• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    šŸ‘‰ View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
seaquake

seaquake

lethargic
Jan 30, 2025
34
Some people have the idea that their life is shit and that they need to CTB, and even after admitting the need, they still have difficulty conceiving the idea of death naturally.

For me, just thinking that this hell will end soon makes me happy. What about you? Are you ready to die?
 
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep, JesiBel, pthnrdnojvsc and 1 other person
Anonymousa

Anonymousa

Get me Out
Sep 21, 2024
2,395
I don't fear death at all as I think after it is just non existence forever so there I literally can't suffer or want anything meaning I am not disadvantaged in any way and will not be disadvantaged ever again so I am relieved that death at least exists as an eventual escape out of life. What I don't like is the process to die as dying is often uncomfortable and painful and I have low pain tolerance.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep, Chopper97, patheticparasite and 4 others
FrozenOcean

FrozenOcean

…oh bother
Mar 21, 2025
75
Life terrifies me, I don't know what death is yet.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: badatparties, seaquake, cemeteryismyhome and 5 others
M

Melly

Pain receptacle
Aug 13, 2019
50
Usually calms me, but sometimes I fear dying in terrible circumstances, and sometimes I get upset that life ends even for people who enjoy it, and then I fantasize about killing myself and then it's comforting again.

I'm scared of wanting to live because I'm scared of being scared of death; it must be terrible to be afraid of something that is inevitable. I wish death was entirely optional and that anyone could live forever if they so chose.

I find comfort in death, knowing that all suffering ends, but what if you're not suffering and don't want it to end? That's a terrifying thought to me.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: seaquake and getoutgirl
pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
4,334
My Death is the only escape from his hell called life

Why would i be terrified of getting out of a horrible nightmare?

1 micro second after my brain dies it will be non-existence forever. Death is eternal non-existence.

there is pain or suffering so bad 1 minute of it is unimaginable and makes everything else meaningless. everything else is meaningless anyway . nothing matters except avoiding constant unbearable pain.

Only a functioning brain can create extreme suffering , or constant unbearable pain. Once the brain is destroyed or dies it can never create excruciating pain nor extreme suffering ever again

non-existence forever is the only guarantee of never suffering extremely . thus eternal non-existence is the only perfection

I could never fear permanent non-existence but look forward to it

Any human or other sentient animal is under constant threat of extreme torture. For example cancer , stroke, accidents, injury, attacks , parasites. Diseases damaging cells or organs leaving the human In Constant unbearable pain. But that's only while the organism is alive. As soon as Death arrives and it will me or the animal is safe from extreme suffering forever ā™¾ļø.

So non-existence forever is the salvation for me. Terrified ? No it's the ultimate bliss what I want asap

1 micro second after my brain dies i will cease to exist forever. non-existence forever all my problems solved for all time, no chance of pain nor suffering nor bad memories ever, nothing can matter at all if i don't exist. so this i am to fear?

no i fear living as a fragile decaying small animal that has to work 15 hours per day a job and chores just to feed myself and get shelter all for only to exist in this evil prison hell as a slave under threat of extreme torture

It's obvious someone being tortured like Junko Furuta was by a gang. it's obvious that anyone would want to escape and will try to.

is the escape from torture is to be feared or the torture (life)?

i will never fear Death. it is nothingness. what can be more perfect than nothing?
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep, Anonymousa, Chopper97 and 3 others
swankysoup

swankysoup

Experienced
Feb 12, 2024
214
Dying before i'm ready to go does scare me
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: seaquake, StrugglingSienna and Melly
getoutgirl

getoutgirl

got out the site <3
Mar 17, 2025
558
I do not fear death. Don't think I ever have. I have a weird morbid crave for it. Not so much as morbid, others may see it like that, but for me it's just it seems pleasant. Quiet and peaceful. Sleep premium basically. It's got a sad coldness to it, like dark water, and an alluring warmth, like a hug, but mixed I take it as perfect room temperature. Absolute numbness. Light's out and a forever blanket. It just sounds all too nice for me.
Death itself calms me. The pain that may cause on others scares me a lot.
Much like sleep, I also dislike what I'd miss. What beautiful things happen in the night while I am gone. What I'd miss in my life If I start my sleeping now. That is not scary, but sad.

