Does this forum make you feel better

[juna]

Does using this forum make you feel better, even if it is just for a few minutes. I want to see if having people who are somewhat not happy with life and listening to others makes a difference in our moods.
I mean this is a community of people who think about ctb a lot more than normies.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

At one time it did, but that seems to be waning.

 

[WantThisToEnd]

I voted that it does, and I think that's true. Makes me feel less alone, that there are other people who want to ctb as much as I do and feel stuck the same way without a reliable method and believe in pro-choice suicide. But it also makes me sad that I spend so much time on here.

 

[Grumble]

At one time it did, but that seems to be waning.

Why is that? (not meant as a challenge in any way -- I'm just genuinely wondering -- by all means ignore me if you'd rather not elaborate)

Right now, this forum is making me feel better in that I feel like I'm around "my people" when I'm here. This is also my only interaction with other human beings outside my very immediate family, so it's also somewhat making up for that social void in my life.

 

[Mojo's mama]

I haven't been here long, but sometimes it does make me feel better. I can be open and honest about my feelings and know someone isn't going to try to get me committed to the psych ward/hospital against my will. I feel heard. Not that my therapists aren't listening, but people here REALLY get it. And they don't just jump to trying to fix things or find solutions.
I read of others who I can relate to and feel a little less alone, even for a minute.
And if I had questions about people's experiences with trying to CTB (what definitely doesn't work), I feel like I could ask and not seem crazy or morbid.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Why is that? (not meant as a challenge in any way -- I'm just genuinely wondering -- by all means ignore me if you'd rather not elaborate)

Right now, this forum is making me feel better in that I feel like I'm around "my people" when I'm here. This is also my only interaction with other human beings outside my very immediate family, so it's also somewhat making up for that social void in my life.

I guess it's because I still haven't done the deed yet, despite having a method. The conversations here tend to repeat over and over and there's only so much to say. People come and go constantly, you get used to liking someone's posts and then they vanish. It's still nice to be here so I feel less alone with these thoughts, but I found it more helpful when I first signed up.

 

[aubrey!]

Sometimes - it's nice to have a crowd that understands.
Having friends that don't deal with suicidal thoughts, they view you in a lesser way. not intentionally - typically.
They don't understand your mistakes, because they are too stable to make them.
They think you're farming for attention, when it's just the way you think.

I come to this site when i seek people who understand, it's not always necessarily helpful nor necessary, but in doses i find it relieving, in a weird way.

 

[Edistrying]

I came here almost 2 months ago , I was looking for the best method to CTB & found it.. but in the way I found so much people suffering and I felt confortable, less lonely. Today that i'm on my way to recovery I just feel so lucky for find this site, in my dreams I wish everyone feel better one day but also I know thats its impossible, so i just hope all we can finally find peace in the way we want

 

[Lady Laudanum]

Yes. This is the only place where I can openly talk about my struggles without being afraid that people are going to judge me or try to get me sent to the psych ward.

 

[Themogger]

I would be fcked without it so I guess yes... Undercover reporter (you not slick)

 

[DipAndChips]

I can say that it makes me slighty feel better.

Being around like minded people who wont judge me.

I am lonely and depressed.

Self harm when depression and lonelyness really hits.

But what makes me feel better and get my mind off of things is the users.

I talk to one user regularly and the user does make me feel so much better.

We have a lot in common and just makes my day so much better.

The other user we talk once in a while and have great conversations about my little pony.


But what i can say is that its you the users and community all on one website that can connect and not judge like the outside world does.

We all been throught shit that we keep to outselves because we know when we speak about it in the real world we get shit on, judged, stigmitized, and labeled.

Say the wrong thing and you get hospitalized.

But here i feel better and here i can rant and here i can be myself.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Yes finding a community like this was pretty incredible. All those horrible nights alone googling suicide methods were even more than depressing they were morbid. Obviously it sucks that so many people are in the same position as me, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But if we all feel like this anyway why not discuss how it feels to be suicidal together with folks that understand? It has helped me, at least I'm still here 2 years after joining which I did not plan on!

 

[Plentiful_Despair]

Yes. It helps

 

[Malfunction]

Better in the sense that I'm not alone. I very much appreciate that.

Not better as in self happiness. But I don't much enjoy of anything.

I'd say yes it makes me feel better even without the happiness.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Yes it does. I was such a mess when I first joined. This place and the friends I have made here have given me a new perspective on life and death.

 

[Nikitatos]

The resources are helpful.
Knowing other people are going through the same thing is helpful.
Seeing goodbye threads is helpful.

Reading threads is mostly very comforting.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I find it a bit strange people would stay here if it made them feel worse. Still, maybe they're trying to actively make themselves feel worse so that they want to CTB more.

I also wonder if people who say it isn't helping them whatsoever are being entirely truthful. What affect would it have on them if they were banned for instance? Or, if the site went down? Maybe it's true. Maybe it wouldn't affect them at all.

But, yes it helps me. Just to be able to be honest, not put on some act of being ok. Because, I've found it really doesn't help to do that in the 'real' world. (Be entirely honest about how I feel or, put on an act- it's exhausting.)

