Venting Does anyone else want to ctb because they don’t know how to be an adult?

[Circles]

Like I get so overwhelmed by all the stuff that I have to learn just to survive or all the things I need to know about just to keep myself from feeling like I'm drowning with fear. Like right now for example I'm listening to my mother making all these phone calls to doctor offices and such and I don't know the fucking first thing about how to do it or what to say without even stuttering with fear. And that's just one goddamn thing that would seem simple to most normal adults but not to me. I'm trying to learn more but it's like after a certain age and past a certain developmental stage in my life it's like I have a disability in learning how to be an adult. I don't know what to do besides think of suicide as my only way out from a future of constant failures and fears.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is part of my reason for ctb, I cannot cope with life and everything stresses me out. I am not meant for this world and I have so much dread for the future, for me things can only get worse. This life really can be so awful, my main reason for ctb is that I find life to be unbearable, I prefer the sound of non existence and nothing can hurt me when I am dead. I'm sorry that you are suffering. I wish you the best.

 

[Nightmare Painting]

It's one of my many reasons but not being a functional person is just a byproduct of all the things I experienced in childhood. I've always had severe developmental delay because of my trauma which impaired me in every aspect of life; I'm probably at least 15 years behind the average person. I've always been either apathetic or fearful of doing things so I never really got anywhere except living in constant stagnation. I didn't know how to open a bank account, do laundry, go to the doctor, etc or was unable to do things because I was suffering for so long. Being traumatized so early without any help made sure I'd never be a functional adult.

If you have even one good person in your life I'd talk to them and ask them to help you with the basics.

 

[whatevs]

Life is actually very hard, but the objective of everyone is to pretend that is an effortless task. However, things can (almost) always improve. You can go from being a complete loser to being 95% of a loser. For example, my parents still do almost everything for me but I might get a proper job soon, that'd be a start.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Yes, I would rather not be an adult.

 

[ClownMe]

Definitely, being an adult is too much responsibility and is a very mundane task day in and day out.

 

[Red Scare]

It's not that I don't know how, or what to do, it's just all such bullshit. I don't want to do any of it. I don't want a part in any of it.

Bills, appointments, taxes, deadlines, I hate it all.

There's something to be said about the complexities of living in a modern world.

OP @Circles how old are you? I know there are many of us here in our 20s or 30s living at home with our parents, but you seem from the sound of your post to be quite young. I just think it is tragic any time someone who is younger than 25 wants to ctb. Your brain is still developing, so much can happen between the age of 19-25. My entire life changed in that time, I met my spouse, moved across the country. Anything can happen.

 

[Judy Garland]

Bills, appointments, taxes, deadlines, I hate it all.

Ugh, I hate it all too. Can't stand this world and how everybody walks around with their phones acting like society makes sense.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Ugh, I hate it all too. Can't stand this world and how everybody walks around with their phones acting like society makes sense.

 

[summertimestars4]

It's not that I don't know how, or what to do, it's just all such bullshit. I don't want to do any of it. I don't want a part in any of it.

Bills, appointments, taxes, deadlines, I hate it all.

oh God, it's so true. who created all of these awful systems? half of them are so mediocre and broken it's a wonder anything gets done. i remember being a child and thinking adults all had their shit together and were honest, hard-working people. what a joke! everyone is trying to get away with as much as possible. it's annoying to deal with and downright disappointing.

 

[fatefulstillness]

This is not my reason, however, there's something related to this topic that makes my struggles worse.

For me, it's not the tasks I have to go through to keep myself alive and functioning, but how much I have to deal with people on a daily basis. It's extremely taxing and it ruins a lot of my day. I have to force mechanisms so they don't notice something's wrong.

I wish I could live in the mountains or in the middle of the woods. If not, I hope I find a job that makes social interaction bearable, otherwise it will be very hard to stay alive for as long as I need to.

 

[y0dha]

For me, it's not the tasks I have to go through to keep myself alive and functioning, but how much I have to deal with people on a daily basis. It's extremely taxing and it ruins a lot of my day. I have to force mechanisms so they don't notice something's wrong.

I feel you i've been avoid people since 6 years, doing all my best but there's always someone going on my way even though i plan everything to avoid maximum contact with people.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I wish I could live in the mountains or in the middle of the woods.