Life terrifies me, I don't know what death is yet.
Unrelated but this reminded me of a lil short song about fearing life, which I like and relate to,
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: seaquake, pthnrdnojvsc, Melly and 1 other person
JesiBel

JesiBel

protoTYPE:cclxxv
Dec 5, 2024
1,113
Now I feel calm, since I have all the information and materials to ctb. I can do it whenever I want without worry, I already have confidence in the method.

For me, death is serenity, it is relief and salvation. The world is an increasingly violent and unlivable chaos. Having an exit is comforting.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep, seaquake and pthnrdnojvsc
Shadows From Hell

Shadows From Hell

Waiting for my permanent darkness to arrive
Oct 21, 2024
604
I've never feared death. When it's my time, I'll be ready. No regrets.
 
  • Like
Reactions: seaquake, pthnrdnojvsc and cemeteryismyhome
StrugglingSienna

StrugglingSienna

Suicidal Trans Girl
Mar 16, 2025
181
It scares me a little bit because I feel less-than-certain that it will actually be eternal sleep and nothingness like most people believe. But it also comforts me because most of the conceivable ideas for what happens after death seem good to me and far preferable than the life I am living right now.
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep, cemeteryismyhome and Melly
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
47,971
For me it's the only peace and relief, I only hope for non-existence, in this existence where there's all this suffering and cruelty with no limit as to how much agony one can feel non-existence really is all I personally see as positive, I just want to never suffer ever again, only non-existence can bring me the peace I search for from this cruel, torturous existence I always saw as a mistake and I suffer just from being burdened with this existence. No matter what I'd just never wish for the burden of existence rather I just want some peace, what terrifies me is how a human can suffer for so long just to be tortured by old age, existence is the problem to me, I'll always see it as so dreadful to exist and more than anything I just wish this existence that just caused all this suffering all for the sake of it was never imposed at all. As long as I exist I'll only hope for non-existence and I always suffer from how I cannot just have the option to simply cease existing in peace, I wish for no more pain, no more suffering, I'll always see it as so deeply undesirable to exist.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep and seaquake
cemeteryismyhome

cemeteryismyhome

Paragon
Mar 15, 2025
971
It calms me. I long for death. I've made arrangements and paid for them to make things easier on my family. I take comfort in knowing, inevitably, I will end up as ashes in a small granite box I own in a cemetery. It's my home. šŸ 
 
  • Like
Reactions: seaquake
pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
4,334
It scares me a little bit because I feel less-than-certain that it will actually be eternal sleep and nothingness like most people believe. But it also comforts me because most of the conceivable ideas for what happens after death seem good to me and far preferable than the life I am living right now.
one thing out of many thousands that show to me that after Death is non-existence forever . is that everything requires a constant energy source and work to maintain it functioning or in order. everything breaks down or dies or runs out of energy.

This is called the law of Entropy.

you have to feed yourself all the time to power your cells and brain, organs, body.

so they want us to believe that everything dies, requires energy except of course an "eternal" soul for which no one has ever showed any evidence for.

everything breaks down dies dissipates even the stars and Universe but not a soul they say . i will never believe there is any soul.

the illusion that we have a lot of free energy is because there is a nuclear bomb a million times hevier than the Earth called the Sun constantly spewing massive amounts of energy toward this planet. The sun has a lot of fuel . but even the Sun's energy will run out in billions of years.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep, seaquake and Jarni
divinemistress87

divinemistress87

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,919
Calming but the momente during death terrify me
 
  • Like
Reactions: seaquake
C

cosmic-realism

Student
Sep 7, 2024
112
As long as there is no reincarnation and it's permanent sleep,death for me
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Mirelight and seaquake
X

xXSufferingXx

Enlightened
Feb 21, 2025
1,004
the thought of my own death comforts me greatly
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Mirelight, seaquake and pthnrdnojvsc
Unrecognizable7