People either get very worried- which is pointless because there's nothing they can do. Which makes me feel guilty I've burdened them with that worry. They come up with ridiculous suggestions and platitudes that even they wouldn't/ couldn't follow... 'You're worried about your career? Become an astronaut.' Really? I'm not 5 years old. We don't just 'become' whatever we want to be! Or, they obviously avoid the subject- which means they clearly feel uncomfortable about it, don't want to be burdened with it, don't know what to say etc.- which again, makes me feel bad for making them feel like that.

I think these sorts of places are unique because, while a lot of people here are very empathetic. We may well have a degree of concern for one another, we don't exactly have so much direct responsibility for one another. It's annonymous so, in many ways we can't- even if we wanted to. That can be a relief for the person spilling their worst experiences and feelings. It can feel a burden to us to know that we've burdened someone else- someone we know that is. Plus, potentially changed the relationship- perhaps forever. People here have reported losing friends after being honest with them. Here, we can be honest and know that whoever reads our vents and some of the heart breaking stories that go on here- chose to read it. They don't owe anything to us. They'll respond if they feel strong enough to themselves but if not, they get the choice to avoid getting involved.

 

[alltoomuch2]

When I'm on here I feel comforted, understood and less alone. It also makes me think of other people on here and distracts me out of the doom spirals. There are some very wise people on here who make me think more deeply about some things. And knowing that the method I have chosen if I need it is highly effective, it makes me less inclined to ctb right now because there is no rush. It can wait until tomorrow or if things don't improve. Saying it encourages people to ctb is ridiculous. I've never seen anyone encouraging it. And if someone wants to ctb they'll find a way. Just maybe a way more likely to cause permanent damage and suffering. But I suppose the people who hate this site would think that was preferable.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Most of the time, yes. At one point it used to make me feel so good that it made me not want to actively CTB anymore. That was what partly contributed to the hiatus I took in mid 2022 to late 2023.

 

[justkatie]

I wouldn't say I feel better but I am happy to have found a place that isn't swarmed with annoying help messages when you even mention ctb.

I want to talk about how I feel candidly and honestly without messages of support (which don't actually support) and phone numbers to call to help (which don't actually help).

 

[LunarLight]

Yes, it makes me feel less alone.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Lately, this site has been fluctuating between making me feel better and making me feel worse.

On one hand, having somewhere where I can vent freely about my desire to die is nice. I tend to be very closed off, so having somewhere to vent is very nice.

On the other hand, I sometimes end up finding that this place makes me feel worse, though it's more my own fault rather than the fault of the site itself. I sometimes find myself getting consumed with thoughts about how the most of the people on here find me annoying and don't like me very much (which I don't blame them for, lol). Other times, I find myself feeling like I don't fit in here. At times, I find myself wanting to quit using this site altogether.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I'm glad this place exists. Without it I wouldn't really have a place where I could talk about my true feelings safely. I have no one irl that can help me and other communities quickly ban anything related to suicide.

 

[lamargue]

i'm dependent on this site as an outlet for my thoughts, which keeps me at a relative low in terms of my depressive emotions. it will probably help me in the long-term, though only time can tell

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Nice try BBC

 

[lawlietsph]

Everytime I see that someone has replied to my stuff, I feel a 2-3 seconds long excitement. I am so alone in this life and I have no idea what it's like to be loved or just liked, so the tiniest bit of attention gives me a small dopamine boost. But other than that, I feel absolutely nothing - I mean, not better and not worse. I think it's just the distance, knowing that there are many amazing, wonderful, kind and smart people here, but I'll most likely never knew any of them on a deeper level. It kinda makes me feel even more alone, because I desperately crave someone to understand my feelings.
But yeah, it is not too bad at all, I was never feeling worse after visiting the site or anything like that.

 

[randomindividual]

This forum weirdly calms me down. It sets my thought train straight and makes me not impulsive. Example a couple minutes ago I wanted to take my SN because I was manic but I didn't have any antiemetics or benzos. So I asked some people about it and they recommended I not be impulsive if I'm going to ctb. When I posted my feelings on here I recived support and other bounded with other people who felt the same way. I love how real I can be on here. The community is really good from what I've experienced

 

[ForgottenAgain]

It depends on the day and on the posts that appear. Some days I feel worse because the posts are so sad, people venting about horrible problems and I'm powerless to do anything about it. Adding on to that, some days I feel worse and so I consume more depressing posts.

On another days I'm a bit better and just check what interesting posts people have created on Off Topic or Recovery.

I chose the middle option because I think, averaging everything, the site's impact is neutral on me. Irrelevant of how I'm feeling, it's always good to have a place where I can talk freely and can read other people's posts where they're venting freely.

This site is a precious gem for me.

 

[etherealspring]

im grateful for this forum as i can express myself without having to hold back, and it's reassuring to know that there r like-minded people out there who think and feel similarly to how i do. it does make me feel less alone. however ultimately, it doesn't affect me at all. i don't feel better or worse, but im glad i have a place to go when things get bad.

 

[Splurged]

Oh definitely. It's nice to be around people that are not just pushing how wonderful their life is to you.

I think social media has a lot to answer for .