I liked that ideia.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Like I get so overwhelmed by all the stuff that I have to learn just to survive or all the things I need to know about just to keep myself from feeling like I'm drowning with fear. Like right now for example I'm listening to my mother making all these phone calls to doctor offices and such and I don't know the fucking first thing about how to do it or what to say without even stuttering with fear. And that's just one goddamn thing that would seem simple to most normal adults but not to me. I'm trying to learn more but it's like after a certain age and past a certain developmental stage in my life it's like I have a disability in learning how to be an adult. I don't know what to do besides think of suicide as my only way out from a future of constant failures and fears.

A lot of the 'adult' stuff people do is just fluff, you don't have to do most of it, if you're prepared to live a simple life. The only way to get better at making phone calls and shit like that is to make as many as you can, and don't copy others complicated ways of talking, just keep it simple and communicate what you need without any fluff. The fluff is just for twats who enjoy small talk and socializing - if that's not you, then fuck it. Most receptionists would rather you just tell them what want as simply as possible so they can put the phone down and get rid of you.

Here's my advice for people who don't cope with life well, who still live with parents. Find a simple job you can cope with for 5 years, plus an evening cleaning job. Save, save, save everything you can for 5 years. Move to a shitty area where you can buy a shitty house outright with your money. You've just escaped the rat race! Rent/mortgage is the most stressful adult thing that exists, and now you don't have to worry about that ever again. Work 3 to 4 hours in evening cleaning jobs where you are on your own to pay the bills, to avoid working with annoying people. Spend your days doing whatever the fuck you like in your shitty house. Fuck everything else.

If you don't live with parents, buy a van, put a mattress in the back to avoid rent, and do the plan above that way.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

A lot of the 'adult' stuff people do is just fluff, you don't have to do most of it, if you're prepared to live a simple life. The only way to get better at making phone calls and shit like that is to make as many as you can, and don't copy others complicated ways of talking, just keep it simple and communicate what you need without any fluff. The fluff is just for twats who enjoy small talk and socializing - if that's not you, then fuck it. Most receptionists would rather you just tell them what want as simply as possible so they can put the phone down and get rid of you.

Here's my advice for people who don't cope with life well, who still live with parents. Find a simple job you can cope with for 5 years, plus an evening cleaning job. Save, save, save everything you can for 5 years. Move to a shitty area where you can buy a shitty house outright with your money. You've just escaped the rat race! Rent/mortgage is the most stressful adult thing that exists, and now you don't have to worry about that ever again. Work 3 to 4 hours in evening cleaning jobs where you are on your own to pay the bills, to avoid working with annoying people. Spend your days doing whatever the fuck you like in your shitty house. Fuck everything else.

If you don't live with parents, buy a van, put a mattress in the back to avoid rent, and do the plan above that way.

Sorry, just want to say that I love your nickname.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I've never felt like an adult... Or have I never felt like a child, and how I feel is adulthood but I just can't tell because it's all I've ever known? I just always feel like an inept man-child.

I had to take care of my parents starting from ~4-5yo. I was raised in a grow-op by drug producing/dealing parents and I openly knew about all of that since I can remember. My "friends" were always my parents' friends and drug customers. I never met another kid until I started school [can't have strange kids around the drug house, but your own kid is okay, apparently...].

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Sorry, just want to say that I love your nickname.

Well, I suffer with chronic pain... IN THE ASS!!! And hips, and knees, and feet...

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Well, I suffer with chronic pain... IN THE ASS!!! And hips, and knees, and feet...

Oh sorry that must be a bummer

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Oh sorry that must be a bummer

And I'm a pain in the ass, to myself and others!

 

[Red Scare]

I've never felt like an adult... Or have I never felt like a child, and how I feel is adulthood but I just can't tell because it's all I've ever known? I just always feel like an inept man-child.

I had to take care of my parents starting from ~4-5yo. I was raised in a grow-op by drug producing/dealing parents and I openly knew about all of that since I can remember. My "friends" were always my parents' friends and drug customers. I never met another kid until I started school [can't have strange kids around the drug house, but your own kid is okay, apparently...].

Do you mean weed? Sorry, weed is not a serious drug.

