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The Abyss

The Abyss

Why're we still here, just to suffer?
Dec 19, 2019
259
No, my childhood was marred by bullying, neglect, not understood/undiagnosed Aspergers, anorexia & poverty.
 
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LivingDeadGirl

LivingDeadGirl

Member
Sep 4, 2020
41
No, the only magical part of my childhood were the fantasies I created in my head to help escape the pain. I don't remember a lot of my younger years, but from about 12 on it was a depressive hell. I wish I knew for even a second what a happy (magical) life felt like.
 
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Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,623
No childhood was not magical at all I was already depressed as fuck
 
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BorderlineSuicidal

BorderlineSuicidal

Let death bless me with you
Aug 30, 2020
40
I'm 19, and I just miss my innocence more than anything
 
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B

benjamind2020

Member
Sep 18, 2020
66
My memories of being a kid were so good even though I did get into trouble quite a bit. Felt golden 95% of the time.

Today I feel like shit 95% of time and I wish I could go back to those days.
 
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deadbeat

deadbeat

Member
Sep 9, 2020
89
I haven't been consistently happy since I was a child. I constantly wish I could go back.
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,359
Up until I was a teenager and the sexual abuse started. Until then things were full of wonder and delight. Everything felt innocent and pure.
 
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LonelyNick

LonelyNick

They/Them, He/Him
Jul 15, 2020
262
I honestly don't remember much from my childhood...
 
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G

greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,664
On a Christmas Eve I can get that feeling .
 
YellowSneakers

YellowSneakers

Member
Aug 2, 2020
39
The feeling of looking forward is what I miss most about my youth. The comforting knowledge that the future could hold any number of possibilities.
That's gone now. The grim realities of life are grinding me down while knowing full well my future is bleak & the possibilities shrink by the day.
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Illuminated
Aug 27, 2018
3,069
I'm only 18 years old but life already lost all its magic i felt when i was a kid...
Yes more than you will ever know I have a nostalgia folder with 1645 elements in it including childhood pictures and such and other albums of my childhood and even teenage years. and in the corner of my room I have boxes of school books and other stuff from childhood and arts and crafts from kindergarten I still have a box of my old Yugi-Oh cards and miss my childhood every day and sometimes dream of hanging out with childhood friends.

I always say that childhood and teenage years are living, adulthood is just existing because despite of depression as a teenager I had a lot of fun and excitement and lots of friends and social circle so life was still fun. But back at my childhood I have missed it ever since I hit puberty I remember one sleep over at my house where me, my brother and best friend at the time a childhood best friend pulled and all nighter I was 13 they were 12 but even at 13 years old I missed my carefree childhood so at around 6am in the morning while the sun was slowly rising and it was chilly outside not cold but just refreshing cool weather and I convinced them to climb the fence into the kindergarten which was closed since it was a Saturday just to experience the nostalgia, it was so intense back then at 13 nothing had changed everything looked exactly the same as when I went there those 7 years ago but everything seemed so much smaller like I was a giant it felt unreal like being instantly transported back into that world that was long gone back in to the time where I lived paradise on Earth i.e. my childhood.

The most magical feeling if I am to return to topic is Christmas time to wake up and see the ground covered in a thick layer of snow the same with rooftops, trees, branches just everything a beautiful snow covered landscape it felt so magical and the excitement was so hard to contain especially opening presents on Christmas Eve the 24th as we do in Scandinavia and when "Santa Claus" (my dad) came in with our presents and we really thought it was Santa it was so exhilarating.
But every single day until Christmas Eve felt amazing like there was sprinkled magic dust all over everything even just waking up every morning walking past our Christmas tree and the smell of the tree and the beautiful lights was such an amazing feeling, damn just writing about this make me miss it so much please take me back to that wonderful life of a paradise that was my childhood :'(
 
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O

Okami

Student
Mar 16, 2018
124
I have conflicting viewpoints on my childhood, and I both miss and hate it. All those memories feel much longer ago than they actually are, to the point where I don't even recognize myself. It feels like my years as a kid never even happened; or if they did, they feel universes away. I remember putting how I used to feel toward life on some sort of pedestal; believing that life used to be better. I convinced myself that I had lost something that I never actually had to begin with. However, as the years have passed, I let go of that last remaining form of positivity I clung to. Life was always dull and heartbreaking; I just lacked the ability to truly realize it back then. Things drastically became more difficult when I was 9 years old, and that's when everything just shattered all at once. My life has been on a decline ever since, though my situation is worsening a lot faster than it used to.
 
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Largeletters

Largeletters

Alone
Jan 21, 2020
640
No. Life was just as bad then, at that time I thought it was normal.
 
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xkonstantinexx

xkonstantinexx

Member
Jun 11, 2021
78
I always thought that I had a somewhat normal childhood until recently when I was made to remember that my first suicidal thought was when I was 12. I didn't know what it meant back then.

If I miss anything, it would be the innocence that I had.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,441
As a kid, I was still unhappy and frustrated by everything. I have been that way my whole life really. However I would take being a kid over the age I am now for certain. Growing up is overrated.
 
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MiseryWithoutCompany

MiseryWithoutCompany

Doggo Good, Doggo Great
Oct 1, 2020
63
I had a lot less as a kid, we were just above poverty. I think it felt magical because I had to use more of my imagination than I do now, without the help of the internet and games and movies with realisitic graphics.

The magic of the closeness of my family, the closeness of the community... Yeah, I miss it.
 
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W

WFJ74

Student
Aug 18, 2020
150
I actually had a wonderful childhood. A lot of great memories of my pre-teen years. Once I was a teen, the crazy redneck stepdad came into the picture and everything changed. He terrorized me for 6 years until I made my first attempt at suicide. But even after he was gone the depression and anxiety never left. I do miss the magic of my younger years though.. it was so simple then.
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
The childhood never went away for me. It only got locked inside.
 
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A

Anonymous_A

Arcanist
Oct 4, 2020
411
Yeah I miss it.
Shame I had to grow up kinda early, at age 12/13. Look after and care for my moms, then had to look after myself growing up.
Even tho I've managed to enjoy some parts in life, it really does feel like I grew up too fast.
 
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greyhound

greyhound

Arcanist
Oct 8, 2020
471
Yeah totally, I also got sick when I was 15 so my life started unravelling at that point and it hasn't really stopped going downhill.

I wish there were like terminal fortune tellers you could go to, where they read your fortune and then serve you Nembutal tea if they deemed it too bad to continue on. So you'd never really know you'd just pass out if the future wasn't worth it. Otherwise you'd finish your Orange Pekoe or whatever and walk out of there.
 
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H

Hepi

Member
Jun 5, 2021
42
I miss my youth very much. Those were the best carefree times. I was very outgoing, I took my friends out to have fun together, sometimes too much so because I had poor grades. I thought about having fun and not doing homework. The heyday of the PS1 (games console) was the best time of my life. Nothing gave me as much happiness as those few years. I often think back to those times...yes I am a grown up Peter Pan.
 
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