have seem to become a target for cyberbullying, stalking and ma ever since I first joined
under the guise of ''trolling'' or controlled opposition, when it's clear that this place has deeper connections than advertised.

 

[Remember]

Whenever I'm feeling really low and badly want to CTB I visit this forum. There's something about it that alleviates the pain. The people who post on here are very compassionate, and I think it feels nice to see I'm not alone in the suffering I feel. You really can't talk about this stuff with normal people without it turning into "DON'T KILL YOURSELF OH MY GOD WHAT WILL I DO IF YOU KILL YOURSELF PLEEAASSEEEE!"

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I'd say this forum helps me personally as it's a somwhat comforting feeling to know that everyone here at least has or deals with shit, and when I say shit I mean shit that either we were apparently to weak to get past or shit that people normally wouldn't have to experience, tho it's funny how bad life experiences are allot more relevent then many make it out to be, and i mean bad life experiences, the fact that I have more real conversations with people here then irl generally comforts me, but also has me disheartened, the only way people feel safe enough to actually say/put what they want to say into words/text is here, but even then again never fully because I'm sure for a majority or at least a big group of people here still filter themselves because there's always going to be that underlining fear of being misunderstood or not understood at all or the plain idea that it's a waste of time to be entirely truthful with your words/text in what you really wanna say.

Tho that's beside the point, this place out of every other platform or social app I'd use I'd have to say that the people here aren't just assholes, some here and there but I rarely ever come across anyone here who's genuinely mean or a jerk for kicks, SASU to me and for me is the friendliest place, an I feel like that means allot.

 

[bookie]

I don't know what I would do without this forum

 

[Ol Messier 87]

Does using this forum make you feel better, even if it is just for a few minutes. I want to see if having people who are somewhat not happy with life and listening to others makes a difference in our moods.
I mean this is a community of people who think about ctb a lot more than normies.

I don't think so, but it doesn't make me feel any worse either. However, it's very interesting to read accounts of people who go through similar phases and for all sorts of different reasons.

 

[Davey40210]

im grateful for this forum as i can express myself without having to hold back, and it's reassuring to know that there r like-minded people out there who think and feel similarly to how i do. it does make me feel less alone. however ultimately, it doesn't affect me at all. i don't feel better or worse, but im glad i have a place to go when things get bad.

Very much the same. In normal life I have such an incredible filter. It feels liberating to talk about everything. Although I have a feeling that even here people will be angry at me at some point.

 

[fatladysings]

I feel that this site helps me. None of my relatives and friends know that I am suicidal. The only person who knows I'm suicidal is my psychiatrist because I didn't want to lie to my psychiatrist. The reason none of my friends or relatives know I'm suicidal is because I want to be very sure that nothing and no one will stop me from ctb'ing.

My psychiatrist will not stop me from ctb'ing because at the minute, although I'm quite ill mentally, I'm stable and because of that I only see a shrink once a year. I intend to use back to back methods of ctb'ing that are likely to work and will all be done on the same day ie I'll keep going till I succeed. If it should come to a point where i fail to ctb and my psychiatrist finds out about it and sections me, then at that point I'll be happy to start lying to my psychiatrist in order to get out of the psych ward so that I can make more attempts at ctb'ing.

I understand some people's views that this site can make them depressed. There was a thread not too long ago about bullying and that thread made me depressed, it was so sad - people were going into details about bullying they received when they were children, and childhoods are supposed to be happy, and the stories were heartbreaking. Very, very sad and very upsetting to read. Also there was a post from priestess about not having enough money to buy food and I found that very sad too cos insufficient finances are a big part of why I'm ctb'ing.

So this is a sad place to be but I keep coming back due to the wealth of information about ctb'ing and also because it's just nice to talk to people who are feeling the same way I do.

Very much the same. In normal life I have such an incredible filter. It feels liberating to talk about everything. Although I have a feeling that even here people will be angry at me at some point.

Why do you think that people in here will be angry with you at some point?

 

[ame03]

Does using this forum make you feel better, even if it is just for a few minutes. I want to see if having people who are somewhat not happy with life and listening to others makes a difference in our moods.
I mean this is a community of people who think about ctb a lot more than normies.

It's better than telling family that I want to off myself which only drives them further away. Getting almost immediate feedback even if it's only a heart or a hug has helped. I've really needed to vent and have noo e to listen.