But I can understand what a stressful lifestyle it is. Having been a professional grower from about 2008 to 2016. A lot of unsavory people. So yeah I guess you're right, but I wouldn't compare it to like meth, unless you mean meth, in which case I am sorry.

 

[Circles]

It's not that I don't know how, or what to do, it's just all such bullshit. I don't want to do any of it. I don't want a part in any of it.

Bills, appointments, taxes, deadlines, I hate it all.

There's something to be said about the complexities of living in a modern world.

OP @Circles how old are you? I know there are many of us here in our 20s or 30s living at home with our parents, but you seem from the sound of your post to be quite young. I just think it is tragic any time someone who is younger than 25 wants to ctb. Your brain is still developing, so much can happen between the age of 19-25. My entire life changed in that time, I met my spouse, moved across the country. Anything can happen.

I'm 27 years old disabled living with my mother with no future prospects coming my way besides a boring and lonely adult life. It's laughable I'll ever find someone who'd like me and I sure as shit will never have the money to travel even within my own state. 'Anything can happen' isn't true.

 

[Red Scare]

I'm 27 years old disabled living with my mother with no future prospects coming my way besides a boring and lonely adult life. It's laughable I'll ever find someone who'd like me and I sure as shit will never have the money to travel even within my own state. 'Anything can happen' isn't true.

I didn't realize how old you were. We have had a lot of members younger than 25.

I'm disabled too, and so maybe I am biased but I wouldn't rule out a partner with a disability. My spouse was able bodied, and didn't care that I have a disability. I guess I am saying not everyone is that shallow.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Do you mean weed? Sorry, weed is not a serious drug.

But I can understand what a stressful lifestyle it is. Having been a professional grower from about 2008 to 2016. A lot of unsavory people. So yeah I guess you're right, but I wouldn't compare it to like meth, unless you mean meth, in which case I am sorry.

Yes, weed.

Having to move every 6-9 months to avoid being caught [I went to 15 schools from K-12]. Having my uncle [who lived with us and helped run the operation] threaten to kill me when I was 7yo if I ever told anyone about their "special plants". Parents high all day, every day, high customers hanging around the house.

No, not nearly as bad as if it were other drugs. But still no fucking way to raise a child.

 

[Red Scare]

Yes, weed.

Having to move every 6-9 months to avoid being caught [I went to 15 schools from K-12]. Having my uncle [who lived with us and helped run the operation] threaten to kill me when I was 7yo if I ever told anyone about their "special plants". Parents high all day, every day, high customers hanging around the house.

No, not nearly as bad as if it were other drugs. But still no fucking way to raise a child.

I guess I forget that back then it was a lot less legal of a venture. I'm sorry you had to experience any of that.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I guess I forget that back then it was a lot less legal of a venture. I'm sorry you had to experience any of that.

Yeah, this was from 1989-1999. Much, much different than today. And thankfully weed is legal here now. Funnily, I never tried it until it was legalized, despite being surrounded by it my entire life. Even after they left the business, my parents were stoned 24/7.

 

[sealbabies]

All kinds of new stressors of being an adult for sure (ofc puberty sucked) and if you had any abuse/trauma as a kid it usually leaks into adulthood.
I was always told I was emotionally stunted and I can't deny it. Being an adult hits harder in some ways... like this is really it? And god help you if anything tragic/life-changing appends, you're on your own. Turned "responsibility" into a dirty word for me as well lol.

 

[heirofvoid]

YES. Although I wasn't an adult when I got into college but it felt like that was the start of trying to become an adult for me. The sudden wave of stuff to do that no one taught me just overwhelmed the shit out of me. And everyone expects you to just know them! It's insane.

 

[deleted]

If being a successful adult is working 8 hours a day out of 2 hours on buses and subways for minimum wage I'd rather be a failed teenager who is playing games and watching anime, I can't even imagine being old I'm the type of person who kills himself before 23

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yes I am non functional at this point because of bullying and awful first relationship before age 25

 

[stellabelle]

Oh I knew how to be an adult, but nobody else did.

It lead to traumatizing experiences, recklessness, abuse, stalking, and the ultimate "failure" of attempts to get back on my feet and away from abusers.

Seems to be too late for me.

Oh well.

Too bad.

Sorry life, I couldn't conquer my idiots or demons.