Unrecognizable7

Student
Mar 22, 2025
186
it terrifies me greatly, i want nothing more than the life ive always imagined, but now that things have gone so bad it calms me as an exit, problem is that every time i get better i start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and come to the realization that there is no way out again
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: seaquake, myfaultneverlived and Mirelight
Mirelight

Mirelight

Just going through life's motions
May 21, 2024
249
It's calming. Although, I've been looking towards recovery since the past two months, I find it calming that if everything's fucked up, I can just die to end it all. Sure, it will hurt my parents and my friends greatly.... but it's only temporary. It will become eventually become the past and the hurt will lessen and eventually... they will die too. I know I sound like a psychopath and maybe I'm, but knowing nothing really matters in the long run, is extremely calming. But for some weird reason my brain wants me to ignore this fact, time and again leading me down a depressing spiral only for me to try and claw my way out again. "Nothing matters" has become like a mantra for me whenever things doesn't go the way I want it, when I become annoyed by someone or while I'm in pain... nothing matters and hence death is calming.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep and seaquake
Haematemesis

Haematemesis

Student
Jan 12, 2025
190
i am not afraid of going to sleep nor am i afraid of going to sleep one last time
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep, Mirelight and seaquake
TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
1,267
Neither. It just is what it is.
 
  • Like
Reactions: seaquake
A

areyousafe??

Arcanist
Nov 27, 2024
478
Both.

Most of the time, it calms me, because I know that suicide is always an available option. Now that my day is drawing closer, I can understand the "terrify" part. I think death terrifying me is just my SI slowly starting to kick in.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep and seaquake
R

rs929

Warlock
Dec 18, 2020
785
Both.

The idea of BEING dead calms me

The idea of the process of DYING is terrifying, except with N, and I don't have N
 
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep, seaquake and ForeverCaHa
S

sufferinghell

Member
Mar 12, 2025
8
Calm me because I wouldn't be hurting anymore and I wouldn't fuck up anymore relationships
 
hereornot

hereornot

Freedom
May 16, 2024
274
it's the only way to have peace
 
  • Like
Reactions: seaquake
ForeverCaHa

ForeverCaHa

Heartbroken Welshman
Feb 16, 2025
442
A bit from column A, a bit from column B. I can sit here with my unopened SN and act like I don't give a fuck and I welcome death and blah blah blah but in the moment before I drink it of course there will be fear. But does that fear of death outweigh my fear of life? That's something I'll have to decide in my own time.

Both.

The idea of BEING dead calms me

The idea of the process of DYING is terrifying, except with N, and I don't have N
^ This is exactly it
 
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep and seaquake
Unrecognizable7

Unrecognizable7

Student
Mar 22, 2025
186
A bit from column A, a bit from column B. I can sit here with my unopened SN and act like I don't give a fuck and I welcome death and blah blah blah but in the moment before I drink it of course there will be fear. But does that fear of death outweigh my fear of life? That's something I'll have to decide in my own time.


^ This is exactly it
I have seen you around a bunch and your profile pic always makes me smile, just thought id let you know.
 
  • Love
Reactions: ForeverCaHa
A

avalonisburning

Laugh again with me
May 12, 2024
153
I'm ambivalent. Death can be anything and nothing so it's pointless to speculate beyond what I hope will happen.

I can see the writing on the wall when it comes to life, and that's what scares me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ForeverCaHa
Jisatsu

Jisatsu

黒恄薔薇(The Black Rose)
Jan 5, 2025
2,012
At times the idea terrifies me but at others it seems to be all I want.... it's very human of me to be afraid of what's unknown.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lamy's sacred sleep

Similar threads

Lou_Charthethird
Replies
12
Views
440
Suicide Discussion
OnMyLast Legs
OnMyLast Legs
Max1714
Replies
9
Views
419
Suicide Discussion
lostallhope85
L
T
Replies
4
Views
376
Suicide Discussion
thehorizons
T
Sammystink
Replies
1
Views
216
Suicide Discussion
Shiitake
Shiitake
B
Replies
6
Views
342
Suicide Discussion
botanist_dude
B